Support NeoGAF

[M52B28]

Should I have taken my co-worker up on the bar tonight?

She walked up to me pretty fast while I was working and told me that we should go to the bar after work.

Kind of random thing to ask, especially after talking to her about the classes I'm taking and it being a Sunday evebing. It kind of surprised me because that was the last thing I expected to hear from her.

So, I declined her offer despite her trying to convince me. I said that I have a lot of things to do and have to go to school tomorrow, etc.

Eh, would any of you would have taken it up?

 

[JDHarbs]

I'm going to take a break from online dating for awhile. What are some good places to meet people other than bars or clubs? I don't drink or dance.

 

[GK86]

Should I have taken my co-worker up on the bar tonight?

She walked up to me pretty fast while I was working and told me that we should go to the bar after work.

Kind of random thing to ask, especially after talking to her about the classes I'm taking and it being a Sunday evebing. It kind of surprised me because that was the last thing I expected to hear from her.

So, I declined her offer despite her trying to convince me. I said that I have a lot of things to do and have to go to school tomorrow, etc.

Eh, would any of you would have taken it up?

Do you like her? Want to date her?

If you didn't want to grab a drink at the moment, should have suggested you two grab a drink next weekend.

I'm going to take a break from online dating for awhile. What are some good places to meet people other than bars or clubs? I don't drink or dance.

Clubs (like book or movie type of clubs), meet-ups, volunteer work.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

Should I have taken my co-worker up on the bar tonight?

She walked up to me pretty fast while I was working and told me that we should go to the bar after work.

Kind of random thing to ask, especially after talking to her about the classes I'm taking and it being a Sunday evebing. It kind of surprised me because that was the last thing I expected to hear from her.

So, I declined her offer despite her trying to convince me. I said that I have a lot of things to do and have to go to school tomorrow, etc.

Eh, would any of you would have taken it up?

I dunno, I woulda gone. Coulda been fun.

 

[MattyG]

The old thread is gone, so I guess the old MattyG who hung back for weeks and weeks needs to die too. So here's this dumb story of something that happened this weekend that I'm curious for all your thoughts on;

So I've been talking to this girl this weekend and we hit it off quite a bit. I knew her in passing through mutual friends last semester, but we just actually met on Friday. I've never really had a girl throw herself at me like she has, so I was like "cool, let's make this happen." Welp, stupid me, I forgot that someone else I know was going to be staying with me this weekend, and he used to have a thing with her. He also has this thing that he does (that all our friends know about and have called him on) where he's the nicest person ever to your face but a super skeevy bastard who treats girls he's into like they're his property behind your back.

So basically the whole time I'm getting to know this girl, he finally realizes what's going on and thinks that I'm... I don't fucking know "moving in on his territory" or something? So he starts texting her constantly and then eventually PROPOSED A THREESOME BETWEEN US. I got a message from her and she was like "so an idea has come up, and I don't know how you'll feel about it..." and I was like

I probably wouldn't have said yes at all no matter who it was, but I knew that because the suggestion was coming from him that he just knew he could sleep with her if he included someone that she wanted as well, and I wasn't up for a) my first time having sex being a threesome and b) being a means to an end for him in that situation. So I got kind of pissed at him and everybody there started to figure out what was going on because they'd seen us together all weekend and know what this dude's like. But I talked to her and even she seemed kind of uneasy about the whole thing and everything seems fine between us two (hopefully).

So now I'm just idly texting her and keeping in contact until we can see each other again without him around. I really like her but I don't know if she's going to lose interest in me after this or what. So yeah, it was a fucking weird weekend but I'm hoping that I can keep talking to her and get past it. But I'm also not going to do what I did with that girl last year and fixate on her, so I guess we'll see where this goes.

But I wanted to ask, what would you have done? Was it stupid of me to get upset about him proposing that and her asking me, or was it justified? Everybody else seemed upset at him when they realized what was going on, but I don't know if that's just because of my friend group or if that would be the universal reaction. And how should I approach this whole thing from now on with her? We already talked about it, and if she's gonna do anything with him and stop talking to me that's her choice, so I guess I don't have many options. Just act like nothing happened, I guess?

 

[NIGHT-]

Sigh. Day one of a 3 week work trip and me and my fellow coworkers have made it to the motel. Hearing everyone talk about going to their rooms to talk/skype with their spouses makes me feel extremely lonely. I really want to reach out to my ex, but I know I'm the last thing that crosses her mind anymore. I know I'll get past this.. It just sucks

 

[M52B28]

Do you like her? Want to date her?

If you didn't want to grab a drink at the moment, should have suggested you two grab a drink next weekend

I detached any attempts of her making any advancement, but I like her personality. She's easy to talk to, goofy, just nice to be around, but I don't think I'm interested in anything, especially since she works with me.

I think she's also a bit older than me.

I did mention after clocking out that if it were a Friday or Saturday, I would have done it. The bar she mentioned is supposedly really good from what reviews said.

Also, she just got a new job, so she may be leaving eventually.

 

[Salamando]

But I wanted to ask, what would you have done? Was it stupid of me to get upset about him proposing that and her asking me, or was it justified? Everybody else seemed upset at him when they realized what was going on, but I don't know if that's just because of my friend group or if that would be the universal reaction. And how should I approach this whole thing from now on with her? We already talked about it, and if she's gonna do anything with him and stop talking to me that's her choice, so I guess I don't have many options. Just act like nothing happened, I guess?

You're justified in getting pissed off. Your friend is willing to fuck over your efforts to get with this girl just to satisfy his own lusts.

With her? Ask her out, on a date. If she's willing to have a threesome with you, she's willing to have regular sex. If your "friend" keeps interfering (not necessarily with this girl, but others as well), consider dropping him from your friend group.

 

[MattyG]

You're justified in getting pissed off. Your friend is willing to fuck over your efforts to get with this girl just to satisfy his own lusts.

With her? Ask her out, on a date. If she's willing to have a threesome with you, she's willing to have regular sex. If your "friend" keeps interfering (not necessarily with this girl, but others as well), consider dropping him from your friend group.

We already kind of came to that consensus last night. He was staying in our room, but my roommate was so pissed on my behalf and because this guy pulls similar shit with his girlfriend's sister, who's in a relationship, that we found an excuse to make him stay with someone else. I've already made it clear to everyone that I'm tired of the way he handles his relationships, and we obviously weren't really friends if he was willing to fuck me over at the drop of a hat, so I'm done with him. I'm not going to keep making excuses for the way he acts.

And I think you're right about her being okay with me. Apparently he originally proposed it as it just being anyone as a third, but she pushed for it to be me. And when we talked she said "I don't want you to think anything that I do or say is affected by him. I want you." So I think I'm good, I think my paranoia of "fuck, I turned her down and she's going to get bored of me" or something is just kicking in.

 

[ZackieChan]

I detached any attempts of her making any advancement, but I like her personality. She's easy to talk to, goofy, just nice to be around, but I don't think I'm interested in anything, especially since she works with me.

I think she's also a bit older than me.

I did mention after clocking out that if it were a Friday or Saturday, I would have done it. The bar she mentioned is supposedly really good from what reviews said.

Also, she just got a new job, so she may be leaving eventually.

Do you like her romantically? That's the real question.

You're justified in getting pissed off. Your friend is willing to fuck over your efforts to get with this girl just to satisfy his own lusts.

With her? Ask her out, on a date. If she's willing to have a threesome with you, she's willing to have regular sex. If your "friend" keeps interfering (not necessarily with this girl, but others as well), consider dropping him from your friend group.

That story is pretty weird. But this is correct. Ask the girl on a date, drop the dickhead friend.

This is how I act will all of Vern's girlfriends, btw.

 

[Valkerionseven]

So yesterday was fun. Lady who I mentioned before and I got to hang out and talk a good bit yesterday evening at a beach party. Local friends restaurant hosts a beach party at the end of summer and a bunch of people, including her came.

Was nice to just relax on the beach with music, go swimming and what not.

We got to talk and hang out a bit all afternoon and evening which was nice. Felt nice that instead of me asking her to do this or that she would tell me to come with her to just hang out on the roof and drink with her, walk around a bit. When I mentioned I wanted to go into the water one more time before we left she wanted to go, her friends who were there too were like "oh yeah sounds good lets go" then she plainly told them "sorry I just meant us" -woo-

Good day. Also sundress + bikini = anime nosebleed.

 

[MattyG]

That story is pretty weird. But this is correct. Ask the girl on a date, drop the dickhead friend.

This is how I act will all of Vern's girlfriends, btw.

It was super fucking weird. You know me, last year I didn't even attempt to talk to a girl for like 3 weeks. But this weekend was like "oh, I thought you were cute last year but I didn't know you okay now you're kissing me over and over and texting me and making very suggestive remarks and oh my god what, a threesome?"

Definitely an interesting experience.

 

[ZackieChan]

It was super fucking weird. You know me, last year I didn't even attempt to talk to a girl for like 3 weeks. But this weekend was like "oh, I thought you were cute last year but I didn't know you okay now you're kissing me over and over and texting me and making very suggestive remarks and oh my god what, a threesome?"

Definitely an interesting experience.

You kissed her?

My gut reaction is that a girl who's ready to have a threesome with you and your friend might be too much for you to handle...or just what you need.

 

[MattyG]

You kissed her?

My gut reaction is that a girl who's ready to have a threesome with you and your friend might be too much for you to handle...or just what you need.

Yeah. She made the first move. At first it was in a joking manner, but then the joke stopped and she kept doing it, like 4-5 times. That was friday, and then she did it again last night when we got done talking about the threesome. She seems to know that I don't know what I'm doing and wants to ease me into it, because she seems to want something to happen between us.

I'm just being cautious and am stuck in that paranoid space of "she's going to lose interest" or something like that. Don't want a repeat of last year, and I also don't want to get in over my head like you said and look like a fool.

 

[Salamando]

Yeah. She made the first move. At first it was in a joking manner, but then the joke stopped and she kept doing it, like 4-5 times. That was friday, and then she did it again last night when we got done talking about the threesome. She seems to know that I don't know what I'm doing and wants to ease me into it, because she seems to want something to happen between us.

I'm just being cautious and am stuck in that paranoid space of "she's going to lose interest" or something like that. Don't want a repeat of last year, and I also don't want to get in over my head like you said and look like a fool.

"I don't want you to think anything that I do or say is affected by him. I want you."

There is no seems here. As for as signals go, she lit the fucking beacons of Gondor.

 

[SeanC]

Kind of disappointing my text convo with this girl I met on Match fizzled out. She was super into it as of last weekend but had to "take a raincheck" on the date we had set up (but did share other info about herself and a little more chatting about each other after so I figured it was just a delay).

Week went by, I text again on Friday seeing what she was up to on the weekend and about getting together but nothing. I know she's busy, but c'mon.

Just odd how she was really into it at first, even took the initiative on a lot of "steps" if you will (contacted me first, gave her number and real name etc...I suggested the meetup/date/coffee and whatnot) then silence. That's twice now she's done that, so I'm thinking we're not all that compatible because I'm pretty direct and communicate frequently with people. Guess that's not a checkbox you can put in some online dating algorithm.

 

[ZackieChan]

There is no seems here. As for as signals go, she lit the fucking beacons of Gondor.

Yeah, but where was Gondor when the Westfold fell?

Spoiler

Never trust an elf

 

[Bruce Springsteen]

I'm going to take a break from online dating for awhile. What are some good places to meet people other than bars or clubs? I don't drink or dance.

Last two dates I went on I met them at local coffee shops

 

[NIGHT-]

Last two dates I went on I met them at local coffee shops

How did that go? Did you just approach them while they were studying/reading?

 

[M52B28]

Do you like her romantically? That's the real question.

I don't understand. And what I mean is that I've only known her as a colleague and as nothing else. I don't know enough about her to even suggest that I do.

 

[ZackieChan]

I don't understand. And what I mean is that I've only known her as a colleague and as nothing else. I don't know enough about her to even suggest that I do.

Do you think she's attractive, and when you look at her do you feel you want to kiss her or have sexual relations with her?

 

[Liquid_015]

Liquid, did you ever actually say the word date to her?

Yep! I did haha. Oh wells, that's ok! Shouldn't give up just yet - things may change with time.

 

[M52B28]

Do you think she's attractive, and when you look at her do you feel you want to kiss her or have sexual relations with her?

I don't really think so. I'm neutral on her looks. I can't say she's unattractive, but I can't say that I find her such.

Indifferent, so to say.

 

[Spinluck]

Kind of disappointing my text convo with this girl I met on Match fizzled out. She was super into it as of last weekend but had to "take a raincheck" on the date we had set up (but did share other info about herself and a little more chatting about each other after so I figured it was just a delay).

Week went by, I text again on Friday seeing what she was up to on the weekend and about getting together but nothing. I know she's busy, but c'mon.

Just odd how she was really into it at first, even took the initiative on a lot of "steps" if you will (contacted me first, gave her number and real name etc...I suggested the meetup/date/coffee and whatnot) then silence. That's twice now she's done that, so I'm thinking we're not all that compatible because I'm pretty direct and communicate frequently with people. Guess that's not a checkbox you can put in some online dating algorithm.

It really blows when you find someone that's actually fun to text (hard for me because I absolutely hate texting). Then shit like this happens.

With online dating, I'm just gonna assume from now on that the girls I'm talking always have a set number of guys they're texting or seeing. Which is fine, guys should probably do the same. But it's a numbers game, and they have a pretty good advantage in that aspect.

 

[Roufianos]

Do you guys think sex on the first date can harm the chances of a relationship? I matched with this girl on holiday in Cyprus but I didn't wanna meet here out there because I couldn't just ditch my friend for the day. I've been speaking to her for 9 days now for hours each day and she's coming to the UK this week as she goes to uni here.

Usually I get bored texting women but the convo here is really good. We both said we were looking for a relationship but sex came up and I asked if she'd fuck on the first date and she said she'd "so be down for it" if I was.

She's been saying how awkward she is though and that she doubts she'll be able to look me in the eye when we meet so I dunno how she expects sex to go well. I'm decent on first dates but I'm not gonna say I'm the smoothest guy in the world.

Like obviously there's no guarantees but I've had good relationships off Tinder with girls who I didn't get on with half as much as her prior to meeting. I'm just worried that it could be ruined by some very awkward sex.

 

[Denzar]

Do you guys think sex on the first date can harm the chances of a relationship? I matched with this girl on holiday in Cyprus but I didn't wanna meet here out there because I couldn't just ditch my friend for the day. I've been speaking to her for 9 days now for hours each day and she's coming to the UK this week as she goes to uni here.

Usually I get bored texting women but the convo here is really good. We both said we were looking for a relationship but sex came up and I asked if she'd fuck on the first date and she said she'd "so be down for it" if I was.

She's been saying how awkward she is though and that she doubts she'll be able to look me in the eye when we meet so I dunno how she expects sex to go well. I'm decent on first dates but I'm not gonna say I'm the smoothest guy in the world.

Like obviously there's no guarantees but I've had good relationships off Tinder with girls who I didn't get on with half as much as her prior to meeting. I'm just worried that it could be ruined by some very awkward sex.

Even though you two talked about looking for a relationship the first thing that popped in my mind was "wow, he didn't even go on the first date yet"... It puts pressure on yourself, and I think you are thinking too far ahead.

Either way, there's a big chance that the sex will be awkward, but that's normal, no? You can't possibly know what turns her on and vice versa if you haven't banged yet.


BTW, any other dating apps besides Tinder and TanTan you guys could recommend? Tinder has become savage. I had 3 matches the first day since my reset but when I wanted to talk to them 2 of them had already unmatched me the day after.

 

[hydrophilic attack]

Cute Russian girl doing a short term at my workplace. There's a party coming up this week and I wasn't planning on going, but apparently she is going and she asked me if I'm going too. So I guess I'll go to the party and see if I get a chance to make a move.

 

[gwailo]

Kind of disappointing my text convo with this girl I met on Match fizzled out. She was super into it as of last weekend but had to "take a raincheck" on the date we had set up (but did share other info about herself and a little more chatting about each other after so I figured it was just a delay).

Week went by, I text again on Friday seeing what she was up to on the weekend and about getting together but nothing. I know she's busy, but c'mon.

Just odd how she was really into it at first, even took the initiative on a lot of "steps" if you will (contacted me first, gave her number and real name etc...I suggested the meetup/date/coffee and whatnot) then silence. That's twice now she's done that, so I'm thinking we're not all that compatible because I'm pretty direct and communicate frequently with people. Guess that's not a checkbox you can put in some online dating algorithm.

This girl is a flake. It's common in online dating. A lot of people are happy to just keep things as chat friends since they like the attention/self esteem boost and will never actually go on a real date.

Just FYI, in general, you should not be chatting online for weeks. Get their number and/or set up a date as soon as possible. If they say "I need to get to know you" or "it's too soon" they are probably flakes that will never go out with you. If they cancel without immediately offering up an alternative time/place, most likely they are a flake and will never go out anyway, as this woman showed by cancelling twice. Don't waste any more time on her.

 

[ruxtpin]

Still getting through the divorce process with my ex-wife, but OKC has led to something new with a super great girl. Initially I couldn't tell if she was all that interested, but it was a gradual transition from drink meet-ups, to brunch, to proper dinner dates... I'm a southern boy, and think it works in my favor somewhat (her being from NYC); what I'm wondering is when is too soon to ask her to go on a weekend trip together?

 

[urge26]

This girl is a flake. It's common in online dating. A lot of people are happy to just keep things as chat friends since they like the attention/self esteem boost and will never actually go on a real date.

Just FYI, in general, you should not be chatting online for weeks. Get their number and/or set up a date as soon as possible. If they say "I need to get to know you" or "it's too soon" they are probably flakes that will never go out with you. If they cancel without immediately offering up an alternative time/place, most likely they are a flake and will never go out anyway, as this woman showed by cancelling twice. Don't waste any more time on her.

Agreed. This is beyond common on Match or any other online dating service. My guess is that she's juggling.

 

[gwailo]

Still getting through the divorce process with my ex-wife, but OKC has led to something new with a super great girl. Initially I couldn't tell if she was all that interested, but it was a gradual transition from drink meet-ups, to brunch, to proper dinner dates... I'm a southern boy, and think it works in my favor somewhat (her being from NYC); what I'm wondering is when is too soon to ask her to go on a weekend trip together?

No real set time - but how long have you been dating? Have you had sex and/or stayed at each other's places? Also depending on what you're planning, it has different connotations, for instance if you're thinking of going apple picking and antiquing and then staying at a B&B that is much more of a relationship marker than taking a road trip and sharing a hotel room together.

 

[SeanC]

This girl is a flake. It's common in online dating. A lot of people are happy to just keep things as chat friends since they like the attention/self esteem boost and will never actually go on a real date.

Just FYI, in general, you should not be chatting online for weeks. Get their number and/or set up a date as soon as possible. If they say "I need to get to know you" or "it's too soon" they are probably flakes that will never go out with you. If they cancel without immediately offering up an alternative time/place, most likely they are a flake and will never go out anyway, as this woman showed by cancelling twice. Don't waste any more time on her.

I set up the first date fairly quickly, though there was a delay when she was quiet for a while with a response but it was within the 7 day period of online chatting which eventually moved to text. But I'm out. If she wants to get together, she has my number. Otherwise, as mentioned above, I'm going to assume her attention is directed elsewhere and maybe to someone else.

A friend's girlfriend said the other night "Well, she's maybe too busy to get back to you." Anyone else hate that excuse as much as me? Really, how busy are you? I have a friend and he's "always busy" and I'm like..."you sit at a desk and work, maybe, three/four hours out of your eight hour day and watch Netflix/drink on the weekends. C'mon." It's one of those throw-away excuses people put out there and for whatever we all accept.

 

[ZackieChan]

I set up the first date fairly quickly, though there was a delay when she was quiet for a while with a response but it was within the 7 day period of online chatting which eventually moved to text. But I'm out. If she wants to get together, she has my number. Otherwise, as mentioned above, I'm going to assume her attention is directed elsewhere and maybe to someone else.

A friend's girlfriend said the other night "Well, she's maybe too busy to get back to you." Anyone else hate that excuse as much as me? Really, how busy are you? I have a friend and he's "always busy" and I'm like..."you sit at a desk and work, maybe, three/four hours out of your eight hour day and watch Netflix/drink on the weekends. C'mon." It's one of those throw-away excuses people put out there and for whatever we all accept.

Maybe if you've set up an expectation that every text leads to a long and involved conversation, they are hesitant to get one started and don't bother replying to you. If your text convos are light and are there to set up another date, that expectation isn't there. Might work better in the future.

Or she's just not that into you.

 

[urge26]

I set up the first date fairly quickly, though there was a delay when she was quiet for a while with a response but it was within the 7 day period of online chatting which eventually moved to text. But I'm out. If she wants to get together, she has my number. Otherwise, as mentioned above, I'm going to assume her attention is directed elsewhere and maybe to someone else.

A friend's girlfriend said the other night "Well, she's maybe too busy to get back to you." Anyone else hate that excuse as much as me? Really, how busy are you? I have a friend and he's "always busy" and I'm like..."you sit at a desk and work, maybe, three/four hours out of your eight hour day and watch Netflix/drink on the weekends. C'mon." It's one of those throw-away excuses people put out there and for whatever we all accept.

They're not busy. People will make time for you if they're either genuinely interested in meeting you or not talking to other people.

 

[ruxtpin]

No real set time - but how long have you been dating? Have you had sex and/or stayed at each other's places? Also depending on what you're planning, it has different connotations, for instance if you're thinking of going apple picking and antiquing and then staying at a B&B that is much more of a relationship marker than taking a road trip and sharing a hotel room together.

Probably about a little over a month. Started sleeping with each other a few days back and found excuses to meet up for repeats. She's crazy busy and I travel about 70% of the year, but assuming things continue to go well (I'm staying over at her place tomorrow), I was thinking that I might ask her to do an NYC trip with me in December... stay at a hotel, explore the city, etc. It's a ways off though, so I feel like given a couple of months of things continuing to go well would mean that me asking her to vacation with me would be a natural step.

 

[Kurtofan]

first date ideas? I have none...

 

[Jokab]

first date ideas? I have none...

It's in the OP bro.

 

[gwailo]

Probably about a little over a month. Started sleeping with each other a few days back and found excuses to meet up for repeats. She's crazy busy and I travel about 70% of the year, but assuming things continue to go well (I'm staying over at her place tomorrow), I was thinking that I might ask her to do an NYC trip with me in December... stay at a hotel, explore the city, etc. It's a ways off though, so I feel like given a couple of months of things continuing to go well would mean that me asking her to vacation with me would be a natural step.

Yeah, I would probably hold off for now. Maybe book stuff but make sure you can get a refund if needed. Ask her about it maybe sometime in November. You don't want to get into a situation where things go south and you're stuck taking a trip with her because one or both of you feels like they still have to go.

A friend's girlfriend said the other night "Well, she's maybe too busy to get back to you." Anyone else hate that excuse as much as me? Really, how busy are you? I have a friend and he's "always busy" and I'm like..."you sit at a desk and work, maybe, three/four hours out of your eight hour day and watch Netflix/drink on the weekends. C'mon." It's one of those throw-away excuses people put out there and for whatever we all accept.

Too busy is a BS excuse, especially when it comes to responding to a text. Ok, you don't need to reply right away but if you take days to reply to a text because you're "busy" that's BS. Either they're not interested and/or a flake who's terrible at time management. When me and my wife (who's a nurse) started dating, she was working floating 12 hour shifts and she still made time. As pointed out above, if people like you, they'll make time for you.

 

[Mediking]

The clumsy romantic fool known as me... has returned.

 

[ruxtpin]

Yeah, I would probably hold off for now. Maybe book stuff but make sure you can get a refund if needed. Ask her about it maybe sometime in November. You don't want to get into a situation where things go south and you're stuck taking a trip with her because one or both of you feels like they still have to go.

Yep. I'll keep just enjoying what's going on for now.

 

[Rked]

I was told to post on here by someone (cant remember the name sorry). Anyways, I'm 28 ,6'1, Squat close to 400 pounds. I can speak 2 languages fluently and currently learning Spanish. make close to 6 figures (ERP PM/BA). I shred hard on bass played in a grind band toured a bit. Ive never had a GF nor have I kissed. Not sure how that part of my life passed me by. I kept telling myself it will eventually happen but it never did. I Started going on dating sites & Tinder. Convos never got anywhere they died off or they flaked. It's gotten to the point where I stopped trying. Women expect people at my age to know what im doing but i really haven't got a clue.. anyways just here to vent.

 

[Azerare]

I was told to post on here by someone (cant remember the name sorry). Anyways, I'm 28 ,6'1, Squat close to 400 pounds. I can speak 2 languages fluently and currently learning Spanish. make close to 6 figures (ERP PM/BA). I shred hard on bass played in a grind band toured a bit. Ive never had a GF nor have I kissed. Not sure how that part of my life passed me by. I kept telling myself it will eventually happen but it never did. I Started going on dating sites & Tinder. Convos never got anywhere they died off or they flaked. It's gotten to the point where I stopped trying. Women expect people at my age to know what im doing but i really haven't got a clue.. anyways just here to vent.

You learn by just putting yourself out there. Just talk to people (Online isn't the best for inexperienced). You got everything else down, and social skills are just learned.

 

[Rked]

You learn by just putting yourself out there. Just talk to people (Online isn't the best for inexperienced). You got everything else down, and social skills are just learned.

That's the funny thing I'm very social. I'm a Project Manager I pretty much talk, run meetings, conference calls ect. That part just never connected its freaking odd.

 

[gwailo]

I was told to post on here by someone (cant remember the name sorry). Anyways, I'm 28 ,6'1, Squat close to 400 pounds. I can speak 2 languages fluently and currently learning Spanish. make close to 6 figures (ERP PM/BA). I shred hard on bass played in a grind band toured a bit. Ive never had a GF nor have I kissed. Not sure how that part of my life passed me by. I kept telling myself it will eventually happen but it never did. I Started going on dating sites & Tinder. Convos never got anywhere they died off or they flaked. It's gotten to the point where I stopped trying. Women expect people at my age to know what im doing but i really haven't got a clue.. anyways just here to vent.

Are you social at all outside of work? You seem to be involved in a lot of things, but they're stuff you're doing alone for the most part. Maybe try things that will put you in contact with women in less formal situations, like classes, sports, meetups, volunteer, etc.

 

[SeanC]

Maybe if you've set up an expectation that every text leads to a long and involved conversation, they are hesitant to get one started and don't bother replying to you. If your text convos are light and are there to set up another date, that expectation isn't there. Might work better in the future.

Or she's just not that into you.

They were all pretty light. I'm not asking for a conversation, I'd prefer not to have one and wanted to in person (if you text too much then you're out of shit to talk about when you meet up). I'd just expect a reply considering she was the one texting like crazy a week ago.

They're not busy. People will make time for you if they're either genuinely interested in meeting you or not talking to other people.

Yeah, I know. That's sort of what I mean, it's an excuse that we hear all the time but is 100% BS. I like directness, not made up excuses.

 

[ZackieChan]

That's the funny thing I'm very social. I'm a Project Manager I pretty much talk, run meetings, conference calls ect. That part just never connected its freaking odd.

Have your read the OP, by any chance? Tons of tips in there.

But just being social isn't enough. You need to be exuding sexuality. Otherwise you're just making friends.

They were all pretty light. I'm not asking for a conversation, I'd prefer not to have one and wanted to in person (if you text too much then you're out of shit to talk about when you meet up). I'd just expect a reply considering she was the one texting like crazy a week ago.



Yeah, I know. That's sort of what I mean, it's an excuse that we hear all the time but is 100% BS. I like directness, not made up excuses.

Yeah, must be the 2nd option. Move on, then.

And just because you like directness doesn't mean you're owed it. People deal wirh rejecting people in different ways. There was a thread full of nuts on here who were livid about being ghosted because they thought they were owed a final reply. Some people send horrible things when they are rejected. The way around that for most women is to just disappear.

Hell, we have a guy in here who just recently couldn't break things off with someone who he never even seemed to like, just because he didn't want to hurt her feelings. Happens on both sides of the spectrum.

 

[Rked]

Are you social at all outside of work? You seem to be involved in a lot of things, but they're stuff you're doing alone for the most part. Maybe try things that will put you in contact with women in less formal situations, like classes, sports, meetups, volunteer, etc.

Bars with my friends 80 percent of the time. Or playing random gigs/jamming with friends.

 

[Clay Davis]

Thank you everyone for the advice. I've deleted her number and removed her from Facebook too, she hasn't messaged since this morning, I suspect she noticed that I removed her from facebook, she hasn't blocked me on Whatsapp but that's something I'll be doing tonight.

Not sure where to go from here. This was one of the two girls I was talking to pre vacation, the one who would send really long messages, the other girl doesn't message a lot and warned me as much before we started to talk, I've sent her a hello and will wait to see what happens there.

Lastly, does anyone think it's a good idea to give my number to a girl in a shop I go into to get lunch almost every day? I think she's sending signals she might be interested although it's quite possible I'm probably misinterpreting her politeness for more, but it doesn't hurt to take a chance, does it? If she's not interested, I'll just have to accept it and not let it get in the way of me going there every day.

 

[Rked]

Have your read the OP, by any chance? Tons of tips in there.

But just being social isn't enough. You need to be exuding sexuality. Otherwise you're just making friends.



.

Fair point. Not sure how a guy exudes sexuality. I lift and play in a band. And no i didnt read the OP ill do that soon.

 

[Irnbru]

Dating gaf, I fucked up and need help. I talked with a girl on tinder last night. She's awesome, we agreed to go watch Patton on 70mm ( we both agreed movie dates for a first date suck... But it's Patton! ) on Wednesday.

PROBLEM. I have tickets to see the Zelda Concert at the same time with friends. Didn't remember I had tickets until this morning. Double booked myself fuuuuuu.

First date and Patton or Balcony Seats for Zelda Live?!?