It's actually mind-boggling how many times we have to explain this in this very thread.
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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already
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It's actually mind-boggling how many times we have to explain this in this very thread.
always crazy bacon
Banned
To be fair this topic is very Groundhog Day by it's very nature, the questions we already learned the answers to are often the first time others have met with the situation.
KazenY2J
Member
I was sexting once with a girl I met on OKC and she blocked me the next day, she was even willing to meet up too, I was just like :|
Krauser Kat
Member
She got caught by her BF.
Gotdatmoney
Member
I know this has been addressed but . . . You arent suppose to have a convo with someone you wanna date through Instagram. If they dont give you the number you go "oh cool, have a nice day" and move on. No one avoids giving out a number if they actually like you. Especially now that phones have this awesome feature called block.
Krauser Kat
Member
I purposely ask for IG sometimes because its my main social media source ( i am an artist). Its less invasive but if you ask for a number and they give you an IG account. Its a no go.
I have made 2 dates from IG happen, so its not impossible, but its hard. My stylist met her fiance on IG though.
I have made 2 dates from IG happen, so its not impossible, but its hard. My stylist met her fiance on IG though.
Gotdatmoney
Member
Well if you ask for IG and they give you IG you are getting what you want. If you ask for a number and they propose Instagram you aren't. That's really all I'm saying. No one who actually likes you goes "how bout instagram instead" when you ask for a number.
names2hard4you
Member
To think this will be what we tell our children when they ask us how we met our partners. "I slid in his/her DMs, hit him/her with the *insert any variation of hey.gif here*, and you popped up 9 months later."
So my 30 year old virgin pal is about to pay $50 for a kama sutra app thinking its going to get him laid by word of mouth somehow. Advice or should i just let him do it? I personally think its a waste but he's damn near out of options and he's lashing out at me for saying not to
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
Let him do it.
So its a positive? I dont want him to slip further into depression if it doesnt pan out
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
No, I am just thinking that maybe he'll snap to reality and realize it's dumb if he tries it and it fails.
Krauser Kat
Member
In your opinion is this guy a lost cause? like what do you think he does wrong that has kept him a virgin.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
Okay, so my parents wanted me to meet this girl for marriage (Indian family, they want me to get married so bad). She's a family friend's granddaughter, newly arrived from India.
Now, I get cultural traditions, and if I meet the right girl, I don't mind making that decision quickly. But like here's the thing... I am not attracted to this girl at all. I realize I'm being superficial as fuck, but I just, I got nothing. And I feel bad, but I basically said no cause like I said, I'm not attracted to her at all, and we don't have a ton in common besides we both like horror films.
Anyways, my parents and granddad are seriously disappointed in me cause she said yes to marriage lol, and I said no, and they probably think I'm a superficial jerk right now. I'm not asking for advice or anything, just venting. I feel bad disappointing them, but I just can't say yes to someone (as nice as she is), that I'm just not attracted to. And it's not like I'm some Adonis or something, but I dunno, it's frustrating and weird.
Messofanego probably knows what I'm talking about.
Now, I get cultural traditions, and if I meet the right girl, I don't mind making that decision quickly. But like here's the thing... I am not attracted to this girl at all. I realize I'm being superficial as fuck, but I just, I got nothing. And I feel bad, but I basically said no cause like I said, I'm not attracted to her at all, and we don't have a ton in common besides we both like horror films.
Anyways, my parents and granddad are seriously disappointed in me cause she said yes to marriage lol, and I said no, and they probably think I'm a superficial jerk right now. I'm not asking for advice or anything, just venting. I feel bad disappointing them, but I just can't say yes to someone (as nice as she is), that I'm just not attracted to. And it's not like I'm some Adonis or something, but I dunno, it's frustrating and weird.
Messofanego probably knows what I'm talking about.
names2hard4you
Member
I understand the existence of culture, and I don't mean to disrespect either you or your parents, or even anyone who is a part of it. But man is it frustrating to read or hear stories like yours. To have your partner be picked out for you, and be expected to like them and have that important decision made for you is just shitty. Marriage is supposed to be one of the most important decisions in your life, and you don't even get to decide who you will be partnering up with.
He's just really shy and possibly insecure about his age relative to his sexual inexperience.. Ultimately though he also has strict standards for women and refuses to see himself in a healthier light. An app that shows you pleasure points isn't going to change that.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
Oh, I can decide. It varies family to family. They're just mad that I didn't say yes because they don't get my reasons for saying no. It's like a blind date that involves meeting the family at the same time.
So I've been through this rigmarole a bunch of times. Some families are cool with the girl and guy dating a bit before deciding. Some prefer they just talk on the phone a while. I've been in situations where the family wanted a yes or no answer after a twenty minute talk (Jesus Christ that one was brutal).
I've told my parents I'd prefer to date and get to know someone before I marry them, and while they're fine with that, they don't get why I don't like the ones they pick out. They're more conservative than I am obvs.
In this case, I'm just not attracted to her, so I don't want to pursue it further. My parents would want an answer after a few weeks, and I'm not gonna drag it out.
Find me a cool girl that I have great chemistry with and I'll probably go for it. I made a profile on Shaadi.com (LOL) to make my mom happy and get her off my back.
I have no instagram and barely understand what instagram does, so it's much easier for me to interpret that signal
Muddled ask got a muddled response, so there's that, not much eagerness there, but the possibility remains.
Works for me, i can follow up later and ask how the protests went for her while pursuing other ladies.
Agreed.
Sounds like the dude wants a quick fix instead of actual fixes. You can't help people who don't want the help. That $50 would be better spent on 2 months at the gym, a good haircut and a nice shirt, a session with a therapist...
names2hard4you
Member
I see! I've only been exposed to the more extreme side of things then, where yeah, its a yes or no answer after the families get together and they talk it out without even giving the guy or gal the chance to get to know each other properly.
At any rate, I hope that everything works on your side
KazenY2J
Member
Might've been honestly lol.
Luckily it was through snapchat.
Miles Quaritch
Member
Any disappointment they feel will pass. I do question the superficial comment, having a few close Muslim/Indian friends, I've noticed that when they've turned down an arranged marriage opportunity, the disappointment is actually about the community and how they'll respond rather than them being upset the marriage isn't happening.
Weird shit. Count yourself lucky you're a guy, women have it tough in S.E communities. I'm sure you know that though. Lots of 'expiration' talk goes on when women hit 27...
Weird shit. Count yourself lucky you're a guy, women have it tough in S.E communities. I'm sure you know that though. Lots of 'expiration' talk goes on when women hit 27...
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
The girl is 27 :/
Gotdatmoney
Member
It may be your friend but you would be naive to think if you say no a bunch he will snap outta it. Let him do it. Let him fail. Move on from that point.
Is it OMGyes?
Miles Quaritch
Member
Don't feel guilty, you can't change cultural issues like that nonsense nor should you let them dictate your actions. I still don't know why it starts at 27, women can and regularly do have healthy babies into their thirties. I get it, the biological clock, etc but still...
Anyway, you have to think about yourself and your future happiness, that's the only thing that matters.
You get one shot my dude.
where the hell are you getting all this for $50?!
I got lazy and forgot to type an "or".
Point stays though. If you want to meet someone, $50 on a kama sutra app is a terrible investment.
Count Dookkake
Member
Tell your friend that we are all laughing at him and his scheme.
ZackieChan
Member
A "nice" shirt and a therapy session with Peanuts' Lucy.
It is!! I actually think its a good app but for people that are already having sex. Not someone who thinks its going to help them get laid.
Honestly i just want him to get laid and experience it before he does something stupid. You might judge me but i tried to help him find an escort and he rejected it on the basis that "he's capable of more than that" but.. eh no you really aren't apparently.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
Hire a hooker to pretend to be a random girl in a bar to hit on him and have a one night stand with him.
Edit: oh you did ahahaha
You need to get a hooker to pretend not to be one.
i've seen this in big bang theory
It's actually more for women... It's to help them figure out their bodies more (apparently).
So probably not going to get him laid lol.
Miles Quaritch
Member
I think it's a sound scheme, let's see how it plays out.
Make sure to provide regular updates daffy.
Not the first time I heard that plan in this thread, though it was just an asian massage parlor and some hand-stuff.
And in The Cable Guy
Wow... And I thought my cultural traditions/parents were a nightmare. It's nothing compared to that.
Modern arranged marriage is something I'll never understand.
I can't believe I'm asking this but I'm going for it, because I don't know who I'm going to talk about it with nor do I really want to have this discussion face-to-face with someone I know. I would assume that it belongs in this topic because I surely don't want to make a thread for it.
In any case, I've been dating a guy for a long time now (years+) and there's one thing he never wants to talk about, and its his fetishes. Is this normal? I ask him why not, and he says "Well, I feel like you wouldn't get it since you don't have one." and "It's totally fictional desire, not real."
What the hell? I dunno. What say you, gaf? Is it normal to not tell your partner about this? Yes, we're sexually active, so it kinda frustrates me more than anything but I don't have a reference for whether or not it's normal and I'm willing to let it go, but it just kinda makes me feel meh about not being able to do anything about it and also him hiding information about this, especially since he's told me that he's comfortable talking to his other friends about it but not me....?
In any case, I've been dating a guy for a long time now (years+) and there's one thing he never wants to talk about, and its his fetishes. Is this normal? I ask him why not, and he says "Well, I feel like you wouldn't get it since you don't have one." and "It's totally fictional desire, not real."
What the hell? I dunno. What say you, gaf? Is it normal to not tell your partner about this? Yes, we're sexually active, so it kinda frustrates me more than anything but I don't have a reference for whether or not it's normal and I'm willing to let it go, but it just kinda makes me feel meh about not being able to do anything about it and also him hiding information about this, especially since he's told me that he's comfortable talking to his other friends about it but not me....?
Miles Quaritch
Member
Maybe an ex partner of his fetish shamed him and now he doesn't feel comfortable telling anyone unless they have a fetish of their own so they can't shame him.
Totally fictional desire is weird though. Do you know if those friends share his fetish?
Technically, the proper term is Kink. Fetish more generally refers to sexual gratification linked to objects, body parts, clothing, etc.
Willing to talk to his friends about it, and not you, is just bizarre. Depending on the desire, you'd be the one to help him realize it.
What bugs you the most about this situation?
Is this an actual thing? Its honestly the best shot he has if so.
edit: yeah Salamando, i thought about the massage parlor route but there's no way he'll go near it haha
He thinks that he'll learn all this stuff and talk with women about it, and they will naturally see his sexual worth. He needs to get the basics down first lol
I'm actually his first partner, so I don't know. Now that I think about it, one time he said that it just makes him feel really dirty compared to me since I don't have one. I don't know if his friends share the fetish or kink or whatever it may be.
Well, the fact that he doesn't want to tell me knowing that it's something that he says he can relate to with his friends, despite me being his actual partner, I feel like I kind of have the right to know? Maybe I don't, I don't know. But it bothers me because supposedly other people know. Also, the fact that he's kind of hiding this information from me to begin with just feel strange, considering he knows every detail about me but yet does not feel comfortable about this.
Also, I'll just quote the actual skype convo: "They're totally unconnected to real life though, entirely fictional" which sounds kinda BS to me, because I know that's not true, unless his particular fetish/kink is, in which case should bother me less knowing that...? I don't know.
Yeah...I don't think so. Lol. That site is primarily for women, and if women want to, to share with their partners.
Bad idea.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
What, too good for a happy ending? He thinks highly of himself indeed.
And yes, you can actually make this a thing. You would definitely have to clarify to the woman of the night what you are trying to do, and you'll have to pay well above market rate.
And you need to make a plan of attack, and find a reputable contractor.
I mean, if he already got all pissy when you said it was a bad idea... well, sometimes people have to make mistakes on their own. I'm sure most of us have wasted more than $50 in the past on bullshit anyway.
Though I don't see how that app would help him get laid.
At this point he'd be better off ponying up a little more money and hiring a prostitute.
(I think I missed a bunch of replies but I'm too sick/lazy to look them up)
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
I'm just curious about the logic that somehow a Kama Sutra app will help get him laid.
Like... just try Tinder or 'Casual Encounters' on Craigslist if you're that desperate, but you have zero confidence/"game" with random women in bars, or just... hire a hooker.
Like... just try Tinder or 'Casual Encounters' on Craigslist if you're that desperate, but you have zero confidence/"game" with random women in bars, or just... hire a hooker.
It's not really a karma sutra app. Look up OMGyes--it's more of a "be unafraid of sexuality, ladies" kind of thing.
There are some kinks that could only exist in fiction. A common enough one is the desire to one day wake up as the opposite gender and experience sex from another way. TLC's has enough programs that showcase the weirdness in people's libidos - one guy was really into ferris wheels. Not to downplay the excuse, because it is an excuse, but there could be merit to it.
Have you let him know how much it hurts you that his friends know and he refuses to tell you?
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
So I just checked it out.
He thinks this is gonna get him laid?
Daffy, your friend is dumb. Sorry to say, but damn, you need to shake him back to reality. Is there something specific that's holding him back? Does he have severe anxiety or something?
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