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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already
- Thread starter gaiages
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Gotdatmoney
Member
Dating Age |OTRe:7| A Classic Story Retold
Damerman
Member
Wooooow.
On topic: i'm not really asking for advice on how to date, but rather how to make sure i don't end up dating this girl by accident.
So there is a girl i work with who is a temp and her contract is about to end. When she first started, i was the one who initiated conversation and befriended her. But i never wanted anything more because we work directly together and i don't find her physically attractive(i'm into thicker girls who workout, she is a skinny girl who doesn't workout). Over the past 4 or 5 months this girl has given me her number, wanted to become mutuals on instagram, rode in my car when we worked overtime on saturdays and wants to continue to hang out after her contract is done. Now i'm not concieted, in fact some times i have confidence issues, but i want to be sure that im not leading this girl on and i don't want to hurt her feelings and i don't want to bluntly tell her that i don't want to date her, because who knows what might happen. I do want to be friends and i like that she is school/career oriented because she brings out the more ambitious side of me.
I just wish we could be friends without her making it awkward because she doesn't do blantant advances, but she advances non the less. when its closer to the end of the week she is very nice to me and we have really fun conversations, but when monday hits, i feel like she is angry with me because she hardly talks to me and she gives me curt answers and weird glances. I'm not sure if its because she is grouchy on mondays and tuesdays or if she is just upset with the fact that i haven't asked her to hang out over for the weekend. She also gets visibly jealous when i interact with other women. There was this one time a very flirtatious girl pinched my love handles while i was talking to her and i saw her literally roll her eyes and put on a very annoyed smile. I'm doubting if i should maintain contact even after her contract ends, but i really want to be friends.
I'm ready for your harsh words.
Continue doing what you're doing. You haven't given her the impression that you like her as more than a friend. No need to preemptively shut her down. Maybe drop a 'I really value your friendship' line if you can do it without it being weird.
This is a big deal to people? I have like 700 mutual Instagram friends...
Messofanego
Banned
This one wins it for me.
names2hard4you
Member
For some reason to some girls it is "a step" lol. I know because I too questioned it, but noticed how big of a deal they make it seem when you follow each other. I guess it's cuz to some people, Instagram is a way of expressing themselves, sharing who they are, what they like, who they hang out with, etc.
Just my 2 cents.
Damerman
Member
Well, no one else i work with is mutuals with me on social media. She kind of insisted. She was like; "you should follow me on instagram"... i've never had it happen like that before so i might be over thinking that one.
I generally will not give out social media to co-workers except for LinkedIn. There's just too much possibility for fuckery, and TBH someone I work with doesn't need to know all about my personal life.
Anyway, Damerman, I'm not getting the sense that your co-worker would want to be just friends. Maybe try hanging out with her a few time outside of work with friends (maybe a happy hour or something like that if your work does that) and see how she acts. If she continues to put out jealous vibes/mannerisms, then you have your answer.
Anyway, Damerman, I'm not getting the sense that your co-worker would want to be just friends. Maybe try hanging out with her a few time outside of work with friends (maybe a happy hour or something like that if your work does that) and see how she acts. If she continues to put out jealous vibes/mannerisms, then you have your answer.
Bruce Springsteen
Member
Dating Age |OT7| Just fucking ask
Same, and I'm not even interested in dating. >.>
Perfection 😂
No, no, if that was the OT name we would get all the questions
I don't want to try and answer what that lump on someone's dick is, with excruciating detail as to every moment that happened in the dude's life up to this point.
you might think I'm joking but bruh
I want to read that shit.
Though to be fair, some of the stuff that gets posted in here deserves its own thread. All of GAF needs to hear about Jason'sUltimatum's dating woes and things like Cordy's story.
Maybe it's best that dick lumps get their own threads too.
Gotdatmoney
Member
The jokes just write themselves.
You don't gotta do anything. Until she either does something that actively fucks with a girl you wanna date or she comes clean you literally have no responsibility about this issue. Don't address it, don't think about it.
It's cool to be like "come to this party if you have nothing else going on" or "a bunch of us are going to the movies, wanna joing?". It would be mixed signals to say "come to my house and watch netflix"
Oh and an instagram follow means nothing. Its basically just an attention thing. People like having followers. Sometimes its fun to just see what people ya know are up to. But it doesn't mean anything.
It was said already, but it really is just a gamble of what kind of web sites you're using, what you're currently doing and where you're at in life, and where those other people are and what they're doing. And it is perfectly okay to take a break from that gamble and work on yourself. Develop some new hobbies, take dance lessons, hit the gym, etc. and then get back out there. I've been told that it is easier to find something you are looking for when you relax, stop looking for it, and just enjoy yourself.
EDIT: I see you've already replied to people! Damn it, my computer is so slow and I guess I didn't refresh the thread. Good on you! Also, it is in no way a red flag that you don't have your picture taken often. I don't know many people who constantly photograph themselves when they're out with their friends, they're usually too busy being out with their friends. Just try to get some done: maybe one with you and a cute animal, one where you're engaged in an interesting hobby you love or doing something you're passionate about, etc.
Ray Wonder
Founder of the Wounded Tagless Children
I told her I can't do this if she stays in contact with her ex, so she said she's cutting ties with her ex. I'm gonna keep going for a bit. If I get fucked over I'll come back and let you all know about how shitty I feel lol
ZackieChan
Member
I'm currently holding my breath.
The entire suicide thing should also be addressed. I'm not going to speculate as to whether it was a genuine attempt on her life or not, because regardless she should talk to a professional about it.
Cordy's girl in the far off future:
LMAO good one!
ZackieChan
Member
Cordy's girl in the far off future:
Even SHE had sex with Jack once!
I'm a lurker in GAF but when I saw your posts I just shook my head and HAVE to say something.
She broke up with her ex just a few days ago? Good! Leave her be, for at least 3 months. Let her sort out her own feelings. She NEEDS to be single. Hold your feelings for this girl and don't increase it and start having high hopes.
Look at Ray Wonder's situation. You can EASILY end up like him if you don't let her be single/sort out her feelings. She MAY say all this time she has been thinking about you, but now that she JUST broke up she's going to start thinking also "What have I missed with my ex? I miss doing this, that with him... It's not the same..." and probably get tingled. Be in a relationship with her now, and she'll start comparing you to her ex IF she hasn't got him out of her head (which is most likely at this point).
Give her space to breathe. Because it seems like to me, she had a bad argument with her ex, broke up and desperately needs someone else to cling to for love. Who else is there to cling on to? You. Easy target, considering she knew you had feelings for her.
Come on now, if she HAD feelings for you all this time, why wait until she broke up with her ex to tell you that. Because she was scared? If she really wanted to be with you, her being scared shouldn't get in the way, especially when she had feelings for you *for years*. If you confronted her about this issue 2 months ago, would she give out the same response?
I personally think this relationship isn't going to work in the first place because of 10 years etc., but the 10 years is not what I'm worried about. Give her space man.
He's giving her plenty of space. There's about 2500 miles between them.
I don't know man, she wasn't even in a real relationship so she's probably not reeling from the breakup.
But at the same time, giving her space in the general sense might really help, because I think right now it's all too much. I think that girl needs to not use cordy as an emotional crutch, which I really think will happen, if it hasn't already. Even putting aside absolutely everything else, dating someone that literally just got out of a relationship isn't the best idea
But at the same time, giving her space in the general sense might really help, because I think right now it's all too much. I think that girl needs to not use cordy as an emotional crutch, which I really think will happen, if it hasn't already. Even putting aside absolutely everything else, dating someone that literally just got out of a relationship isn't the best idea
I mean, I don't think he should even talk to the girl. I think he's kind of crazy, so I'm not disagreeing with you. He should find a girl that will see him more than once every 11 years.
radioactivez0r
Member
I mean, it worked for Elizabeth and Will. Arrrr.
Appreciate it.
Same with all the good responses, advice and opinions. Funny enough the day I make a post in here with a story it's fixed quickly so right now I don't really have anything else to say. I hope everything works out for everyone else with their relationships and if not, hope their next one is their best one.
Later y'all, thanks again I mean it. I'm outty 5000.
You're not asking for advice anymore, so I don't see any point in giving it to you. You're just going to keep doing what you're doing. I hope it works out in your favor, and I know either way you'll learn something, even if it's that some things just aren't feasible.
I appreciate your advice, but that's just your opinion.
But at the same time, giving her space in the general sense might really help, because I think right now it's all too much. I think that girl needs to not use cordy as an emotional crutch, which I really think will happen, if it hasn't already. Even putting aside absolutely everything else, dating someone that literally just got out of a relationship isn't the best idea
^ That's being too kind. It's dangerous. Not dangerous as in physically, but mentally and emotionally.
I will not be surprised that the girl starts talking about her ex to cordy at times.
EchoChamber
Member
Echo reporting in, I meet a girl a few days ago she seems fine and she laughs at my stupid jokes too, I just need to ask for her number but damn anxiety is a bitch hahaha.
names2hard4you
Member
Hope I'm wrong, and I know I'm late to this since he's gone, but Cordy's story REEKS of catfishery. Best of luck to you friend.
kopitarrulez_11
Member
Ok so finally got a number from tinder and we text back and forth but she seems to take forever to reply is that a red flag and also I haven't asked for a date yet was thinking of asking to do something this weekend what you think gaf also she lives about an hr away from me
ZackieChan
Member
Did you just send one long sentence? Or were there back and forth texts?
You shouldn't be going out to eat for first dates anyway. Wait until someone proves they're worth your time and money before going to expensive dinners.
If your texts are rambling like this, I would also be slow to respond. Also you aren't owed a quick response; this person doesn't know you. Just ask them out. No reason to text a bunch. Maybe ask to meet somewhere halfway if you don't feel like driving for an hour.
Ray Wonder
Founder of the Wounded Tagless Children
It will be, not this second, but I'll get to it. I don't want to be all demanding and pushy the day after I asked her to cut ties with her ex.
She might be busy, stop worrying so much about it. You're not that important to her, so if something else is going on in her life she's not going to make you priority over it. Also, use some punctuation.
hahaha
😂
I'm glad I decided to pop up in this thread for a quick minute.
Just set the tone for the day.
kopitarrulez_11
Member
I would ask a question or ask how her day was and nothing for 12hrs than bam response than I'd respond not right away but respond and than another 6 hrs of nothing lol.
Ray Wonder
Founder of the Wounded Tagless Children
You should ask her out, like you said, this weekend.
Hi, GAF.
There is a one girl at my university. I like her, she is a nice person, always ready to help. We chat pretty often, not that often in IRL, though. Sometimes she tells me that we mostly talk in internet. That because I'm stuttering when I'm nervous. It happens pretty often, sadly. If someone asks me about time I may struggle with the answer, mumble something, and no one will understand me. I'm trying to fix this problem, but no results yet. The interesting part is that I don't stutter at all when I speak in English or French, but my native language is Russian, so there is no other options.
What do you think, guys, what should I tell her?
There is a one girl at my university. I like her, she is a nice person, always ready to help. We chat pretty often, not that often in IRL, though. Sometimes she tells me that we mostly talk in internet. That because I'm stuttering when I'm nervous. It happens pretty often, sadly. If someone asks me about time I may struggle with the answer, mumble something, and no one will understand me. I'm trying to fix this problem, but no results yet. The interesting part is that I don't stutter at all when I speak in English or French, but my native language is Russian, so there is no other options.
What do you think, guys, what should I tell her?
Just ask her out.
She probably has a life and doesn't feel obligated to respond right away to a text from someone she hasn't even met asking her a banal question. JUst ask her out. If you keep up like this you're going to annoy/bore her and she'll probably just ghost.
She probably has a life and doesn't feel obligated to respond right away to a text from someone she hasn't even met asking her a banal question. JUst ask her out. If you keep up like this you're going to annoy/bore her and she'll probably just ghost.
Tell her you don't speak Russian? I guess it's too late for that though... can you see a speech therapist?
Maybe practice deep breathing and calming yourself down if it's a nervousness thing.
Yeah, it's too late, and not really an option. I had a therapist sessions last year, nothing has changed since then...
LordKasual
Banned
rofl
I'd ask for the date sooner rather than later. Usually if she gives you her number, that shouldn't really be hard to setup. But if she just stops texting you, delete the number and move on.
kopitarrulez_11
Member
You thinking coffee or drinks? I tried the dinner thing on my first date and felt awkward.
LordKasual
Banned
Drinks are always a good choice, especially if the bar has a grill if you get hungry. Or else you can find an activity to do, something that can steer conversation naturally. I don't really smoke, but i've had decent dates over hookah as well.
It's likely you don't know each other very well, so just eating dinner with a stranger is going to feel awkward. People say movies but those are even worse, there's little chance to speak to her and any contact initiated by you is going to be forced and awkward. Unless she suggests movies at her/your place, in which case you already know what the deal is.
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