These criticisms of Rey do seem to be motivated by gender because the Force explicitly doesn't work like an RPG mechanic where you must grind so many experience points to level up and unlock a new ability. This is OG Force, not the prequel trash.
It's not about "experience points." It's about fundamental, as basic as possible character development.
A few people have brought up The Matrix, where Neo is basically a god in the flesh, but the entirety of the movie is about him working to realize that potential step-by-step, and that's why it works. He fails at jump simulations like everyone else, and it takes a while before he can keep up in fight simulations because he hasn't yet internalized that they're not "real." He has to practice and improve. It's not a perfect movie by any stretch (the way Trinity gets him to recover and make that final push at the end always felt kind of hokey to me, personally), but it's still a good character arc overall.
TFA doesn't have the time to do all of its characters justice, and Rey ends up with the short end of the stick in that regard. She has to be a competent pilot, duelist, and escape artist because the plot simply demands it, and there isn't time to develop her properly. To be fair, it's not like the film does an absolutely terrible job of it. Kylo Ren is a clearly flawed opponent, and his battle was a team effort. She's decent enough at piloting the Falcon, but there's a sense that the vehicle only survives the events of the movie because it's built like a fucking tank and can handle some abuse.
But I just can't get over her knowledge of and adequacy at using the force without any known prior training or study. Even then it's not all bad. Pushing back against Kylo Ren's interrogation and flipping it around on him was legitimately cool imo. You can get the impression that she began to understand what he was doing and, through natural talent, flipped it back around on him after she got used to it. But the escape from her bindings? How did she even know that mind control was a thing, and how did she manage to pull it off? It's all a little too much, and it needs to be explained away to some extent in further sequels.
But why critique writing or characterization when you can just dismiss this all by babbling about sexism or gender roles, right?