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[Miles Quaritch]

Where's my rape whistle

Grab the mace.

This overly sensitive, PC gone mad culture is why people voted Trump.

Anyway, mace doesn't work on me any more. Built up immunity yo! Now tear gas, that shit is like sunlight to a vampire...I'm talking real vampires, not those glittery motherfuckers.

 

[animax]

Yeah, any good ones for the NYC area?

I find that you'll get slightly less but better quality interactions from Bumble.

So I would start with Bumble, then try Tinder. Don't bother with the rest, if you can't get anything across those two then you're probably being a bit too picky

 

[Leeness]

You underestimate the allure of telling a woman that you'll tickle her earlobes with your tongue and run your hand down the inside of her arm while using your other hand to massage the gap between where her back ends and her tight, firm ass begins.

🤢

 

[Messofanego]

Chicks dig my Margaret Atwood collection, consistent T-Swift repping, appreciation of shows like Jane the Virgin, and fawning over Ryan Gosling.

Is this that pop feminism I've heard about?

 

[Avixph]

Where's my rape whistle

.

 

[Xun]

I went back to the 2nd girls place on Friday and I'm meeting up with her again tonight.

She's 5' and I'm 6'1" so things were a bit difficult. I'm hoping it goes a bit better if anything happens again tonight though haha.

Well things thankfully worked out this time and we're meeting up again tomorrow night.

I appreciate the responses to this.

We're meeting up on Thursday now.

I was toying back and forth about meeting her (for the same reasons stated by people here), but I can always bail if she's insane so I'm going for it. It'll just be a bit of fun anyway, although I am still a tad apprehensive...

It never happened in the end.

I think I took too long to respond or she lost interest since she blocked me.

Oh well.

In other news I'm trying to arrange my schedule for next week since it looks like I have a date every night...

I really need to cut back since it's becoming pretty tiresome chatting to this many people! It also doesn't help I still continue to swipe on Tinder and Bumble as well, for whatever reason.

...what have I become?

 

[Leeness]

Feeling kind a kind of melancholy right now. My little sister is engaged and started looking at dresses today. She looked beautiful. So happy for her, and for my mom, who gets to be a mother of the bride. 🎉

Also feeling a lot of selfish anxiety though. One, because I will have to look for a dress at some point. Two, because even though I'd never get married, it's also like, I'll never have any kind of partner, so it kind of made me a bit depressed today. I don't know. I can't even make new friends 😂

</livejournal>

 

[vegohead]

The last two weeks have taught me how dense I am with women and that they don't have any responsibility to explain things to me in a way I understand. Also, sensitivity and composure are both things I lack and I plan on working on them in the near future.

Going to take things slow with whoever I see next.

 

[Avixph]

I find that you'll get slightly less but better quality interactions from Bumble.

So I would start with Bumble, then try Tinder. Don't bother with the rest, if you can't get anything across those two then you're probably being a bit too picky

Thanks. Also isn't Tinder full of bots?

 

[always crazy bacon]

Thanks. Also isn't Tinder full of bots?

How else do you think people are getting matches and dates? Fembots everywhere.

 

[Avixph]

How else do you think people are getting matches and dates? Fembots everywhere.

Hmmm.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

I tell you, the fembots you meet on tinder are the worst.

Take my wife (soon to be), she works and doesn't cook, she complains, she demands I do stuff with her and for her, she wants to cuddle, she wants me to bring her breakfast in bed and I'm like you're the damn robot, what the fuck...

They don't make fembots like they used to. I miss the good old days...

 

[Leeness]

Here, have a double dose of my funny for the morning.

&#128514;

 

[Salamando]

Coffee date with girl went ehhhh. We have tentative plans to go out next weekend, and the "tentative" thing has caused me to de-invest a bit. If she texts me back, we'll have some fun, if she doesn't, no big loss.

Here, have a double dose of my funny for the morning.

&#128514;

If, prior to meeting up with you, Zackiechan doesn't send a cringeworthy message that ends with "btdubs, I'm a world-travelling game lawyer", I will be sorely disappointed.

 

[sappyday]

I'm gonna go on a date with a chick that I've known since middle school. She apparently liked me back then and so did I but I was a scared little middle schooler to do anything (so was she I guess). The thing is she now has a kid and we're both in our early 20's. I like her but I'm not looking for anything that serious. I haven't met the kid but she said the kid wanted to come with us to watch the movie and I said go for it. But not sure what to do since I'm not great with little kids.

Anyone have some advice?

 

[ZackieChan]

If, prior to meeting up with you, Zackiechan doesn't send a cringeworthy message that ends with "btdubs, I'm a world-travelling game lawyer", I will be sorely disappointed.

I generally only hangout for cash

 

[Leeness]

I generally only hangout for cash

It's cool, I'll buy you poutine.

 

[ZackieChan]

It's cool, I'll buy you poutine.

Works for me

 

[Leeness]

Works for me

&#128076; it's the least I can do.

 

[gaiages]

I'm gonna go on a date with a chick that I've known since middle school. She apparently liked me back then and so did I but I was a scared little middle schooler to do anything (so was she I guess). The thing is she now has a kid and we're both in our early 20's. I like her but I'm not looking for anything that serious. I haven't met the kid but she said the kid wanted to come with us to watch the movie and I said go for it. But not sure what to do since I'm not great with little kids.

Anyone have some advice?

If you're not looking for anything serious, make sure to make that obvious. And if you don't want anything serious and have trouble with/don't really like kids, if she knows it's not serious she probably wouldn't involve the kid with anything else with you two... At least I hope she wouldn't, since that might give the kid some ideas.

If you don't feel comfortable with it, just break it off.

 

[artsi]

I let the older woman go, too little too slow and no signs that it's going to get better.

I've been hanging out with the other girl now, I'm afraid she's a bit too spontaneous for my taste but I've been having fun so why not.

 

[CreepingFear]

I'm gonna go on a date with a chick that I've known since middle school. She apparently liked me back then and so did I but I was a scared little middle schooler to do anything (so was she I guess). The thing is she now has a kid and we're both in our early 20's. I like her but I'm not looking for anything that serious. I haven't met the kid but she said the kid wanted to come with us to watch the movie and I said go for it. But not sure what to do since I'm not great with little kids.

Anyone have some advice?

 

[vern]

Here, have a double dose of my funny for the morning.



&#128514;

Hi,

I'm not handsome, have a shit job, no car, and no money. I believe we are the perfect match.

&#129300;

 

[War Peaceman]

Hi,

I'm not handsome, have a shit job, no car, and no money. I believe we are the perfect match.

&#129300;

"My name is George, I'm unemployed and I live with my parents."

 

[ZackieChan]

Hi,

I'm not handsome, have a shit job, no car, and no money. I believe we are the perfect match.

&#129300;

Cup size pls

 

[Ogodei]

"My name is George, I'm unemployed and I live with my parents."

I often feel like sending this message when i can't think of anything else to say. Someone who gets the reference at my age (since Seinfeld ended when i was 8) would be a keeper.

Might as well, got nothing to lose, although i missed the window for when sending it would've been true.

 

[Leeness]

Hi,

I'm not handsome, have a shit job, no car, and no money. I believe we are the perfect match.

&#129300;

How busty are you tho.

 

[ZackieChan]

How busty are you tho.

Dammit, I got it wrong

 

[B33]

Hah!

If you set the bar low, you can only go up from there, right?

 

[vern]

I often feel like sending this message when i can't think of anything else to say. Someone who gets the reference at my age (since Seinfeld ended when i was 8) would be a keeper.

Might as well, got nothing to lose, although i missed the window for when sending it would've been true.

I didn't get the reference. Goes to show why I can't make any relationships last.


Gonna reinstall tinder and tantan in a few days. See how a week in NYC treats me. Looking forward to striking out in N America again. I'm thankful to Leeness for those sweet first message templates.

 

[Leeness]

I didn't get the reference. Goes to show why I can't make any relationships last.


Gonna reinstall tinder and tantan in a few days. See how a week in NYC treats me. Looking forward to striking out in N America again. I'm thankful to Leeness for those sweet first message templates.

You are so welcome. I hope they serve you well.

 

[names2hard4you]

I'm gonna go on a date with a chick that I've known since middle school. She apparently liked me back then and so did I but I was a scared little middle schooler to do anything (so was she I guess). The thing is she now has a kid and we're both in our early 20's. I like her but I'm not looking for anything that serious. I haven't met the kid but she said the kid wanted to come with us to watch the movie and I said go for it. But not sure what to do since I'm not great with little kids.

Anyone have some advice?

Run if the kid calls you "dad".

 

[PhantomZone]

I have a friend that claims to be in a long distance relationship with someone. They've known each other for a year, decided to go a few steps forward months after meeting.

He's noticed inconsistency with a lot of things she has told him. My instant reaction was that she's a liar, if shes changed her story about something minor who knows how truthful she has really been since day one. But thats me as I'm used to people feeding me bullcrap.

They don't talk or text each other that often. Maybe one major call and a few text exchanges per week and when the texts happen its largely a one sided conversation.

Every dynamic is different but I feel something is amiss. I've done the LDR before and was much more involved many texts through each day and calls throughout the week.

My question is how to bring him back to "reality" before he really does get hurt ?

 

[Mory Dunz]

Here, have a double dose of my funny for the morning.



&#55357;&#56834;

Besides from being a little too forward (for my own personal tastes), didn't see the first one as horrible

 

[Baron von Loathsome]

Besides from being a little too forward (for my own personal tastes), don't see the first one as horrible

I'm not one to speak, but it reeks of "nice guy" to me.

 

[Leeness]

Besides from being a little too forward (for my own personal tastes), don't see the first one as horrible

The first one's first message wasn't the worst at all...it was the follow up half an hour later lol. They're the same person, if that wasn't clear since I took the name off of it.

 

[Mory Dunz]

The first one's first message wasn't the worst at all...it was the follow up half an hour later lol. They're the same person, if that wasn't clear since I took the name off of it.

ohhh

...goodness.

 

[Salamando]

I didn't get the reference. Goes to show why I can't make any relationships last.


Gonna reinstall tinder and tantan in a few days. See how a week in NYC treats me. Looking forward to striking out in N America again. I'm thankful to Leeness for those sweet first message templates.

Don't forget to question the realness of their boobs. Ladies love that.

I have a friend that claims to be in a long distance relationship with someone. They've known each other for a year, decided to go a few steps forward months after meeting.

He's noticed inconsistency with a lot of things she has told him. My instant reaction was that she's a liar, if shes changed her story about something minor who knows how truthful she has really been since day one. But thats me as I'm used to people feeding me bullcrap.

They don't talk or text each other that often. Maybe one major call and a few text exchanges per week and when the texts happen its largely a one sided conversation.

Every dynamic is different but I feel something is amiss. I've done the LDR before and was much more involved many texts through each day and calls throughout the week.

My question is how to bring him back to "reality" before he really does get hurt ?

Tell him your thoughts, but let him make his own decisions. Sometimes you just gotta let people fuck up so they can learn from that. If he goes down the same path again, then its your job to remind him of those past fuck-ups.

 

[Leeness]

ohhh

...goodness.

Yeah lol... the "we're a perfect match" and "let me tell you how dumb girls only like men who shower and have a job, keep it simple!!" are from the same guy. Haha.

The "I'll pay you to hang out" is a different person, though.

Don't forget to question the realness of their boobs. Ladies love that.

Realness and size. Don't forget size.

 

[vern]

The crazy thing is I can't imagine calling someone my "perfect match" after years of dating, let alone just after reading an online profile.

 

[chicko1983]

I was using the local online dating app and not having much luck. Was chatting to a woman who didn't seem interested until I mentioned I was going to head away for Easter, to my parent's weekend house. It's at a very nice/popular location where I live. Then the usual questions pop up: do you have a boat, followed by do you have a job, what car do you have and finally, what school did you go to (I'm 33 BTW,but I know plenty of women who only date private schooled dudes).

I answered them truthfully and then she asked me on a date. She went from seemingly uninterested from my photos (which I only unlocked after she accepted my request) to asking me out.

I said I'll get back to her. I don't think she is attracted to me physically, but is this really a bad thing?

 

[Mory Dunz]

The crazy thing is I can't imagine calling someone my "perfect match" after years of dating, let alone just after reading an online profile.

but....you are my perfect match

 

[vern]

but....you are my perfect match

It's just that easy. Another dating age success story. Zackie can draft the prenup.

 

[Mory Dunz]

It's just that easy. Another dating age success story. Zackie can draft the prenup.

and I thought we was real

 

[vern]

and I thought we was real

We can be real but you ain't getting half my money babe.

 

[Messofanego]

I let the older woman go, too little too slow and no signs that it's going to get better.

Why you gotta do old women like that?

 

[gaiages]

I was using the local online dating app and not having much luck. Was chatting to a woman who didn't seem interested until I mentioned I was going to head away for Easter, to my parent's weekend house. It's at a very nice/popular location where I live. Then the usual questions pop up: do you have a boat, followed by do you have a job, what car do you have and finally, what school did you go to (I'm 33 BTW,but I know plenty of women who only date private schooled dudes).

I answered them truthfully and then she asked me on a date. She went from seemingly uninterested from my photos (which I only unlocked after she accepted my request) to asking me out.

I said I'll get back to her. I don't think she is attracted to me physically, but is this really a bad thing?

Physical attraction is important, yes, and the fact that she seems like a gold digger is kind of a big red flag. You don't seem like you want to date her, so why do so?

 

[J_Viper]

Okay GAF, need some assistance planning my next move.

While in Miami on vacation, I started a Bumble account, and it has been going well. On my second day, I was asked out to hang out at a lounge by a very attractive women.

I should note that I'm 23, however, I switched my age to 40 on my account, as I have no interest in girls my age and have a thing for older women. And yes, I did tell her I wasn't actually 40 before we met.

We had a great time. We laughed, danced, and made out quite a bit. I think I could've have gone further with her, but her friend who came with her kinda interrupted us to tell her she had to leave, as the girl I was with was her ride.

She kissed me goodbye, on the lips, and we both left the place. Later that night I texted that I had a great time and I'd like to meet again, to which she told me she felt the same. I guess that means she likes me too?

Now, it's here where I have no idea where to progress. It should be noted that this is the second time ever that I've been on a date, so I have no idea how to follow one up. I should also say I'm a virgin, just to give an idea of how inexperienced I am with all of this.

What should I do from here? I don't what "activities" are around her area, and going right to her place seems a bit creepy. I really know nothing about women, let alone what would be considered a nice second date for an older woman. She also knows I'm going to back to NYC, though I told her I'd be back in Miami in June, which is true.

I guess I should also say that I'm not really looking for a serious relationship, and I doubt she is with me either, considering the age difference and the huge gap in career progress.

Help me GAF, you're my only hope

 

[timetokill]

There's a girl in a class I'm taking at the local community college that is really cute, but I figured not interested in me... she's a fair bit younger. Hobbies came up in class and she apparently plays videogames, so cool, intro topic. She says she's been playing Overwatch lately, and then gives me her number so we can trade Bnet ids later since she's in a hurry. I text her the next day and she says she can't come on for a few hours, but then she starts asking me about myself and we end up texting back and forth for an next hour or so until she gets home. Later we end up playing from like 11pm to 4:30am XD

Good signs. Not sure if it's anything yet, but I'm known to be oblivious.

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

Okay GAF, need some assistance planning my next move.

While in Miami on vacation, I started a Bumble account, and it has been going well. On my second day, I was asked out to hang out at a lounge by a very attractive women.

I should note that I'm 23, however, I switched my age to 40 on my account, as I have no interest in girls my age and have a thing for older women. And yes, I did tell her I wasn't actually 40 before we met.

We had a great time. We laughed, danced, and made out quite a bit. I think I could've have gone further with her, but her friend who came with her kinda interrupted us to tell her she had to leave, as the girl I was with was her ride.

She kissed me goodbye, on the lips, and we both left the place. Later that night I texted that I had a great time and I'd like to meet again, to which she told me she felt the same. I guess that means she likes me too?

Now, it's here where I have no idea where to progress. It should be noted that this is the second time ever that I've been on a date, so I have no idea how to follow one up. I should also say I'm a virgin, just to give an idea of how inexperienced I am with all of this.

What should I do from here? I don't what "activities" are around her area, and going right to her place seems a bit creepy. I really know nothing about women, let alone what would be considered a nice second date for an older woman. She also knows I'm going to back to NYC, though I told her I'd be back in Miami in June, which is true.

I guess I should also say that I'm not really looking for a serious relationship, and I doubt she is with me either, considering the age difference and the huge gap in career progress.

Help me GAF, you're my only hope

Maybe try being fucking honest instead of fetishizing actual human beings. That said, she obviously knows you're younger: there's no one who's 23 who could pass for 40 without a fuckton of poor choices in their lives, like meth.

Let's be clear here: even if you don't understand what's going on, she clearly does. She's not looking for a serious relationship from you, and I'd be shocked if your "I'm 40, but I'm definitely not a virgin!" vibes weren't flashing red like traffic signals to her. Still, she liked what you were bringing.

This was a vacation fling. It's not going anywhere. Text her and ask her to show you around, considering it's her turf. And if she asks if you're 40, don't fucking lie. Just say that, obviously you look younger, but it was a way to expand your age range in the app.