apology
I know these types of issues are thorny. I myself, am obviously extremely lucky to be a white dude. I dont know what fear of being outed as a gay person is and never will.
I wrote the post from my own experience. Ive used these services and have wanted to share things I couldnt, be more honest than I could and can be due to social norms around sex, dating and life. I approached the situation from that perspective which is obviously much different than the visceralness of being only 20 years of it being criminalized in the US. and still punishable by death in many places. I face only embarrassment or mild castigation for what I was basing my experience on. Im extremely careful about what I share online do to those mild fears. I meant to express that. Obviously, I, in the process of that, seemingly and unintentionally gave the impression, or did, downplay certain aspects of many people here. I understand that. Im sorry.
Though, I cant compare the two. I should have know better or realized how things would come out. On GAF there have been a few times where the issue of antisemtism has come up and I feel anger and contempt for people seemingly downplaying it. For people skirting around that issue to focus on another one that they cared more about. I did the same here. And I couldnt see that. Thats my fault and my error.
I knew what I was posting was likely to get some attention like that and I knew I was going to get victim blaming posts. But I thought something was missing from the discussion. I still think there is a lot missing from the discussion about privacy, especially on the internet and changing norms. But that doesnt need to be brought to every discussion. Privilege does that though, it blinds you and makes you feel like you need or should make a point which can be better made at other times, I should have known that as Ive learned a lot about that in my many years on GAF.
And I want to add that the doubling down kind of comes from the internet and its almost automatic. Nobody wants to be wrong. And with the ability to quote and selectively respond it feels worse because you feel like people arent being honest and twisting you into saying things you never said or feel. And just seeing all the green text overwhelms. And you end up going down a rabbit hole you never wanted to go down and sometimes saying things you didnt want to somehow 'win' or 'defend yourself'. There are still posts that I think misrepresent me but I cant fix them all, people take what they want to take from your words. Thats why you have to be careful with them. When they leave you mouth or keyboard you cant take them back or force someone to react a certain way.
Theres more I can say but I just wanted to post this. I walked into a hornets nest and got stung.
I really didnt mean anything to justify outing, and if I said anything like that Im sorry I was wrong. Poligaf is a home for me and I love how inclusive it is. And it's made me a better person and hopefully this will to. Didnt mean to upset this.
There are likely times in this post where I didnt own up fully or maybe said something wrong or that I shouldnt have. Feel free to point those out, Im open to doing better in the future and improving my blindness around many issues. GAF is good about that.
Post some gifs now.