It will be a beautiful day when white folks stop trying to tell minorities (in this case, blacks) what to do.
I personally don't care for use of the word and don't use it, but I am not speaking for everyone. For many of us, using it is somewhat empowering. For others it can be used as a term of endearment. And for some of us, the word is something we want to leave behind.
At the end of the day, the black community deserves to have some fucking control of what we do and say. It's always some douchebag trying to tell us what to do. Fuck that noise.
I agree that it isn't for a non-African American to say whether or not you can or should use it. That's obviously absurd. But in contexts such as this http://www.worldstarhiphop.com/videos/video.php?v=wshhbYHmKA8Mma7IJJsu (I grabbed the first confrontation video on their front page) it is extremely sad to hear. Should you care that it makes me sad? No. I am curious what you hear it in it, though.