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FANT4STIC 4OUR |OT| Fantastic 4/10

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Toa TAK

Banned

Directed by Josh Trank
Written by Simon Kinberg, Jeremy Slater, and Josh Trank
Music by Marco Beltrami, Phillip Glass, and Pete Anthony Not John Ottman
KFYnHRT.png

For the... 4 of you who may not know, the movie is about 5ive beautiful people going into another dimension and 2 out of 5 (not to be confused with the critic's score) come out Cronenberg-ugly. True to life, the angry online eco-terrorist who spams twitter wants to (rightfully) rid the world of human beings because of their sin[citation needed] infesting the once beautiful planet Earf. Ben Grimm (the sad one), after suffering years of PTSD induced by his abusive, clobbering brother, decides to stand for revenge along side his genius and stretchy (and I guess, kinky) best friend, his hot lady friend who may or may not be blonde, and her brother Tyrese Gibson gang up on the lonely nerd who only wanted to make the world a better place... for everyone who isn't human.

Now what you may not know is the incredible personal struggle these people go through individually and together as they learn to be under the whip of the United States Military for one. Doom's feelings of betrayal and loneliness as his so called friends leave him behind manifest itself into undying vengeance and the realization that he can change the world, just like his momma told him. Just like Reed Richards as a child, who's angry father never accepted anything he loved, with only his momma to hold back his full fury and a rubberband to release whatever stress Reed had as a teenager. Based on those repressed memories alone, Reed vows to change the world with his mind and body, just like his momma told him.

Oh, and I guess the Storm siblings just have to deal with having no mom or something. Storm Senior, having lost his wife in an adoption agency bombing by a crazed lunatic, vows to do right by his late wife by making their children, including the adopted Susan, into the very best minds the world will ever see. While Susan climbs the ranks, she only wishes to remain invisible as she's under constant harassment by co-workers invading her personal space. Johnny feels aimless and amiss as he sits back in the military facility lighting matches only to see the fire consume them in his hand realizing that his life is like the matchstick, being consumed by his father's expectations. Everything is daddy issues, this shit writes itself, I should've written this.

Also, there's no real action until the climax of the film, that way, you feel like the movie earned it or something. Like emotionally. You're more absorbed in these characters, I think. The music won't be action-packed either, it'll just be saddening because these people have to fight a former best-friend they didn't really treat as an equal so it'll be a shaking experience for them as they unite to end him. Their best friend who called himself DOOM. There won't be sound effects. Just slo-mo and music. Like something you'd see at Sundace, but with "superheroes".


Mr. Spectacular didn’t have the same ring.

No train can hurt her now.

Lusted by Andrew Garfield

Pants-less and looking to get his rocks off.
FfWCSOd.png



So a long, long, time ago we finally got some info on our beloved Dr. Doom. As if the troubled production wasn’t enough news to keep NeoGAF on edge about the film, this photo showed up and everyone was okay with it:
Didn't change him much, which is good. Maybe he should be a bit bigger.
It seems faithful enough, I like it.
I'm shocked by how close it looks. Me likey.
Looks nice.
Thankfully, people were pleased. I mean, could you imagine the reaction if people didn’t like it? Glad I don’t live in that alternate universe!
Fw723GP.png

Simon Kinberg, creator of the Kinbergverse
I have a lot of ideas of where I think it should go beyond this film. We've been so focused on getting this one right -- ultimately, that's the most important thing. For me, in future films, we'd want to really see what it's like to become a public celebrity superhero group, which is what the Fantastic Four were, essentially. They were known within the world and dealing with that in today's society would be interesting. It's something not a lot of movies have done in grounded ways.
-Source

Interesting, right? WRONG:

I couldn't even imagine plans for a sequel where they keep trying to make it "grounded" but also add in characters from the Fantastic Four who are outrageously unrealistic:

"Yeah, Namor in the sequel is just a guy who washes up on shore in a garbage bag. He thinks he's king of the sea, but that's actually just his Twitter handle.

Galactus is actually the name of a budding female actors union called Gal Act Us who come at war with the Fantastic Four over tax mitigation."


What NeoGAF is Saying:
Please take a really long time so the rights expire in 2014.
I can see why this went over like a wet fart at Comic-Con.
For comparisons sake:
fantastic4b.jpg
Dare to see it yourself?
Awful pacing, wooden acting, tonally all over the place, ridiculously bad attempts at humor, boring, one of the worst villains in a superhero film since whatever-the-fuck in Halle Berry's Catwoman, etc.

Thor 2's villain looks like original trilogy's Darth Vader against Doom.
Where else am I supposed to receive validation?
What Kate Mara is saying about her fan experience at Comic-Con:
"We spent a whole day there, sort of working and doing press, and you don't really get to meet the fans. So the next morning, Jamie Bell and I decided, 'Well, we want the experience of Comic-Con. So let's just go out, let's walk to get a coffee amongst all of the fans,'" Mara explained to Kelly Ripa and Michael Strahan. "And we were like, 'Well, maybe this is a bad idea. We'll get mobbed and it'll be crazy,' and not one person...not one person noticed us."
-Source


lGOlzQO.png

Official Website
Spoiler Thread

**Special Thanks to Quick for making the images above**
 

Alienous

Member
Wait, this one doesn't have Jessica Alba? So what's the 'Fantastic' in the title for?

Also: Fantastic 4/10 |OT| Nah, I think we'll stick with "no".

I gave you gold, OP.
 

tomtom94

Member
Kate Mara joke is excellent.

If you don't get it, go watch House of Cards

I concur that this OT has more effort than the film.
 
To quote one of my post..

Looking forward to the new TV review spots..

Tom Huddleston says:
"Frankly, it's amazing"

while Todd McCarthy proclaims:
"Fantastic Four feels like..a movie"

Jamie Dunn raves:
"This is a film that's barely begun"

and Brian Lowry agrees that Fantastic Four:
"Feels like a blockbuster--not an embarrassment"

Source..
.
 
thread title isn't great, but that kate mara joke is kind of depressing. i feel really bad for her and jamie.

it's not as bad as it sounds. hugh jackman walked around comic con once as wolverine and people didn't really pay him any attention either. surely he would not be called obscure.
 

Ahasverus

Member
It's sad because it seems that post production buitchered th film with reshoots, as many reviews say things like this:
for the first 45 minutes or so, ‘Fantastic Four’ is actually a lot of fun... ollowing a spot of genuinely unnerving body horror courtesy of Teller’s infinitely extendable arms, the second half is nothing more than a sub-‘Avengers’ roundelay of superhero tics: naff catchphrases, brain-grinding exposition and lifeless punch-ups, the talented cast totally overwhelmed by the duff CG special effects.
 

Toothless

Member
That story about Kate Mara at Comic Con. Holy shit lolol.

Might see this Saturday. Might see Trainwreck instead. I mean... I guess I'm getting a trainwreck either way.
 
The OP is, well - fantastic.

But I gotta admit, I don't get the title. I mean, I get that the Thing is interrupting the Beatles' song. I just don't know why.
 

Neoxon

Junior Member
That story about Kate Mara at Comic Con. Holy shit lolol.

Might see this Saturday. Might see Trainwreck instead. I mean... I guess I'm getting a trainwreck either way.
There are better movies to watch, like...
  • Trainwreck (like you said)
  • The Gift
  • Dragon Ball Z: Resurrection F (limited release)
  • Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation (if you haven't already)
  • Ant-Man (if you haven't already)
  • Inside Out (if you haven't already, it's actually still in theaters)
 

Xevren

Member
Screening this in the morning just because I'm a big Fantastic 4 fan comic wise even though I know what's coming. I just hope once in my life we'll get a decent movie for them :(
 
Why does every film (both F4 series now) feel the need to give Doom superpowers? For the most part, his "power" is that he's a fucking genius and manipulator. On occasion he uses that genius to give himself an advantage, but he doesn't need to have superpowers like the F4. He doesn't need to shoot lightning or control elements.
 

Rhaknar

The Steam equivalent of the drunk friend who keeps offering to pay your tab all night.
Why does every film (both F4 series now) feel the need to give Doom superpowers? For the most part, his "power" is that he's a fucking genius and manipulator. On occasion he uses that genius to give himself an advantage, but he doesn't need to have superpowers like the F4. He doesn't need to shoot lightning or control elements.

Doom does have powers tho, he's quite a good sorcerer
 

Toothless

Member
There are better movies to watch, like...
  • Trainwreck (like you said)
  • The Gift
  • Dragon Ball Z: Resurrection F (limited release)
  • Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation (if you haven't already)
  • Ant-Man (if you haven't already)
  • Inside Out (if you haven't already, it's actually still in theaters)

My avatar is Inside Out, haha. Of course I've seen it!

I'm catching The Gift next Tues, and I'm not a Dragon Ball Z fan. The others I've already seen besides Trainwreck, and I'm letting my friend pick what movie we're seeing. I'll see F4 in theaters at some point regardless; just might wait until cheapo Tuesday in a few weeks.

Also, Ant-Man wouldn't be a good movie in my measures, but I understand you liked it, so thanks for the suggestion anyway
 
Doom does have powers tho, he's quite a good sorcerer

Yeah, but all of his powers, including his sorcery, stem from his brilliance. He was taught to be a sorcerer. He's doesn't have "superpowers" in the same sense that the F4 do. He's not a big metal man who got powers. He's a brilliant scientist who uses his intellect to create advantages.
 

Korey

Member
What Kate Mara is saying about her fan experience at Comic-Con:
"We spent a whole day there, sort of working and doing press, and you don't really get to meet the fans. So the next morning, Jamie Bell and I decided, 'Well, we want the experience of Comic-Con. So let's just go out, let's walk to get a coffee amongst all of the fans,'" Mara explained to Kelly Ripa and Michael Strahan. "And we were like, 'Well, maybe this is a bad idea. We'll get mobbed and it'll be crazy,' and not one person...not one person noticed us."
-Source

This is legitimately the saddest thing I've read today
 
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