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[Go_Ly_Dow]

As was said above, moving in with your partner is the only way to really know if it's going to work long term. You learn a LOT about your partner AND yourself when you live with them. When you're earlier on dating and living apart, seeing eachother 3-5 times a week, that's like a greatest hits package for both of you - you're basically only seeing eachother at the top of your game. When you live together, you're going to see eachother in every single messy situation of life. Had a big fight? Too bad, you still live together so you can't disappear for a day to cool down! Hate her inlaws? Too bad, they are coming over to stay for a week! Hate her mangy little dog? Too bad, he's you're dog now!

I know that makes it sound awful, but it really isn't. But it WILL change your relationship in countless ways. It takes the mystery out of both of you, so you'd better have a really solid base to build off of. And just remember, everyone poops.

My girlfriend and I have had 3 living scenarios:
- the first 6 months I lived in my own place and she lived with 2 other girls. In this scenario, we both lived apart and were honeymooning hard, so it was heaven every time we managed to get together, usually 3-5 times a week. I didn't even think she pooped at this time. She was just this sexy angel who descemded upon me several times a week.
- between 6 months and 2 years she lived with me in my condo. My condo was quite large and spacious, had 2 bathrooms, and was quite comfortable. During this time we really got to know eachother's quirks (and trust me, you both have a ton of them) and adjust to them. During this time I was aware that she pooped. But we had 2 bathrooms and opposite schedules, so it usually happened when I was away or in another room.
- between 2 years and 3 years we relocated for work and rent a teeny tiny little one bedroom, one bathroom place. I now know it is built to last because we asre basically living on top of eachother and still making it work. Now we have to hear eachother poop because we currently live in a prison cell.

Well put. Thank you.

I'll make sure we have a proper conversation about it soon once the time comes!

 

[Megalosaro]

Girlfriend wants to open a joint savings account together.

Thoughts?

I'm... kinda okay with it actually.

Edit: it'd be for planning trips and stuff. It would never be that high of an amount.


Apparently she is SUPER stoked about me wanting to financially plan with her. More than I initially thought. I wonder why? It's not exactly a sexy topic.

 

[vern]

Girlfriend wants to open a joint savings account together.

Thoughts?

I'm... kinda okay with it actually.

Edit: it'd be for planning trips and stuff. It would never be that high of an amount.


Apparently she is SUPER stoked about me wanting to financially plan with her. More than I initially thought. I wonder why? It's not exactly a sexy topic.

As long as it isn't your only account I don't see the problem. Just both contribute a set amount each month and agree to not use it except for "trips and stuff" (maybe you should specify) then you'll be fine.

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

"I don't understand why you'd just want to be friends. It seems contrary to what's happened. Did I do something wrong?" -- this, is exactly why you ghost after 2 dates.

 

[gaiages]

Girlfriend wants to open a joint savings account together.

Thoughts?

I'm... kinda okay with it actually.

Edit: it'd be for planning trips and stuff. It would never be that high of an amount.


Apparently she is SUPER stoked about me wanting to financially plan with her. More than I initially thought. I wonder why? It's not exactly a sexy topic.

It shows a commitment and trust in your relationship and future together.

 

[Ron Mexico]

Girlfriend wants to open a joint savings account together.

Thoughts?

I'm... kinda okay with it actually.

Edit: it'd be for planning trips and stuff. It would never be that high of an amount.


Apparently she is SUPER stoked about me wanting to financially plan with her. More than I initially thought. I wonder why? It's not exactly a sexy topic.

The only thing to keep in mind with a joint account is both parties have full access to the funds and can literally do anything independently of the other. I've lost track of how many times I'd have people in my office incensed that their ex-whatever that was on their account cleaned out the balance and they had no recourse.

Now that said, it does signal a willingness to work together and a sense of trust in each other of course. My fiancée and I each have our own separate accounts to maintain autonomy but we opened a joint account from which we pay the household expenses. So we each make transfers from bank to bank during the month. We're accountable to each other while still having control of our own finances.

Only other small piece of advice is I'd open this account in a separate institution from where either of you have your primary accounts. Just in case.

 

['Heaven Sniper]

So I posted a couple months ago about a girl I had met in my online class that I was really hitting it off with. We met three times throughout the semester to take quizzes together, usually grabbing drinks after the study sessions. The semester finally ended and I finally asked her out on a date. She said yes, so yesterday I drove two hours down to Atlantic City to beach it with her. We spent the afternoon together chillin and grabbing drinks from this tiki bar on the beach (We were allowed to bring the drinks back to our spot). One of her good guy friends happened to be hanging out at the tiki bar with one of his friends, so we went up and talked to them. I also bought a round of shots to get things going. I really liked that she didn't try to get him to hang out with us. She understood that we were doing our own thing.

After the beach, we went ahead and grabbed dinner at this seafood place she recommended. She really wanted to split the bill and pay for every other round of drinks, but I insisted and paid for all of it. All in all we spent about 5 hours together. She had work in the morning so I drove her home right after dinner.

I ended up booking a room in AC just in case. Made plans with friends to meet me down there so I wasn't stuck in case things didn't work out on the date. She said she had a good time but I didn't make a move and kiss her. Later that night, I snapchatted her a picture of us that I took that day. She saved the pic and replied that she thought it was really cute.

I'm hoping that I can get a second date with her, but with her birthday and my birthday coming up within the next couple weeks, I'm sure the both of us will be pretty busy. The distance guarantees that I need at least a couple days off to drive back down to AC. I think it went well but understand I need to make a move next time I get her one-on-one. Thoughts?

 

[Ernest]

I came upon an online profile for a girl where she said she was a Trump supporter, which she apologized for. I just thought that was hilarious. At least she's more honest than Trump.

 

[Xun]

Story

Holy shit.

That's quite the story you have there Kat!

What? Why? Is this some kind of weird power play thing?

Indeed.

A part of me does regret asking her too soon though, but we shall see what happens when she returns in a month (she's gone home to chill a bit).

I'm not going to date anyone else (especially since it seems like she views us as exclusive), but not having a label on what we are does suck and I still feel like I'm in limbo.

I guess all I can do is continue when she returns?

 

[LegendofDragoonLives]

Dear good people of neogaf... I have to vent about a date i had last night.
This was a second date. How, as someone who takes prides as a reader of people and people watcher did not notice she had a severe lazy eye last friday is beyond me. The date started in a dark bar and ended in a club so i guess that is all i will chalk it up to.

I couldnt look at her in the face the whole time... it was so rough. I kept having to play with my glass placement. The conversation was fine. When we finished dinner and moved to go to a bar. The bar we thought about going to looked sooo very sad. So we kept going.

We started talking about exs and past relationships and random shit we did in our past. Her most current ex comes up and holy shit i could not have been prepared for it. She opens with it was the best sex she has had in her life (she is 34). Im like cool, you are coming from a strong place and probably confident. She then says he had some issues and that were complicated. I dont judge people on their ex's so i urge her to proceed. I love a juicy story.

Men and women of neogaf dating. I was not prepared when she said this dude was an admitted pedophile. Like she was okay with it. He didnt act on it. They dated for 4 months. He got comfortable enough that when they were out in public and as couples do comment on the people around them. Like hey, that guy is attractive or that couple looks cute. This dude let his freak flag fly would comment on the 8-9 yr olds around her...

I have to maintain my fucking composure. What the fuck my friends.
She didnt break up with him on the spot either she kept going. I needed another drink.
What pushed her over the edge, which i think when your partner starts going on about Lolitas you are already at terminal velocity. Is while watching IT and talking about Bev being pretty hot and if 10yr olds can be into bev why not a 28yr old.
NOOOOOOOO

I drowned my soul with the rest of my beer and was like hey we should head out this place is closing soon anyway. I LYFTed out of there so fast.

Kat be honest fam... did you sleep with her?

Spoiler

I don't think anyone could have seen this going this way lmao

 

[ZackieChan]

How's it going?

 

[Krauser Kat]

Kat be honest fam... did you sleep with her?

Spoiler

I don't think anyone could have seen this going this way lmao

No i didnt. I havent gotten any in a couple weeks. Took a small break from dating.

The eye would have thrown me and she could feel me mentally running away screaming after she finished her tale.

 

[Llyranor]

Holy shit.

That's quite the story you have there Kat!

Indeed.

A part of me does regret asking her too soon though, but we shall see what happens when she returns in a month (she's gone home to chill a bit).

I'm not going to date anyone else (especially since it seems like she views us as exclusive), but not having a label on what we are does suck and I still feel like I'm in limbo.

I guess all I can do is continue when she returns?

Are you guys actually exclusive? The way you're writing it sounds vague. Did she explicitly say she is exclusive to you?

 

[gaiages]

How's it going?

Hey you're not dead

 

[[KoRp]Jazzman]

It shows a commitment and trust in your relationship and future together.

True, but they haven't been dating that long and it seems weird to open one up that quickly. I get the ease of saving for common things like trips and dates, but why open yourself to the risk when there are other easy options (like setting up a shared doc in google sheets to track expenditures and who has contributed what to them).

I get it can be a show of trust in the relationship, but that seems like a pointless way to do it that only opens you both up to potential issues. Granted, I say this as someone who just got married this summer after 3 years of dating and we still don't have a joint account though we are opening one soon. I do make a fair amount more than her especially when we first started dating. I now track all our monthly expenditures on a shared sheet and we either split costs where we can or we use etransfers to one another to transfer funds.

Just a word of caution, but never put more into the account that you aren't willing to lose should the worst happen. Also ask yourself "if this is only going to have a small amount of money in it" why even bother opening one up instead of just splitting the costs yourselves?

 

[Messofanego]

Dear good people of neogaf... I have to vent about a date i had last night.
This was a second date. How, as someone who takes prides as a reader of people and people watcher did not notice she had a severe lazy eye last friday is beyond me. The date started in a dark bar and ended in a club so i guess that is all i will chalk it up to.

I couldnt look at her in the face the whole time... it was so rough. I kept having to play with my glass placement. The conversation was fine. When we finished dinner and moved to go to a bar. The bar we thought about going to looked sooo very sad. So we kept going.

We started talking about exs and past relationships and random shit we did in our past. Her most current ex comes up and holy shit i could not have been prepared for it. She opens with it was the best sex she has had in her life (she is 34). Im like cool, you are coming from a strong place and probably confident. She then says he had some issues and that were complicated. I dont judge people on their ex's so i urge her to proceed. I love a juicy story.

Men and women of neogaf dating. I was not prepared when she said this dude was an admitted pedophile. Like she was okay with it. He didnt act on it. They dated for 4 months. He got comfortable enough that when they were out in public and as couples do comment on the people around them. Like hey, that guy is attractive or that couple looks cute. This dude let his freak flag fly would comment on the 8-9 yr olds around her...

I have to maintain my fucking composure. What the fuck my friends.
She didnt break up with him on the spot either she kept going. I needed another drink.
What pushed her over the edge, which i think when your partner starts going on about Lolitas you are already at terminal velocity. Is while watching IT and talking about Bev being pretty hot and if 10yr olds can be into bev why not a 28yr old.
NOOOOOOOO

I drowned my soul with the rest of my beer and was like hey we should head out this place is closing soon anyway. I LYFTed out of there so fast.

Best LYFT story I've ever read.

 

[Llyranor]

True, but they haven't been dating that long and it seems weird to open one up that quickly. I get the ease of saving for common things like trips and dates, but why open yourself to the risk when there are other easy options (like setting up a shared doc in google sheets to track expenditures and who has contributed what to them).

I get it can be a show of trust in the relationship, but that seems like a pointless way to do it that only opens you both up to potential issues. Granted, I say this as someone who just got married this summer after 3 years of dating and we still don't have a joint account though we are opening one soon. I do make a fair amount more than her especially when we first started dating. I now track all our monthly expenditures on a shared sheet and we either split costs where we can or we use etransfers to one another to transfer funds.

Just a word of caution, but never put more into the account that you aren't willing to lose should the worst happen. Also ask yourself "if this is only going to have a small amount of money in it" why even bother opening one up instead of just splitting the costs yourselves?

I tend to agree, if we're talking about a relatively new months-old relationshop. If the purpose is for joint trips and so on, that can be done by planning how much you'd need and individually saving up the required amount + reserves on both sides separately.

 

[gaiages]

True, but they haven't been dating that long and it seems weird to open one up that quickly. I get the ease of saving for common things like trips and dates, but why open yourself to the risk when there are other easy options (like setting up a shared doc in google sheets to track expenditures and who has contributed what to them).

I get it can be a show of trust in the relationship, but that seems like a pointless way to do it that only opens you both up to potential issues. Granted, I say this as someone who just got married this summer after 3 years of dating and we still don't have a joint account though we are opening one soon. I do make a fair amount more than her especially when we first started dating. I now track all our monthly expenditures on a shared sheet and we either split costs where we can or we use etransfers to one another to transfer funds.

Just a word of caution, but never put more into the account that you aren't willing to lose should the worst happen. Also ask yourself "if this is only going to have a small amount of money in it" why even bother opening one up instead of just splitting the costs yourselves?

Oh yeah I mean I wasn't really commenting on if that was a good idea or not. My SO and I are over the two year mark and we still keep everything completely separate, with splitting things as needed. I was mainly just responding on why she might be excited. I get excited when my SO pays another debt off because it's one step closer to being finanically stable

 

[Megauap]

Just posting to hear some opinions.
I'm 20 years old and I'm currently in my first relationship. I like the girl I'm with but we met each other at an escort house.
She is 19 and she has been working as an escort for 1 month because she needs the money to pay for her college studies. I don't have any problem with her working there as long as she is not hurt and works there on her free will.
Has anyone any similar experiences?

 

[FyreWulff]

Girlfriend wants to open a joint savings account together.

Thoughts?

I'm... kinda okay with it actually.

Edit: it'd be for planning trips and stuff. It would never be that high of an amount.


Apparently she is SUPER stoked about me wanting to financially plan with her. More than I initially thought. I wonder why? It's not exactly a sexy topic.

sure, just keep your own separate personal accounts at the same time. I'd recommend you both agree ahead of time an amount of money you both put in it per month

 

[ZackieChan]

Hey you're not dead

Damn right.

Mega, bad idea. No reason to do that, except as some kind of trust thing. Just allocate the money somehow and there's no need to have a separate account. I recommend YNAB - could seriously help you get your finances together in general. Well worth the $5 a month.

PM me for referral code 😉

 

[Clay Davis]

Hi dating gaf, hope you're all doing okay.

This isn't a dating question, but it also doesn't warrant a thread so I hope it's OK if I post it here and get your feedback.

I have a friend, let's call her S. She's an old friend, but recently she's become very passive aggressive whenever we talk. She'll attack the fact that I'm seeing other friends and either didn't invite her or didn't want to spend time with her, she'll start a conversation and if I need to end it before she wants to, she'll start replying with one letter words like 'K' for the next few days. Whenever I tell her I'm spending time with my girlfriend, she'll make comments like she's got me a tight leash and whip whip.

I've spoken to my girlfriend about it and she thinks she's jealous and is worried she's losing me, what do you all think? I'd like to preserve the friendship, but her behaviour is making me want to contact and interact with her less and less.

 

[Subpar Scrub]

Sup guys

Kat that story was crazy as fuck. I would have bailed the second she even implied she stayed with him.

Megauap I would bail immediately, especially if prostitution is illegal or unregulated in your country. How far into the relationship are you?

I have a friend, let's call her S. She's an old friend, but recently she's become very passive aggressive whenever we talk. She'll attack the fact that I'm seeing other friends and either didn't invite her or didn't want to spend time with her, she'll start a conversation and if I need to end it before she wants to, she'll start replying with one letter words like 'K' for the next few days. Whenever I tell her I'm spending time with my girlfriend, she'll make comments like she's got me a tight leash and whip whip.

I've spoken to my girlfriend about it and she thinks she's jealous and is worried she's losing me, what do you all think? I'd like to preserve the friendship, but her behaviour is making me want to contact and interact with her less and less.

If not hanging out with her is a constant thing, I'd understand her frustration, but otherwise she's acting pretty immaturely. I'd tell her that you don't appreciate the snarky replies. If no improvement is made, well... it's not worth talking to this person if she makes your girlfriend uncomfortable and stresses you out.

Spoiler

Was she dating Amir0x

Nearly fell off the treadmill, 10/10

 

[dreamcastmaster]

Just posting to hear some opinions.
I'm 20 years old and I'm currently in my first relationship. I like the girl I'm with but we met each other at an escort house.
She is 19 and she has been working as an escort for 1 month because she needs the money to pay for her college studies. I don't have any problem with her working there as long as she is not hurt and works there on her free will.
Has anyone any similar experiences?

That's a big ask, very unusual situation.

 

[Jintor]

Welp got date rejected after second date by text. Oof. Oh well, I think I'm in a self improvement mood anyway.

Gotta figure out conversation strats as well, I could tell that was a huge failing of mine, a lot of dead air

Oh well

 

[artsi]

Just posting to hear some opinions.
I'm 20 years old and I'm currently in my first relationship. I like the girl I'm with but we met each other at an escort house.
She is 19 and she has been working as an escort for 1 month because she needs the money to pay for her college studies. I don't have any problem with her working there as long as she is not hurt and works there on her free will.
Has anyone any similar experiences?

I would not like it if my girlfriend fucked other dudes for money.

But that's just my opinion.

 

[Messofanego]

Hi dating gaf, hope you're all doing okay.

This isn't a dating question, but it also doesn't warrant a thread so I hope it's OK if I post it here and get your feedback.

I have a friend, let's call her S. She's an old friend, but recently she's become very passive aggressive whenever we talk. She'll attack the fact that I'm seeing other friends and either didn't invite her or didn't want to spend time with her, she'll start a conversation and if I need to end it before she wants to, she'll start replying with one letter words like 'K' for the next few days. Whenever I tell her I'm spending time with my girlfriend, she'll make comments like she's got me a tight leash and whip whip.

I've spoken to my girlfriend about it and she thinks she's jealous and is worried she's losing me, what do you all think? I'd like to preserve the friendship, but her behaviour is making me want to contact and interact with her less and less.

Hello, Clay Davis, I'm doing well. Hope you are well, too.

Is it rare that you and S get to hang out? Maybe she's jealous that you're spending more time with others than with her. Maybe she has feelings for you. Maybe she feels she's lost a friend, like your gf suggests. There could be something deeper here that could be salvaged.

 

[gaiages]

Just posting to hear some opinions.
I'm 20 years old and I'm currently in my first relationship. I like the girl I'm with but we met each other at an escort house.
She is 19 and she has been working as an escort for 1 month because she needs the money to pay for her college studies. I don't have any problem with her working there as long as she is not hurt and works there on her free will.
Has anyone any similar experiences?

I mean, if you're okay with it, okay.

Hi dating gaf, hope you're all doing okay.

This isn't a dating question, but it also doesn't warrant a thread so I hope it's OK if I post it here and get your feedback.

I have a friend, let's call her S. She's an old friend, but recently she's become very passive aggressive whenever we talk. She'll attack the fact that I'm seeing other friends and either didn't invite her or didn't want to spend time with her, she'll start a conversation and if I need to end it before she wants to, she'll start replying with one letter words like 'K' for the next few days. Whenever I tell her I'm spending time with my girlfriend, she'll make comments like she's got me a tight leash and whip whip.

I've spoken to my girlfriend about it and she thinks she's jealous and is worried she's losing me, what do you all think? I'd like to preserve the friendship, but her behaviour is making me want to contact and interact with her less and less.

Is this the same person from before that suddenly got really touchy and clingy when you got a girlfriend?

 

[Jintor]

Man this kinda has me down.

I guess I should probably focus on my own self confidence for a while though cos I'm really feeling a need to change everything up though

 

[Gizuko]

Welp got date rejected after second date by text. Oof. Oh well, I think I'm in a self improvement mood anyway.

Gotta figure out conversation strats as well, I could tell that was a huge failing of mine, a lot of dead air

Oh well

Do not belittle yourself. You could certainly improve said skills, but it could also be a lack of chemistry.
There are some people I just can't hold a conversation with, and it's not solely my fault - and neither is yours.

If you feel you can better yourself that way, do it. But do not think you are flawed because of your current... Skill?

Man this kinda has me down.

I guess I should probably focus on my own self confidence for a while though cos I'm really feeling a need to change everything up though

By all means do so. I disagree with changing, though. Be yourself, albeit a better you - that's what self-improvement means.

This might seem like a weird thing to pick on, but the way we talk about ourselves and our goals is key.

Cheer up, and get to it!

 

[Megauap]

I would not like it if my girlfriend fucked other dudes for money.

But that's just my opinion.

It's obviously just a temporary job, she will not make it a professional career. She just needs the money to be able to afford her studies.

 

[Raptomex]

Just posting to hear some opinions.
I'm 20 years old and I'm currently in my first relationship. I like the girl I'm with but we met each other at an escort house.
She is 19 and she has been working as an escort for 1 month because she needs the money to pay for her college studies. I don't have any problem with her working there as long as she is not hurt and works there on her free will.
Has anyone any similar experiences?

No, and I would not be cool with that. This may sound selfish but if I were you, I'd be very concerned about catching something. I hope she's safe at least.

You say you met at an escort house. Not to be a dick but are you sure you're in a relationship or...

 

[Messofanego]

Escort house is a brothel, right?

 

[Megalosaro]

Last night the girl came down sort of pissed. Not at me, but I could tell she was stressing. I figured of was work.

It eventually came out that right before she was heading out the door, her mom made a comment that erked her.

"You've been very rude to me lately"

My girlfriend asked how so, to which the mom said last week she made a rude comment in front of me to her mom.

I remember the comment. I had bought some baked stuff and left it at her place while we hung out. When we came back, the box was on the counter. The conversation went like this.

<gf sees the box on the counter>
Gf: "hey, did you eat the breads?"
Mom: "yes, I saw them there and figured they were left for me."
Gf: "nope, they were Megalosaro's"

That's it. We kinda laughed it off and then went somewhere else. Wasnt a big deal. But I guess the mom stewed on it.

The gf talked to her sister about how the mom was upset about that. The sister thanks the mom is starting to feel threatened about her living situation because our relationship is going so well. That if we ever move in, she would be kicked out.

How should I navigate this? Last night I towed the line between backing up my girlfriend in declaring she did nothing wrong, which she didnt, and being sympathetic to the moms feelings. I don't want the mom to feel threatened. For what it is worth, the mom adores me. She treats me well, and has told my gf I'm the best boyfriend she has had. She's just scared I guess.

 

[EchoChamber]

No, and I would not be cool with that. This may sound selfish but if I were you, I'd be very concerned about catching something. I hope she's safe at least.

You say you met at an escort house. Not to be a dick but are you sure you're in a relationship or...

It reminds me of that south Park episode when butters believes he has a girlfriend in hooters.

 

[Ralemont]

Just posting to hear some opinions.
I'm 20 years old and I'm currently in my first relationship. I like the girl I'm with but we met each other at an escort house.
She is 19 and she has been working as an escort for 1 month because she needs the money to pay for her college studies. I don't have any problem with her working there as long as she is not hurt and works there on her free will.
Has anyone any similar experiences?

Do you guys split paying for dates evenly?

 

[gaiages]

Escort house is a brothel, right?

TECHNICALLY no, as they aren't REQUIRED to have sex.

But... yes.

 

[gaiages]

Double post try and stop me

Last night the girl came down sort of pissed. Not at me, but I could tell she was stressing. I figured of was work.

It eventually came out that right before she was heading out the door, her mom made a comment that erked her.

"You've been very rude to me lately"

My girlfriend asked how so, to which the mom said last week she made a rude comment in front of me to her mom.

I remember the comment. I had bought some baked stuff and left it at her place while we hung out. When we came back, the box was on the counter. The conversation went like this.

<gf sees the box on the counter>
Gf: "hey, did you eat the breads?"
Mom: "yes, I saw them there and figured they were left for me."
Gf: "nope, they were Megalosaro's"

That's it. We kinda laughed it off and then went somewhere else. Wasnt a big deal. But I guess the mom stewed on it.

The gf talked to her sister about how the mom was upset about that. The sister thanks the mom is starting to feel threatened about her living situation because our relationship is going so well. That if we ever move in, she would be kicked out.

How should I navigate this? Last night I towed the line between backing up my girlfriend in declaring she did nothing wrong, which she didnt, and being sympathetic to the moms feelings. I don't want the mom to feel threatened. For what it is worth, the mom adores me. She treats me well, and has told my gf I'm the best boyfriend she has had. She's just scared I guess.

Navigate... what, exactly?

Also we can't have the answer to everything for you.

 

[Krauser Kat]

It's obviously just a temporary job, she will not make it a professional career. She just needs the money to be able to afford her studies.

I reallllly hope she isnt playing you but. Good luck. Also split dinners 50/50.

 

[Unducks]

I just got out of a very long relationship and while I'm not interested in dating right now, I am kind of feeling the need to figure out what I'm going to be getting myself into. All of the app-based dating wasn't around before I was in this relationship, and I didn't really do much dating before it anyway, so I'm kind of just totally unaware.

It seems pretty overwhelming. Where do I start with figuring this out? Like I said, I'm not ready to date and won't be for a bit, but I just want to understand what to expect and what I should do a bit better. Books, articles, etc. would be helpful. I think part of it is that while I don't want to let it grow into something I get anxious about or intimidated by.

 

[Peltz]

Girlfriend wants to open a joint savings account together.

Thoughts?

I'm... kinda okay with it actually.

Edit: it'd be for planning trips and stuff. It would never be that high of an amount.


Apparently she is SUPER stoked about me wanting to financially plan with her. More than I initially thought. I wonder why? It's not exactly a sexy topic.

Sounds like a big step. I've never done that with anyone before.

How do you feel about it?

Just posting to hear some opinions.
I'm 20 years old and I'm currently in my first relationship. I like the girl I'm with but we met each other at an escort house.
She is 19 and she has been working as an escort for 1 month because she needs the money to pay for her college studies. I don't have any problem with her working there as long as she is not hurt and works there on her free will.
Has anyone any similar experiences?

Everyone has different values. If you're asking for someone to say "Yea man it's no big deal"... then I think you'll have to search rather broadly for that sort of reassurance. Look, no one can tell you that it's okay or not okay to date an escort. But really ask yourself, "Is this what I want? Am I okay with dating someone who is selling her body?"

It is okay for you to be cool with it, but it's also okay for you NOT to be cool with it. You're only 20 years old, and she's only 19. I never even had a girlfriend at all at that age. And she is probably sleeping with men at least twice her age.

I could only tell you how I would feel about it if you were my younger brother or a nephew coming to me. I'd say: "You don't need that in your life. You have a lot of living to do and don't even need a GF right now. She's seeing a side of life that is not too pretty. She's gone down a path to which there are always alternatives and always better options. You can do better."

But again, I don't know you and couldn't tell you what to do. It's on you, man. But I think you're too young to assess this clearly and are better off playing it safe for now and staying away from her. And lay off the escorts. In fact, lay off porn too. That sort of stuff will ruin your idea of what a healthy sexual relationship should actually look like.

I assume you paid for her services? Well then you already can see how your relationship has started based on her services. And she services other men too. You're not in a good situation.

But again, you're a stranger on the internet who will probably just say "yo fuck this dude, I'll do what I want." So yea... do what you want.

Man this kinda has me down.

I guess I should probably focus on my own self confidence for a while though cos I'm really feeling a need to change everything up though

Rejection isn't a big deal. Just roll with it.

 

[Megalosaro]

Sounds like a big step. I've never done that with anyone before.

How do you feel about it?

After reading up on it more, I think it's a bad idea. But not because I don't trust her or anything. I'm the weak link

My credit score isn't great. Not because I mismanaged shit. When I was 18, my parents hit me up to take out credit cards in my name, saying they would build my credit. They were okay for a bit, but then tanked that shit hard.

I've been doing what I can to repair my credit, but even so my score is 570. Not great.

From what I've read, opening a joint account links your credit score. So, by doing this I'd be hurting her.

The idea I think wasn't a bad idea otherwise though. Saving together for joint stuff. Oh well.

 

[Ernest]

Shit, when it rains, it pours. Out of nowhere, through various friends and relations, I ended up meeting 5 different women who I hit it off with. Did a casual "hangout/coffee" meetups with all 5, 3 led to actual dates, all three led to 2nd dates (including confirmed physical comparability with all 3), with solid possibility of a 3rd date soon with each. But I need to whittle it down before I go further with either one, since I don't want to lead them on, and I'm honestly stumped how to do so, as I like them all equally, and no red flags for any of them. Good problem to have, I suppose, but a problem nonetheless. I don't like juggling different women - I've done it before when I was younger, don't want to repeat past mistakes/drama.

 

[Megalosaro]

Shit, when it rains, it pours. Out of nowhere, through various friends and relations, I ended up meeting 5 different women who I hit it off with. Did a casual "hangout/coffee" meetups with all 5, 3 led to actual dates, all three led to 2nd dates (including confirmed physical comparability with all 3), with solid possibility of a 3rd date soon with each. But I need to whittle it down before I go further with either one, sine I don't want to lead them on, and I'm honestly stumped how to do so, as I like them all equally, and no red flags for any of them. Good problem to have, I suppose, but a problem nonetheless. I don't like juggling different women - I've done it before when I was younger, don't want to repeat past mistakes/drama.

Nothing wrong with continuing to date all three. Just keep doing so until you can determine which ones you want to pursue, if any.

 

[Peltz]

After reading up on it more, I think it's a bad idea. But not because I don't trust her or anything. I'm the weak link

My credit score isn't great. Not because I mismanaged shit. When I was 18, my parents hit me up to take out credit cards in my name, saying they would build my credit. They were okay for a bit, but then tanked that shit hard.

I've been doing what I can to repair my credit, but even so my score is 570. Not great.

From what I've read, opening a joint account links your credit score. So, by doing this I'd be hurting her.

The idea I think wasn't a bad idea otherwise though. Saving together for joint stuff. Oh well.

Makes sense. If you explain it to her I'm sure she'll understand.

 

[Megauap]

Thanks for all the opinions!
Yes, we split drinks/meals 50/50 when we go out.
I'm happy with her for the moment so I will continue our relationship. I will stay alert in case she does something strange but things are going really well for now.

 

[artsi]

It's obviously just a temporary job, she will not make it a professional career. She just needs the money to be able to afford her studies.

It's cool if you're cool with it, I'm not judging. But I'd think "What about when she wants a new car", or a fancy bag, or whatever that she can't afford later on in her life even when she gets another job.

Just be prepared that it might not be that temporary in the end, if you end up dating long-term.

 

[LookAtMeGo]

Remember my neighbour that I wanted to ask out? I didnt. But this morning there was a note slid under my door and it was her asking to go have a drink sometime. I was right though, shes totally gay. Guna go have a drink with her tonight. She seems super cool.

 

[Disxo]

So, I secured some kind of reunion with some of her cousins to see a film this weekend.
Girl is really attractive in personality and looks, but I get the impression she is always nice to everyone.

I´ll need to see first hand if something comes out from that get-together and If I can secure an actual date, nothing is said and done yet.
I would try to not get too excited.

Spoiler

Fuuuck

 

[Krauser Kat]

I saw this and thought it might be helpful