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LGBTQIA+ | OT7 | ~First comes love, then comes marriage~

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Monocle

Monocle

Member
DOWN said:
I think a lot of people use the term bisexual without being sure that they are not. No malice in it generally but rather that sense that a lot of lesbians and gays talk about where they began realizing they had attractions to the same sex but didn't think that their (heteronormative influenced) past beliefs about their potential partners and attractions were totally wrong. This is also confused by the fluidity of sexuality (i.e. many people make comments that they might be willing to try things with the opposite sex or that they find exceptions in their sexuality where they find someone hot that doesn't actually reflect the orientation they state).

Someone gay who realized it over time but after having many physical relationships with the opposite sex for example, may think they must be bi since they weren't totally averse to the opposite sex. Over time, they may learn that it had more to do with some sexual fluidity and their overall heteronormative upbringing than what their real overwhelming preferences are long term.

And then there is the layer where someone may think it is a safer term. Saying bisexual to their family means they weren't lying or confused, or aren't taking away the validity of their past statements or relationships with opposite sex partners. It also leaves the possibility for them to only/mostly engage in those heterosexual relationships long term, which may be far fetched, but it's a bit of wishful thinking that someone coming out may feel giving out eases the blow to the family/friends they are telling.

So yes, it does suck that bisexual gets misused as a term as the side effect is people not even believing it exists. But I think questioning may be a stage many people don't really know or feel is a conclusive identity to share so I guess I kind of get why the mislabeling is common. Questioning is sort of the private stage before you think you have found the right label, whenever that label is seeming to be different than you realized (learning you aren't straight, are bi/gay, are fluid). A lot of people in the "i have liked the opposite sex but I also am learning I like the same sex" may be gay, but don't know that they are not bi and are rather at a point where they would be better off having the foresight to say they are questioning when asked or even when asking themselves.

It seems like it sort of goes sometimes:
"I think I'm straight like everyone else">"I like the same sex too? Maybe it is a phase/ won't be a factor in dating life">"yeah, I accept that I like the same sex, but I don't think exclusively. Bisexual"> "I've dated around and know that I'm no longer getting connections to the opposite sex like I once thought I had, so maybe not?">"yeah I'm gay actually"

That's what I gather but I'm gay and never identified as bi publicly so I welcome other input.

I think I had the denial stage thinking I could be straight and just in a curious phase, then thought well I see good things in both so I can just hide the homo side of me, then eventually knew I really wanted guys but thought I could never tell, then I used the term gay in my mind, then I finally thought one day I'll be out, then silly as may be I saw my mom's reaction to Anderson Cooper and was able to come out to my family a few months later.
Click to expand...
Yeah, I think it's totally plausible that some gay people who identify as bisexual at first are honestly not sure what else to do. That label can make sense in the middle of an identity shift. Insufficient or misleading sex education and contradictory social messaging can do a real number on people who lack the resources to make sense of their attractions. It would be preferable on all sides if "questioning" was the standard stepping stone for people who are beginning to acknowledge their nonstraight orientation. Maybe someday.

Delio said:
Wow most of them were pretty wonderbread tier. But yes twins are nice.
Click to expand...
I'm not entirely sure what that means, but any of them could make me the meat in their sandwich.
 
U

umop_3pisdn

Member
Monocle said:
I'm not sure what to think about readheads.

Don't they make your, um, hackles rise?

That oughta fix the hunk drought we've been having around these parts
.
Click to expand...

Like.

More:

fuVGY3j.jpg

eBlWR08.jpg
Click to expand...

Also really blond guys, like so blond I can barely tell if you have eyebrows. Actually I like everything but this is more of a recent development for me. Was mostly just intro brunets from like 12-23.
 
D

Deleted member 465307

Unconfirmed Member
umop_3pisdn said:
Also really blond guys, like so blond I can barely tell if you have eyebrows. Actually I like everything but this is more of a recent development for me. Was mostly just intro brunets from like 12-23.
Click to expand...

I'm generally not into super blond looks, but I think it's because I have those eyebrows and have/had (RIP, thanks MPB) that hair. I've always been more quickly attracted to people darker than me (that's not hard to qualify for).* Then again, I've started finding blonds more attractive recently, and almost as if I'm following in your footsteps, I'm 23.

*I think I've written this on here before. Sorry if I'm being repetitive.
 
M

Mostmanlyman

Member
DOWN said:
I think a lot of people use the term bisexual without being sure that they are not. No malice in it generally but rather that sense that a lot of lesbians and gays talk about where they began realizing they had attractions to the same sex but didn't think that their (heteronormative influenced) past beliefs about their potential partners and attractions were totally wrong. This is also confused by the fluidity of sexuality (i.e. many people make comments that they might be willing to try things with the opposite sex or that they find exceptions in their sexuality where they find someone hot that doesn't actually reflect the orientation they state).

Someone gay who realized it over time but after having many physical relationships with the opposite sex for example, may think they must be bi since they weren't totally averse to the opposite sex. Over time, they may learn that it had more to do with some sexual fluidity and their overall heteronormative upbringing than what their real overwhelming preferences are long term.

And then there is the layer where someone may think it is a safer term. Saying bisexual to their family means they weren't lying or confused, or aren't taking away the validity of their past statements or relationships with opposite sex partners. It also leaves the possibility for them to only/mostly engage in those heterosexual relationships long term, which may be far fetched, but it's a bit of wishful thinking that someone coming out may feel giving out eases the blow to the family/friends they are telling.

So yes, it does suck that bisexual gets misused as a term as the side effect is people not even believing it exists. But I think questioning may be a stage many people don't really know or feel is a conclusive identity to share so I guess I kind of get why the mislabeling is common. Questioning is sort of the private stage before you think you have found the right label, whenever that label is seeming to be different than you realized (learning you aren't straight, are bi/gay, are fluid). A lot of people in the "i have liked the opposite sex but I also am learning I like the same sex" may be gay, but don't know that they are not bi and are rather at a point where they would be better off having the foresight to say they are questioning when asked or even when asking themselves.

It seems like it sort of goes sometimes:
"I think I'm straight like everyone else">"I like the same sex too? Maybe it is a phase/ won't be a factor in dating life">"yeah, I accept that I like the same sex, but I don't think exclusively. Bisexual"> "I've dated around and know that I'm no longer getting connections to the opposite sex like I once thought I had, so maybe not?">"yeah I'm gay actually"

That's what I gather but I'm gay and never identified as bi publicly so I welcome other input.

I think I had the denial stage thinking I could be straight and just in a curious phase, then thought well I see good things in both so I can just hide the homo side of me, then eventually knew I really wanted guys but thought I could never tell, then I used the term gay in my mind, then I finally thought one day I'll be out, then silly as may be I saw my mom's reaction to Anderson Cooper and was able to come out to my family a few months later.
Click to expand...
I feel like I'm currently figuring out stuff about my sexuality, before I have never really thought about it but recently I started to.. I have never had a real relationship with anyone. :/
I would say I'm bi.
I don't think I'm doing the thing you mentioned, where I'm using it as a stepping stone. I feel like I don't full know yet.
 
R

RatskyWatsky

Hunky Nostradamus
3phemeral said:
Yes indeed. So it depends on what you want, ultimately. Granted, it's a small screen for doing full blown work, but if he wants to watch a movie, he'll just send it to the Chromecast if we want a bigger screen. The portability with desktop productivity apps are really the defining reasons he recommends it.

As for gaming, I'm not sure. He doesn't use it for that. It only has 2GB of RAM and probably lacks a dedicated video card. There's not a lot of HD space so it's primarily wifi reliant for accessing movies/storing & accessing docs. Despite that, the performance is fine.

I should have asked: what are you using it for?
Click to expand...

In order of importance:

Web browsing
Apps (Twitter, Tumblr, YouTube, Skype/Facetime)
School stuff (textbooks and the like)
Music
Comics
Streaming movies (Netflix, Hulu)
Games (I don't reaaaaaally care about games but it would be sort of nice to play something now and then)

I won't be using it much/at all for work. Also, I don't own very much/any media - I prefer to stream everything via Spotify/Netflix, etc. - so I'm hoping the 16GB of the iPad Mini 2 (the tablet I'm still leaning towards) won't be a barrier for me.
 
A

Aarglefarg

Member
Mostmanlyman said:
I feel like I'm currently figuring out stuff about my sexuality, before I have never really thought about it but recently I started to.. I have never had a real relationship with anyone. :/
I would say I'm bi.
I don't think I'm doing the thing you mentioned, where I'm using it as a stepping stone. I feel like I don't full know yet.
Click to expand...
Keep being you and it will come with time. I hope that the discussion here hasn't made you feel less welcome.
 
M

Mostmanlyman

Member
Aarglefarg said:
Keep being you and it will come with time. I hope that the discussion here hasn't made you feel less welcome.
Click to expand...
No not at all. I'm glad to learn more about stuff like that. Yeah I'm not rushing anything, I'm just letting it happen. It is nice being talk about it somewhere, it is better than keeping them all in.
 
K

Kevyt

Member
RatskyWatsky said:
In order of importance:

Web browsing
Apps (Twitter, Tumblr, YouTube, Skype/Facetime)
School stuff (textbooks and the like)
Music
Comics
Streaming movies (Netflix, Hulu)
Games (I don't reaaaaaally care about games but it would be sort of nice to play something now and then)

I won't be using it much/at all for work. Also, I don't own very much/any media - I prefer to stream everything via Spotify/Netflix, etc. - so I'm hoping the 16GB of the iPad Mini 2 (the tablet I'm still leaning towards) won't be a barrier for me.
Click to expand...

Well face time is exclusive to iOS so you're better off going with the iPad mini 2 then.
 
R

RatskyWatsky

Hunky Nostradamus
Seath said:
Well face time is exclusive to iOS so you're better off going with the iPad mini 2 then.
Click to expand...

FaceTime isn't a requirement for me - just a neat bonus to buying an iPad.

Btw, how is the iPad's web browser? Or web browsers on tablets in general? Can they handle most websites? Like, the PS3 and PSP browsers are shit because most sites crash and they can't run videos (I think because they never update the flash player or whatever?) - they're very limited (of course, they're also much older tech, so obviously they're not going to be as good).

Have you ever run into any problems while browsing the web on a tablet?
 
K

Kevyt

Member
RatskyWatsky said:
FaceTime isn't a requirement for me - just a neat bonus to buying an iPad.

Btw, how is the iPad's web browser? Or web browsers on tablets in general? Can they handle most websites? Like, the PS3 and PSP browsers are shit because most sites crash and they can't run videos (I think because they never update the flash player or whatever?) - they're very limited (of course, they're also much older tech, so obviously they're not going to be as good).

Have you ever run into any problems while browsing the web on a tablet?
Click to expand...

You shouldn't have any trouble accessing any web sites on a tablet. Some sites might be buggy or certain features might not work correctly but usually almost every site today has a mobile version fitted for smartphones and tablets.
 
V

Vazra

irresponsible vagina leak
I don't want kids and at this point my hand is doing just fine.
Thanks tumblr for the material
 
A

Aeriscloud

Banned
I'm really thinking of getting my ears pierced. I've wanted at least one pierced since I was 6 or so, but I've always been afraid of what people would think. I ordered some magnetic small black disc shaped ones to see how they look. I'm pretty conflicted though.
 
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