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Super Best Friends Thread 5: There's a Skeleton Inside Each of Us

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Z

Zenfalcia

Member
NCR Redslayer said:
Thanks. I heard katawa shoujo is something really worth trying.
Click to expand...

It's pretty good. Some routes are better than others. Writing goes from good to bad at times.

Banana Aeon said:
It's entry level. It's not bad, I guess.

I don't care about VNs, unless they are dumb enough for me to shit on the entire playthough. Apparently, this one has "feels" so I avoided it.
Click to expand...

Not even for the RELATIONSHIPS and "rewards"?
heh.
Some feels, depends on the route and what kind of feels you get.
 
O

Oberon

Banned
360pages said:
The other problem is that I'm 20 years old, and I'm always thinking that I should be better than this. I mean I'm sure there are people younger than I that can write better, and the idea that I might have to completely rewrite something from nearly scratch after spending so much time on a draft crushes me as well.
Click to expand...

I have the same problem, but with drawing.
I am 18, and still can't do the basics properly. My shading is still complete rubbish!
But remember what Plague said, it doesn't matter how good you are, there's still someone younger and better than you. Never be satisfied with your work, there's alwaw room for improvement, and if don't like , don't be afraid to start over. It's not waisted time.

It isnw waisted
 
3

360pages

Member
Oberon said:
I have the same problem, but with drawing.
I am 18, and still can't do the basics properly. My shading is still complete rubbish!
But remember what Plague said, it doesn't matter how good you are, there's still someone younger and better than you. Never be satisfied with your work, there's alwaw room for improvement, and if don't like , don't be afraid to start over. It's not waisted time.

It isnw waisted
Click to expand...

Well, now that gets me motivated.

I can take comfort that I am a lot better then I was before, three years ago. So there is always that.
 
N

Nova Bovington

Member
360pages said:
D-don't worry not a lot of you are super into writing. I wouldn't dare show this to writing gaf. They would break my back and suplex me into a burning building. That's why I wanted to edit it and get other peoples thoughts on it before I show them it.
Click to expand...

I'm actually super into writing, but it's one of those things that 'I'll get around to again someday."
I'll tear you a new asshole.
:p

Anyway, I've read the first chapter and it's pretty cool so far. It's a concept you don't see often in traditional (western)writing and it would make for a cool young adult novel, imo.
The biggest flaw I saw was that it's overly descriptive. The Neverending Story teaches us that every reader is essentially reading his own, slightly unique story as he is left to fill in the blanks with his own imagination, making the whole experience that much more personal as well and you leave little room for that.

I'm going to butcher what you actually wrote here for the sake of example, sorry.
You wrote:
'The black haired teen woke up in his plain, unimaginative room full of gaming stuff and raised half of his body out of his bed before casting aside the black covers.'
Not only did this nothing to advance the story, it tells us nothing about the character himself. All it does is mess with the flow of the story and the reader essentially ends up working his way through the book form of his aunt Helen describing her trip to Amsterdam. 'Oh it was so nice! We went to Dam Square and there was a fair there.

An example of how you could've written that:
'Still drunk with sleep, the boy stumbled his way across his room as he set off on his daily routine. "I wonder when I'll find the time to tidy this place up" he pondered to nobody in particular. "Oh well. It's no hurry. Besides, it isn't bothering anyone else."
Now, I know I'm no Stephen King, but I'm just trying to make a point. The way that sentence is writte not only tells you a bit about the envirionment without spelling out every detail, but you also learn that the character is lazy, a bit of a slob and how he thinks as well.

Sorry if that came off as harsh, because I really did quite liked what I read. You did a good job of setting up the story and I'm actually pretty interested to see where it goes from here, which you could argue is pretty damn important. I'll probably end up reading the rest as well. So keep up the good work, man. As long as you cut down on the details a bit (not that there should be none at all, of course) I'm sure you'll turn into a fine writer.
 
3

360pages

Member
Nova Bovington said:
I'm actually super into writing, but it's one of those things that 'I'll get around to again someday."
I'll tear you a new asshole.
:p

Anyway, I've read the first chapter and it's pretty cool so far. It's a concept you don't see often in traditional (western)writing and it would make for a cool young adult novel, imo.
The biggest flaw I saw was that it's overly descriptive. The Neverending Story teaches us that every reader is essentially reading his own, slightly unique story as he is left to fill in the blanks with his own imagination, making the whole experience that much more personal as well and you leave little room for that.

I'm going to butcher what you actually wrote here for the sake of example, sorry.
You wrote:
'The black haired teen woke up in his plain, unimaginative room full of gaming stuff and raised half of his body out of his bed before casting aside the black covers.'
Not only did this nothing to advance the story, it tells us nothing about the character himself. All it does is mess with the flow of the story and the reader essentially ends up working his way through the book form of his aunt Helen describing her trip to Amsterdam. 'Oh it was so nice! We went to Dam Square and there was a fair there.

An example of how you could've written that:
'Still drunk with sleep, the boy stumbled his way across his room as he set off on his daily routine. "I wonder when I'll find the time to tidy this place up" he pondered to nobody in particular. "Oh well. It's no hurry. Besides, it isn't bothering anyone else."
Now, I know I'm no Stephen King, but I'm just trying to make a point. The way that sentence is writte not only tells you a bit about the envirionment without spelling out every detail, but you also learn that the character is lazy, a bit of a slob and how he thinks as well.

Sorry if that came off as harsh, because I really did quite liked what I read. You did a good job of setting up the story and I'm actually pretty interested to see where it goes from here, which you could argue is pretty damn important. I'll probably end up reading the rest as well. So keep up the good work, man. As long as you cut down on the details a bit (not that there should be none at all, of course) I'm sure you'll turn into a fine writer.
Click to expand...

Details has always been a point for me, either too much or too little. Though a large sum of the time, I'm kind of buffering my word count. Though I can really see how I can cut down on some of the fluff.
 
D

DAREALGUMMY

Member
lisa-braces-scary.jpg
Click to expand...
What have I done?
 
B

BumblebeeCody

Member
Catching up on this years Shitstorm of Scariness. It's like watching 2 DSPs fighting over the controller whilst they both try to operate it at the same time.

AngryCanadian said:
Pat as Pumkinhead because fuck you. Stolen form the reddit, as usual
VykLVJp.png



FUCK if I had waited a few more seconds I could have made a nevermind that shit, here comes Mongo joke
Click to expand...

The detail on the teeth. DAMN!
 
A

Archgan

Member
Having listened to Gummy's version, I think I can say that my singing was the worst. I don't even think my recording made it in.
 
A

Aaron-Lagann

Banned
zedreamcast said:
NGE episode 9
wow do i not like Asuka, this felt like another really anime episode. Like from the tone series had set up to this episode it feels really weird seeing whole episode be light hearted when before the episodes had light hearted moments but not this much. i dont hate it, it just feels weird ya know?
I mean i liked the dance sequence at the very end. It was cool and the red hot kick was sick
i found the kaji x misato thing pretty cute and find it interesring for a pprofesional relationship
but Asuka annoys the hell out of me. Like the whole talk of "oh you ruined my japanese debut" and junk really irked me cause im ok with that kind of stuff when like Kamina do boisterous things in the middle of battle but when shes fighting with people like Shinji and Rei who are rather serious and no nonsense it just feels out of place.
Click to expand...

It's so fascinating seeing the exact same opinions shared among people. I really wanna see how your opinions differ from mine and others.

When you finish the series and EoE, share your thoughts, then a couple days later share them again. They're always different the second time after it sat for awhile.
 
A

Aaron-Lagann

Banned
Struck out at the bar, but watching Bug Island pt.4 I found the subject for my next adult novel.

Lizard women X human women in some freaky deaky love slavery.

2drunk2careaboutlewdness
 
R

RecursiveFault

Banned
DAREALGUMMY said:
What have I done?
Click to expand...
Should've thrown a few of the cut people in during Beloved's part, but hey- thanks for this. This is more listenable, if only everyone was in there a bit more.

I didn't recognize myself, if I am.
Edit: This reads way more dissmissive than I meant. Oh geez. I'm really glad you put the effort into doing that version! It's... Pretty good.
 
R

RecursiveFault

Banned
PfantzyPantz said:
Reminds me of how I played Hotline on PC with the controller. I only found out that you had a lock-on button after I finished the game.

Lock-on is babby mode and so is using KB/M. Be a man and use the wonky control stick aiming and miss 50% of the time- it makes it more exciting.
Click to expand...
Whoa, whoa hold on. Hotline Miami had a lock on?

The hell...
 
D

DAREALGUMMY

Member
sorry guys. I tried to put every one in as much as possible but it was either very low with tons of hiss or too close to the Mic. I did put people in Snake Eater parts. I'm up way too early for what I slept so back to bed. Lewdness is coming is all I can promise to make up for it.
 
R

RecursiveFault

Banned
Jamie OD said:
Yeah, the tutorial mentions it.
Click to expand...
Seriously? Did that change with a patch? I know about aiming, but I had no idea about lock on., apparently it's middle mouse button!?
You probably get more points being reckless and not using it though.
DAREALGUMMY said:
sorry guys. I tried to put every one in as much as possible but it was either very low with tons of hiss or too close to the Mic. I did put people in Snake Eater parts. I'm up way too early for what I slept so back to bed. Lewdness is coming is all I can promise to make up for it.
Click to expand...
It's fine, thanks for doing it, it was cool. Also, you've now glued me to the thread.
 
C

croten

Member
Mrgoodwil said:
Seriously? Did that change with a patch? I know about aiming, but I had no idea about lock on., apparently it's middle mouse button!?
You probably get more points being reckless and not using it though.

It's fine, thanks for doing it, it was cool. Also, you've now glued me to the thread.
Click to expand...

I think it was there from the start and there is no downside to using it.
 
R

RecursiveFault

Banned
croten said:
I think it was there from the start and there is no downside to using it.
Click to expand...
Seriously? Is it something he says but doesn't make you do? That could explain it I guess. Plus I took a huge break after I played the tutorial and then came back, and played 15 hours.

Man. Well thanks for the heads up I guess.
 
O

Oberon

Banned
So because of the Potato souls suspect LP I bought Ghost trick.
I am not that fare in, but all the character seem so funny and likable!
And the inspectors move

tumblr_lyzsy4Fr0k1qj7krj.gif


Oh yeah, look at this adorable dog

Missile_Ghost_Trick.jpg
 
R

RecursiveFault

Banned
Oberon said:
So because of the Potato souls suspect LP I bought Ghost trick.
I am not that fare in, but all the character seem so funny and likable!
And the inspectors move

tumblr_lyzsy4Fr0k1qj7krj.gif


Oh yeah, look at this adorable dog

Missile_Ghost_Trick.jpg
Click to expand...
Ghost Trick is pretty cool! It's a lot like the Ace attorney games, where it's main strength is story, but the actiony-puzzle gameplay is pretty interesting, albeit spaced out.

Everyone with a DS or iOS device can play it, the first episode is free on iOS too. Both versions are just dandy.
 
D

DoktorEvil

Banned
If the NBA was a lot like Kuroko no Basket, I think it'd be the biggest sport in the world.

Only 4 episodes in and even the mundane alley oop is hype.
 
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