Pah, youngsters. I was born under Eisenhower.
Now, I had one of my dreams about Trump's campaign management trying to take the focus off the current dumpster fire. It went something like this:
MANAFORT: Hey, Donald. We've got to take the focus off all the recent car crash stuff.
TRUMP: That's Mister Trump to you, loser.
MANAFORT: Yeah sure, whatever. By the way I got you a new phone. Nice phone. Got diamonds in the home button. Plus, it's secure. Hugely secure.
TRUMP: (twiddling with phone) So what's this idea you got - by the way, WHAT CAR CRASH??
MANAFORT: Never mind the vehicles Don. Thing is, we have to close down the shit that is flying around. Crazy corrupt shit I know, but it's damaging us, er, you. Cleared it with Reince too.
PRIEBUS: Yeah, schure diddly.
MANAFORT: So what we do is we release your tax returns.
TRUMP: No way Bud. Hey, who is that on CNN? Hot!
PRIEBUS: No really Mister Trump. See, if you release your tax returns then the media, OK the MASSIVELY CORRUPT MEDIA, will talk about nothing else for the next two months. And it is entirely personal to you Donald Mister Trump Shir Thing and it won't rebound on the Repub ....
MANAFORT: ... What Reince is saying Don, is it gives us one thing to focus on, one thing to defend, while we put all the attack guns out on Hillary.
TRUMP: There's no Twitter on this phone
MANAFORT: That's what makes it secure Don.
TRUMP: Not gonna release my tax returns. It'll kill me.
PRIEBUS: But it won't kill the party, that's the key ...
MANAFORT: ... hold it Reince. Look Don, We need to do this. We really need to do this. In fact, er, we've done it already about five minutes ago.
TRUMP: LOSER! %&$£$! This is all your fault!
MANAFORT: Actually, no Don. We had Meredith McIver do it. So the whole thing's deniable. Good luck Don. You're booked on MSNBC in an hour's time. Fancy a beer Reince?