My girlfriend told me tonight that tonight's results is questioning whether she ever wants to have kids, anymore. Which would devastate me if true.
I'm hoping this attitude is more a quick reaction and not something real and lasting...but it goes to show you the despair.
My friends and I finished a conversation on whatsapp (half are actually abroad right now) wondering if our democracy will prevail. And in a serious way. And I couldn't make a case it would...just, "well, i just can't say for sure it will."
So depressing.
Today broke Mamba. I feel gutted.
I had a similar conversation with my fellow grad students after class. Right now, at this moment, I really can't imagine wanting to bring in a child to this world with such a dark, unknown future. It was absolutely heart wrenching to legitimately feel that way.
My class is on systems of measurement in my field, the professor also teaches the ethics course that I'll take next year.
Anyway, as it became clear that something was seriously wrong, and Trump was at 200-something over Hillary, it became obvious no one was focused on the lecture.
My professor had to pause the class (I'm in California btw) and saw that we all wanted to air out what was happening. He first talked about how he had a class on Sept 12 a long time ago, and he knew he couldn't teach that material to the class. He said he felt the same way tonight. He mentioned how he has never talked politics to a class before, how he's in a position of power over us and it wouldn't be right.
However he then opened up the floor to discussion and questions between all of us.
It was heart wrenching. Some people were crying. Most were just shellshocked. Eventually most of us just spoke on our grievance, our sadness, our outlook on the future. It was a bit cathartic to experience that with them.
The professor finished his lecture.
As a group afterwards a number of us stayed behind to just console (i guess?) each other. It ended with us giving each other hugs. At least a little hope.
Really maybe one good memory from tonight.
We needed that.