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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already
- Thread starter gaiages
- Start date
- Status
OK, but seeing someone else.
LucidMomentum
Member
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
Uh so how often does asking for a break lead to a breakup vs leading to emotional catharsis and getting back together stronger than ever...
efyu_lemonardo
May I have a cookie?
I'd say 50-50 split
always crazy bacon
Banned
Depends on the break, you've not been dating her long so I'd say in your case not very often. Did you ask for the break or her?
I've never been with a Kiwi but I've experienced my fair share of aussies. They are the best. Don't let her get away. My first love was a beautiful long haired green eyed Aussie girl. I think she ruined all girls for me after that, maybe why I've never settled down. My other aussies were also pretty special though. Something in the water down there I guess.
Oh man, I recall you were really into this girl. That sucks man.
Ray Wonder
Founder of the Wounded Tagless Children
Hey thanks!
Coulda swore there was no such thing as "out of my league". 🤔
the breakup rate is very high, imo.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
Depends on the reason for the "break" but usually it leads to a breakup.
If it's early, it might be a significant disagreement and/or the loss of the initial "relationship high". In that case, there isn't much you can do about that.
If it's early, it might be a significant disagreement and/or the loss of the initial "relationship high". In that case, there isn't much you can do about that.
RobertRaviolli
Member
About 6 months ago, when I started college,I met a classmate who i thought was cute but nothing else. The thing is that the more I talked to her the more we became friends and,as I spent more time knowing her,I ended up developing feelings for her.
So GAF, the situation is this: I'm afraid that if I tell her what my feelings are I'll make things weird between us and end up fucking our friendship, losing her as a friend in the process.
Maybe I'm overthinking this too much but any advice about my situation would be perfect.
So GAF, the situation is this: I'm afraid that if I tell her what my feelings are I'll make things weird between us and end up fucking our friendship, losing her as a friend in the process.
Maybe I'm overthinking this too much but any advice about my situation would be perfect.
Ray Wonder
Founder of the Wounded Tagless Children
Just ask her out already
Agree. But bear in mind that you might already be gone too far into friendzone.
If two people were really attracted to each other and hanging out a lot then something would have happened - the fact that it hasn't could suggest she doesn't feel the same way.
That said, you should still try. If it goes badly, move on and don't remain friends
Ray Wonder
Founder of the Wounded Tagless Children
Or since they get along so well, she's a romantically nervous person just like him. Idk
I've burnt good friendships before on that. I've found it's not worth it. You either need to come out swinging soon after you meet the girl or just accept that you've made a friend and look elsewhere for romance.
Although the last time i tried that it was because i ran into someone i knew on OKCupid and learned we had more in common than i thought, which was why i was gripped by that particular burst of stupidity.
Although the last time i tried that it was because i ran into someone i knew on OKCupid and learned we had more in common than i thought, which was why i was gripped by that particular burst of stupidity.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
She did
I should have seen the red flags earlier. Thing is, we get along great. Similar sense of humor, great physical chemistry, we talk all the time, but there are things that she says that just undermines my confidence in there being a relationship.
She'd mentioned earlier she takes a long time to trust. Fair enough. But the constant self-doubt nagged me. She'd mentioned a bunch that she gets bored easily. She mentioned that she felt something was missing between us. She's said things that would undermine my confidence in there being a long-term relationship but then walk them back after she had some time to cool down.
I kept pushing on, cause I like her a lot, and she said she likes me. But the other night it was basically just... she mentioned again that she gets bored easily. And I said "I'm waiting for the day when you get bored of me."
And everything just spiraled from there. And I just told her that I got tired of being jerked around and not knowing if we're compatible for a relationship or not. It's been two months, and I was at the point where I was willing to commit to something more than just dating if she was in too, but she was always being one foot in one foot out. I told her that I can't wait around forever for her to decide.
She admitted that she messed up and hurt me and then asked for "a break" to get her mental/emotional health better. I haven't talked to her since. She said she wanted to give this a try, but I dunno. Too much drama. And she's aware of it too! She said she regretted causing the drama, but seriously, I can't do it if this is how she'll act.
She admitted to me before about her low self esteem and issues, but I've dealt with that before in my family, so honestly, it didn't bother me much. I can handle someone who's a bit high maintenance and prone to drama. The problem is that after two months of constant talk and dating and getting to know each other, she still doesn't trust me enough to be honest whether she wants a relationship or not. I dunno, I'm still feeling a bit raw over this, so my thoughts are a bit scattered.
That's the beauty of London I suppose!
As for Mono once you've had it the chances of having it again are incredibly slim, thankfully.
It'll forever be in my body (and apparently the majority of the population), but it'll just lay dormant unless you're unlucky enough to have it again.
I really hope I've not jinxed things...
Good to know!
It should be a fun few days.
rocketskates
Member
Talking to a girl I met on Tinder who had a Glassjaw song as her Spotify song.
Feels good man.
Feels good man.
LucidMomentum
Member
One day someone will notice I put "Making the Most of the Night" by Carly Rae Jespen as my song and then we'll be perfect for each other.
Krauser Kat
Member
i have Girl 1 who i went on 3 dates with and have slept with. Is cute and pretty smart but we have totally different pop culture reference points so most of my comments miss.
Girl 2 i have been on an amazing first date and have a 2nd scheduled.
I like girl 1 but i dont want to lead her on and she is pushing for a 4th date real hard, which is nice but i want to keep them even on the amount of time i spent.
Girl 2 i have been on an amazing first date and have a 2nd scheduled.
I like girl 1 but i dont want to lead her on and she is pushing for a 4th date real hard, which is nice but i want to keep them even on the amount of time i spent.
always crazy bacon
Banned
She did
I should have seen the red flags earlier. Thing is, we get along great. Similar sense of humor, great physical chemistry, we talk all the time, but there are things that she says that just undermines my confidence in there being a relationship.
She'd mentioned earlier she takes a long time to trust. Fair enough. But the constant self-doubt nagged me. She'd mentioned a bunch that she gets bored easily. She mentioned that she felt something was missing between us. She's said things that would undermine my confidence in there being a long-term relationship but then walk them back after she had some time to cool down.
I kept pushing on, cause I like her a lot, and she said she likes me. But the other night it was basically just... she mentioned again that she gets bored easily. And I said "I'm waiting for the day when you get bored of me."
And everything just spiraled from there. And I just told her that I got tired of being jerked around and not knowing if we're compatible for a relationship or not. It's been two months, and I was at the point where I was willing to commit to something more than just dating if she was in too, but she was always being one foot in one foot out. I told her that I can't wait around forever for her to decide.
She admitted that she messed up and hurt me and then asked for "a break" to get her mental/emotional health better. I haven't talked to her since. She said she wanted to give this a try, but I dunno. Too much drama. And she's aware of it too! She said she regretted causing the drama, but seriously, I can't do it if this is how she'll act.
She admitted to me before about her low self esteem and issues, but I've dealt with that before in my family, so honestly, it didn't bother me much. I can handle someone who's a bit high maintenance and prone to drama. The problem is that after two months of constant talk and dating and getting to know each other, she still doesn't trust me enough to be honest whether she wants a relationship or not. I dunno, I'm still feeling a bit raw over this, so my thoughts are a bit scattered.
Let her go, she's only putting you in a holding pattern so that when she does not find someone better she'll come crawling back to you. She does not want to be in a relationship but she does not want to be single either. NTGYK, you've found one girl that suited you, now have the confidence that there are many more out there. This is your learning curve, it's not you it really is her.
DeathoftheEndless
Crashing this plane... with no survivors!
Someone that won't commit to a relationship just isn't that into you.
She did
I should have seen the red flags earlier. Thing is, we get along great. Similar sense of humor, great physical chemistry, we talk all the time, but there are things that she says that just undermines my confidence in there being a relationship.
She'd mentioned earlier she takes a long time to trust. Fair enough. But the constant self-doubt nagged me. She'd mentioned a bunch that she gets bored easily. She mentioned that she felt something was missing between us. She's said things that would undermine my confidence in there being a long-term relationship but then walk them back after she had some time to cool down.
I kept pushing on, cause I like her a lot, and she said she likes me. But the other night it was basically just... she mentioned again that she gets bored easily. And I said "I'm waiting for the day when you get bored of me."
And everything just spiraled from there. And I just told her that I got tired of being jerked around and not knowing if we're compatible for a relationship or not. It's been two months, and I was at the point where I was willing to commit to something more than just dating if she was in too, but she was always being one foot in one foot out. I told her that I can't wait around forever for her to decide.
She admitted that she messed up and hurt me and then asked for "a break" to get her mental/emotional health better. I haven't talked to her since. She said she wanted to give this a try, but I dunno. Too much drama. And she's aware of it too! She said she regretted causing the drama, but seriously, I can't do it if this is how she'll act.
She admitted to me before about her low self esteem and issues, but I've dealt with that before in my family, so honestly, it didn't bother me much. I can handle someone who's a bit high maintenance and prone to drama. The problem is that after two months of constant talk and dating and getting to know each other, she still doesn't trust me enough to be honest whether she wants a relationship or not. I dunno, I'm still feeling a bit raw over this, so my thoughts are a bit scattered.
The bolded will never change. As someone who has been on both sides (the one with the missing feelings and the one dating someone with the missing feelings) if this has been going on for two months with no change, then there will never be a change. Let her go. Find someone who is all in on you.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
LucidMomentum
Member
Genuinely feel like I was doing better on OKC back in 2015. Different circumstances (Pittsburgh instead of DC, i was in grad school instead of out in the working world), not sure what changed, unless chicks liked the profile picture of me in a suit better than what i'm doing presently.
Do y'all think professional photos would be worth it? It's really something i'm bad about, not that i haven't done anything fun and post-worthy in my adult life, far from it, I'm just very take-it-or-leave-it about having my picture taken. Don't care either way, leading to a dearth of photos.
Do y'all think professional photos would be worth it? It's really something i'm bad about, not that i haven't done anything fun and post-worthy in my adult life, far from it, I'm just very take-it-or-leave-it about having my picture taken. Don't care either way, leading to a dearth of photos.
ZackieChan
Member
Don't get professional photos. Do something fun and interesting. And photograph it.
Moose Biscuits
It would be extreamly painful...
What if you don't do anything fun and interesting though (I mean, videogames are both, but I understand some people feel differently)
I don't know. I installed Tinder a few weeks ago but I haven't turned on discovery or started swiping yet. Maybe just worried about rejection or just lazy, just seems like there's a lot of effort involved in order to get to a place where a woman will let me touch her butt
I don't know. I installed Tinder a few weeks ago but I haven't turned on discovery or started swiping yet. Maybe just worried about rejection or just lazy, just seems like there's a lot of effort involved in order to get to a place where a woman will let me touch her butt
Ray Wonder
Founder of the Wounded Tagless Children
Then the overwhelming majority of women are not going to be interested in you.
What are your pictures now? Suits are pretty attractive provided they fit well lol
That's the thing, when i'm doing something interesting i'm usually, well, interested enough that i don't think to take a picture. That and my phone camera is ass in low lighting, so there's the crapshoot of "did i remember to bring my Nikon?"
Just something i'll have to look out for in the future, I guess.
Edit: My current profile is just a selfie of me in a nice sweater (not a literal selfie, used the camera-timer and put myself in frame, looking off to the side because i've read that men aren't supposed to smile in these). On Bumble i've got one from my 2015 Halloween getup, which was just me in a suit with two ties. It's actually a pretty good photo, beer in hand and all in a nice bar with folks in the background, though smiling, and the two ties just look off-putting if you don't get the Back to the Future Part II reference. I've got a few photos from my grad school's gala (all suit), one of me with a mannequin of Alice Cooper (from a concert), and one of me holding this giant-ass cucumber that i grew in my garden last summer.
It's not a terrible selection for people who are flipping through, but given that you live and die off of the main profile picture, i don't have something that really sings for that.
Moose Biscuits
It would be extreamly painful...
Well, dang. Probably not worth trying then, eh.
Ray Wonder
Founder of the Wounded Tagless Children
Nah, you can find someone like you. If all you do is play video games though, then that's probably where you'll find her. Go to a convention, a gaming event, something. Just get out and do something. You're not going to be able post a picture of you sitting in front of your TV playing games and get very many, if any, women interested.
Messofanego
Banned
She did
I should have seen the red flags earlier. Thing is, we get along great. Similar sense of humor, great physical chemistry, we talk all the time, but there are things that she says that just undermines my confidence in there being a relationship.
She'd mentioned earlier she takes a long time to trust. Fair enough. But the constant self-doubt nagged me. She'd mentioned a bunch that she gets bored easily. She mentioned that she felt something was missing between us. She's said things that would undermine my confidence in there being a long-term relationship but then walk them back after she had some time to cool down.
I kept pushing on, cause I like her a lot, and she said she likes me. But the other night it was basically just... she mentioned again that she gets bored easily. And I said "I'm waiting for the day when you get bored of me."
And everything just spiraled from there. And I just told her that I got tired of being jerked around and not knowing if we're compatible for a relationship or not. It's been two months, and I was at the point where I was willing to commit to something more than just dating if she was in too, but she was always being one foot in one foot out. I told her that I can't wait around forever for her to decide.
She admitted that she messed up and hurt me and then asked for "a break" to get her mental/emotional health better. I haven't talked to her since. She said she wanted to give this a try, but I dunno. Too much drama. And she's aware of it too! She said she regretted causing the drama, but seriously, I can't do it if this is how she'll act.
She admitted to me before about her low self esteem and issues, but I've dealt with that before in my family, so honestly, it didn't bother me much. I can handle someone who's a bit high maintenance and prone to drama. The problem is that after two months of constant talk and dating and getting to know each other, she still doesn't trust me enough to be honest whether she wants a relationship or not. I dunno, I'm still feeling a bit raw over this, so my thoughts are a bit scattered.
Oh man, that line is straight out of a romance movie! Damn, sucks to hear she had her own issues, you deserve better.
although hilarious, and I legit laughed, this shouldn't be your attitude.
There's no point in having tinder and not putting yourself out there. You are guaranteed to be rejected by most woman, you just have to know that going in. Think of it in terms of stats - if you swipe 100 girls you might match 10, you might get responses from 5, you might actually meet two. You just have to keep at it until you meet the two, and if they don't work you try it all over again
Moose Biscuits
It would be extreamly painful...
I'm glad you laughed but I was being serious. I may not really have much more a couple of friends, but really that's enough for me. I'm not really interested in a long term relationship, it seems like a lot of compromise and argument. The only appeal is the intimacy thing (aka the aforementioned touching of the butt)
And the thing you described sounds like a serious lot of effort. The only reason I still have it installed is that my friend told me to do it; and I'd feel bad telling him I couldn't be bothered.
I will eventually try, but I'll have to wait until I'm drunk and horny enough, neither of those yet right now.
Ray Wonder
Founder of the Wounded Tagless Children
Have you ever been in a relationship?
Get your thyroid checked or something, you seem so low energy lol.
It's like Pokemon Go disadvantages all over again
Lone_Prodigy
Member
No one notices because it's not "All That".
Moose Biscuits
It would be extreamly painful...
Nah, never, at age 26 though I've been told that's perfectly fine. I'm just lazy.
Prof photos aren't necessary. You have any friends that you feel comfortable telling what you need? Maybe a friend who's a girl and you can ask for a good pic for online dating? It's really not embarrassing at all to be online dating and your friend would probably be flattered you asked.
As for your profile you posted earlier: is it absolutely necessary that the girl you date be a gamer? If not, don't mention video games at all. Seriously. I know the thought is probably "I play a lot of games and she should know this up-front" but if you find someone you care about then you'll be spending your time with her and games will fill in the blanks like Netflix (or games!) will for her. At the same time, the most adventurous thing you said in your profile was exploring the park behind your house. If I was browsing the profile I'd probably think the implication was that you got home from work during the weekdays and stayed in, ditto for weekends. Is there anything you'd envision you wanna go out and do with a girlfriend? Mention that, as in, "I love camping close to beaches. Sun by day, smores by night." It doesnt matter if you've done that like once or twice in your life, if it sounds exciting and you actually like doing it then mention that.
Try to talk about things you're doing, not want to do. Get a couple herb plants and just stick em out on your balcony, boom now you have an herb garden instead of thinking about doing one. Go to any craft beer festivals or anything? Talk about a specific one instead of trying to find your taste. If you find most things are things you want to do instead of actually do, then work on converting the former to the latter and then start dating. Also, you've got some dry humor but I would try a couple more actual jokes to support your "trying to find the humor in things." The thinking about section is typically a good place to do this and yours has a lot of info you mentioned earlier in your profile anyway so I'd rework that.
You could try diversifying yourself as a human being! It has a nice side effect of you generally having more fun in life too, it's a nice win-win!
You sound like my roommate, to which I just say ¯\_(ツ
_/¯. Can't help someone that doesn't want to help themselves. You're not going to meet anyone at all just sitting at home and not using any resources.I hope at the very least you bathe, unlike him.
artsi
Member
She's been busy with the baby so no date yet, but still talking with this single mom.
There's plenty of other matches too but honestly I'm pretty burnt out with Tinder, I'll look these few cards I have on the table and then fold. Take a break and return in a few weeks.
Maybe I'll grow hair again and see how if affects my game, lol.
There's plenty of other matches too but honestly I'm pretty burnt out with Tinder, I'll look these few cards I have on the table and then fold. Take a break and return in a few weeks.
Maybe I'll grow hair again and see how if affects my game, lol.
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