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How Steve Jobs would have presented Wii U at E3
- Thread starter marc^o^
- Start date
- Status
William Wallace: And if these are your gamers, why do they grumble?
Reggie: We didn't come here to release products for them!
Iwata: Home! The amelicans are too harrrd to puhrrease!
William Wallace: Misfits and outcasts! I am William Wallace!
Evilore: William Wallace is seven feet tall!
William Wallace: Yes, I've heard. Releases games by the hundreds. And if HE were here, he'd announce a new Zelda game for the Wii U, and promise the true successor to Mario Galaxy on released day.
[E3 crowd laughs]
William Wallace: I *am* William Wallace! And I see a whole army of my gamers, here in defiance of games that all look like Uncharted. You've come to E3 as gamers... and gamers you are. What will you do with that itch to play new games? Will you buy the Wii U?!
Evilore: Buy that? No! We will play Uncharted. And we will be content.
William Wallace: Aye, buy the Wii U and you may be dissatisfied. Play those AAA-games and you may be content ... at least for a while. And fapping in your beds, many years from now, would you be willing to trade ALL the days, from this day to that for one chance, JUST ONE CHANCE, to come back here, and tell Activision, that they might release endless supplies of CoD-games, but they will never offer, ASYMMETRICAL GAME PLAY! LEAVE LUCK TO HEAVEN!
E3 CROWD: LEAVE LUCK TO HEAVEN!
he's gone up on stage with plenty of crap products. Apple Hi-Fi, the Cube, the Mighty Mouse, the apple TV, Mobile Me.
BassForever
Member
This thread continues to deliver every time I check on it lol
I read it all out of a sense of courtesy of reading the OP before replying.
I may have to change that rule.
Horse Armour
Member
I love how this thread has so many people calling the OP a Nintendo fanboy but not actually saying it for fear of mod bannings.
I got through most of it. If Gabe would give me access to the Source Filmmaker this would be immortalized as a Spy rant...
THIS
I wouldn't say a fanboy out and out since he also has some posts about other platforms, but he seems infatuated with the Wii U since E3 lol
Frank Jaeger
Member
First time seeing a press conference fanfic!
I would like to order a white house press release fanfic please! Please put some russians in there!
I would like to order a white house press release fanfic please! Please put some russians in there!
How Neogaf would introduce a Nintendo system:
im dying irl
SpacePirate Ridley
Member
That was a tragic read, not even fun fanboys there, only idiots, spouting nonsense and using the word opinion as their defense shield.
Barkley's Justice
Member
haha
Hot Coldman
Banned
Corporation fan-fiction. Awesome.
Eight Diagram Bat Fighter
Banned
Where is the "But... there's just one more thing" part? Fail FAIL
Skiesofwonder
Walruses, camels, bears, rabbits, tigers and badgers.
Lion Heart
Banned
That was cringe-worthy.
Interfectum
Member
If (when) the Wii U fails... someone may want to keep an eye on marc^o^ to make sure he doesn't do anything crazy.
Steve Youngblood
Member
I can't get my head around it either. However, I don't think we concur on what to take away from this exercise.
Again, none of which were flagship products, all of which were at least good concepts.
The Wii U is Nintendo's iPhone. It's the future of the company.
SpeedingUptoStop
will totally Facebook friend you! *giggle* *LOL*
This thread is terrifying.
I survived the Dreamcast, don't worry for me. Posting positive things about Wii U is normal for a passionate Nintendo gamer. There are also negative threads on this board, and it forms a fair balance.
ZombieSupaStar
Member
"It is remarkable how similar the pattern of love is to the pattern of insanity."
Hey I'm just appreciating the level of dedication. I wish I could be as dedicated as that in quite a few things. I'd be much better off.
The target of OP's hard work is a seperate issue altogether...
The real world doesn't work on Fox News logic.
If there is overwhelming criticism, it probably points to the reality that there are problems with the platform. If you see a need to participate in the positive position and spin pro bono for a corporation, I mean, wtf?
"It is remarkable how similar the pattern of love is to the pattern of insanity."
Top notch, good sir.
I have to say, this is truly an obsession.
Perhaps the OP should apply for a job at Nintendo.
H_Prestige
Banned
I get that their presentation skills are god awful, but what's so bad about the product that Jobs would have killed it before it ever saw daylight? How would he have designed the next gen console?
EmCeeGramr
Member
anyone else remember anihawk's drgakman motivational poster
LegendofJoe
Member
OP seek professional help, you need it.
I'm serious
- Status