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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already

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I've been talking this girl on tinder and asked her on a movie date, she said yeah. She asked me what film. Told her that I want to go split, the movie that's coming out tomorrow. She hasn't replied. So nothing.

Whatever, basically I was going to go by myself. But I was like why not.

- I have been talking to more women in person, small talk. But next. I need to ask some out and get more experience.

I want to have fun, No more desperation.

I asked the girl out to a movie and lunch, so we're watching Split.

Movie alone isn't a great date.
 
Yeah movies are bad early dates because it stops you talking and getting to know each other. Afterwards the temptation is to just talk about the movie AND if the movie is terrible, it could be considered a bad date.
 

N.Domixis

Banned
I though I was over with girls, but I just realized it was only because I was surrounded by guys all the time in engineering classes so girls never crossed my mind. There is a new girl were I work that has brought back old feelings. Damn it. Going to try to make sure I don't see her/look in her direction. Shes a 10, 0 chance for me.
 
I took the advice and downloaded the app again. Though I wish there were more options than just an app. It feels a little disconnected with apps and crap. I might as well see if I can learn more from the girls I do meet on the app.
 

jadedm17

Member
Good luck, let us know how it goes.

Met her at 6 PM, she was still getting ready so I had to keep her 90 lb Doberman thats only a year old entertained; Overall great chemistry, amazing conversation flow and some fun sharing of youtube music videos and games (Octodad and Portal) at my place, the whole dating was about 7 hours long so I'm going with optimistically a success.

The caveat being she is (beautifully in my mind) awkward and fresh (October) out of a 3.5 year relationship of an ex she still talks to - but wants to do other things than prioritize a relationship - so general body language (in my room, on my bed) wasn't easy to read but time spent and general lack of any conversational lapse tells me that just a quirk more than something to read into.

We were open from the start, with her mention of the ex being one of her first topics, and talk very openly of some personal things so I'll lay my intents out there for the next date and be open that I won't push anything but do find her attractive and someone I want to pursue romantically and not just a friend.

No matter the outcome today was an amazing time and I'll enjoy a peaceful sleep imagining the possibilities of the future wherever the dice may fall.

I though I was over with girls, but I just realized it was only because I was surrounded by guys all the time in engineering classes so girls never crossed my mind. There is a new girl were I work that has brought back old feelings. Damn it. Going to try to make sure I don't see her/look in her direction. Shes a 10, 0 chance for me.

I disagree with the mentality but admittedly it has gotten to me too.

Be confident, fun, optimistic but realistic and.... What's the worst to happen? "You miss all the shots you dont take" or something like that.

I love the mindset : No matter the outcome she at some point gave you that magical feeling of dreaming about what lies in your future.
Pursue it : It may not turn out how you want, but what if it does? Fight for that feeling.
 

FLAguy954

Junior Member
Why anyone with the minimum care for their job would use their I'm to talk dirty is beyond me LOL. I mean, you know your company holds records of those convos right? Situations like those may sound funny, but imagine having a meeting with your boss, and that pops up. I can't be the only one scratching my head here.

This. Who the fuck uses their work IM for sexting?
 

Scotch

Member
I though I was over with girls, but I just realized it was only because I was surrounded by guys all the time in engineering classes so girls never crossed my mind. There is a new girl were I work that has brought back old feelings. Damn it. Going to try to make sure I don't see her/look in her direction. Shes a 10, 0 chance for me.
Oh boy

No man, it's funny. Ha funny funny story. I mean that was the intention of course
Just ask her out already.
 
I though I was over with girls, but I just realized it was only because I was surrounded by guys all the time in engineering classes so girls never crossed my mind. There is a new girl were I work that has brought back old feelings. Damn it. Going to try to make sure I don't see her/look in her direction. Shes a 10, 0 chance for me.
You won't know it's a 0 chance if you don't ask her out. Put yourself out there, and who knows, she might click. If she rejects, hey, you don't have to pursue her anymore, so you can move on with your life. Why make life difficult?
 

efyu_lemonardo

May I have a cookie?
First tinder meeting in like...6 months? I don't remember the last time.

It seemed to be going fine but then the guy bailed after 20 minutes lmao. 😂

That happened to me once, it was lame as hell.

So after going on a dozen (mixed results) tinder/okc dates and getting laid a few times, I really feel like I've gotten a lot of "stuff" out of my system.

I'm not feeling as lonely or disconnected anymore. I feel sexually gratified, and desirable. It's nice!

Now though I feel like I see people for what they are with more clarity. I can distinguish things I like about them from things I don't much more easily without the sex goggles.

So to those that are having trouble with dates, it's still a worthwhile adventure. Don't worry about landing a winner so much as allowing yourself to learn and grow from these experiences.

I've certainly learned a lot from going on dates over the past year and a half, but it sounds like you've had WAY more success than I have.
I've been on about 3 dozen first dates (stopped counting a while ago) and almost zero second dates. There have been a total of about 3 girls I really felt I connected with and obviously the feeling wasn't mutual.

I know part of the problem for me is most of my friends have moved far away so there's much less of a support network, or just people to hang out with in a non romantic setting.
 
Yeah, I haven't had too many short dates. Certainly no one runs away, and even if I'm not attracted to them, I just try to have a good time.

I've had some really long dates - those were really great.
 

t1gerjaw

Member
Woke up feeling like shit today. Had a dream with my ex, she was already seeing other people, all that jazz.
Ended a 5 year relationship two weeks ago. I could not see any future with her, disliked her family, was scared as fuck about having a kid too.
I know it was for the best, and I missed my freedom, but sometimes I get sad about the whole thing.
I wish I could simply find someone new to swoop my world, but dating, in many aspects is a numbers game and I'm gonna get stomped.
 
Woke up feeling like shit today. Had a dream with my ex, she was already seeing other people, all that jazz.
Ended a 5 year relationship two weeks ago. I could not see any future with her, disliked her family, was scared as fuck about having a kid too.
I know it was for the best, and I missed my freedom, but sometimes I get sad about the whole thing.
I wish I could simply find someone new to swoop my world, but dating, in many aspects is a numbers game and I'm gonna get stomped.

Don't start dating until you are ready and when you are just relax and take your time.
 

DJwest

Member
How about no, she doesn't?

Yep. Hopefully rjc is still reading.

Might be she and her boyfriend aren't an item anymore. She is definitely interested in you.

WHY?

I don't think she is looking for friendship. I think 1- she didn't expect you to back off for real and that got her (more, if she was already) interested 2- it's not just you resigning that got her to make a move.
You shouldn't have apologized though.
Here's the rundown: when you made a move on her and she rejected you, once you handled it "like a boss" you ended up as the cool guy. She knew/felt this put her at a disadvantage so she brought you back to the starting point by guilt-tripping you, the most powerful most ancient way to passive-aggressively obtain something from anybody.
Basically she made it look like you backing off wasn't something that came to you naturally, but something you forced onto yourself in order to punish her. It makes no sense to apologize for something you didn't do: have you ever heard of someone accused of say, murder, going like "I didn't kill this guy but I'm sorry people think I did it"?
Damn bro. Your whole post has me questioning my entire life lol.
 

gaiages

Banned
...you wanted to take her to see a movie about a guy who abducts women? on a first date? Movies are terrible first dates to begin with, and that choice made it worse.

LMFAO

I though I was over with girls, but I just realized it was only because I was surrounded by guys all the time in engineering classes so girls never crossed my mind. There is a new girl were I work that has brought back old feelings. Damn it. Going to try to make sure I don't see her/look in her direction. Shes a 10, 0 chance for me.

Your self-confidence is blinding me

Maybe work on that and perhaps you'll notices that looks don't matter so much

Have you guys had feelings for multuple people all at once? If so then what did you do because I'm going through that feeling confused right now :(

Poly relationships exist :3~
 

knavish

Member
Hi All,

I thought i would share my story of dating over the past year.

I became single after 8 years with a great lady (5 years older than me). We got on like really well but after about 4 years our relationship stopped being physical. We tried to make it work over the remaining 4 years but Dec 2016 we chatted and together understood that we were two friends living together - we both deserved more than that.

Went on my first date via POF in Feb, great girl, super sexy but after two dates in a week - we get on great. Our last date on a Friday she says she wants me to meet her mum etc. Saturday comes and she decides its all too much and she bails. Ok no probs it was only two dates.

Date two - met a girl again on POF - we go raving and get wasted. After 1 date she sends me a message asking if she can move in for a short time. I said no, i wasn't ready for that at all.

I then take a few months off as clearly I wasn't ready for anything long term.

August 2016 i meet a girl on OkCupid. Cool chick, raver, very chilled but I don't quite fancy her. We have a couple of dates but i'm upfront with her about not wanting anything long term. She seems the same - I have a game weekend with one of the boys off GAF who I've known for years. She accuses me of sleeping around so I bail from that too.

I then have another break from dating as the experiences have been weird and quite frankly not for me. maybe I'm too picky.

Fast forward to October 2016 - back on OKcupid. Meet a girl and she seems great but she lives on another continent even though shes from the UK originally. we arrange a date but because of work she cancels on me twice. Usually I take that as shes not interested. But for some reason I message her randomly (3 weeks after our cancelled date) and we start texting. We've now texted all day every day - shes the first and last person i converse with daily. We've spent 8 weeks texting, no phone calls (I know GAF goes against everything you guys say).

Finally we meet about 3 weeks ago and its amazing. She's exactly as I expected, super intelligent, independent, into gaming and amazingly sexy - everything I like. We've now got into a relationship and its going great. She moves back home permanently soon too.

I just wanted to share my experience briefly with all of you guys that have had good and bad dates. I wasn't expecting to meet a lady like her, its blown me away. So chin up dudes, there is someone out there for you. Like most have said, you learn through the bad dates. Keep going and be yourselves!!
 

DeathoftheEndless

Crashing this plane... with no survivors!
...you wanted to take her to see a movie about a guy who abducts women? on a first date? Movies are terrible first dates to begin with, and that choice made it worse.

I took my gf to see Don't Breathe on our second date. I wouldn't have if I looked up the synopsis or parental warnings...
 
alright Gaf help a homeboy out. So i met this chick a 2 years ago but she had bf at the time i made it clear that was interested in her if she ever became single and we stayed friends for a while, but we ended up having to stop talking because her bf got jealous and that was the end of it in my mind. fast forward six months later and shes hits me up out of nowhere we start texting normally and then I ask her why shes texting me and she said things have changed. So im going to met her this sunday and I really dont know what to expect since im not even sure if shes single or if she just wants to reconnect as friends or if she actually likes me.
 

Salamando

Member
I took my gf to see Don't Breathe on our second date. I wouldn't have if I looked up the synopsis or parental warnings...

First date though. They haven't met yet and he's bringing up movies about women abduction. Not the best play.

Movies should never be a first date anyway, unless you'll be watching them from your car's backseat or someone's bed.
 

Lulubop

Member
alright Gaf help a homeboy out. So i met this chick a 2 years ago but she had bf at the time i made it clear that was interested in her if she ever became single and we stayed friends for a while, but we ended up having to stop talking because her bf got jealous and that was the end of it in my mind. fast forward six months later and shes hits me up out of nowhere we start texting normally and then I ask her why shes texting me and she said things have changed. So im going to met her this sunday and I really dont know what to expect since im not even sure if shes single or if she just wants to reconnect as friends or if she actually likes me.

Do you mind just being friends? Are you hoping it's a date? Why don't you clarify with her before you waste your time bruh.
 
alright Gaf help a homeboy out. So i met this chick a 2 years ago but she had bf at the time i made it clear that was interested in her if she ever became single and we stayed friends for a while, but we ended up having to stop talking because her bf got jealous and that was the end of it in my mind. fast forward six months later and shes hits me up out of nowhere we start texting normally and then I ask her why shes texting me and she said things have changed. So im going to met her this sunday and I really dont know what to expect since im not even sure if shes single or if she just wants to reconnect as friends or if she actually likes me.

Just meet her and get the basics. Are you single? If yes, okay lets go on a date. If no, bye brah.

At this point just meet and asknfor what you want. Nothing more you can do.
 

WolfeTone

Member
Vancouver. Apparently everyone there's all coked up.



At minimum, low self-esteem. Leeness paints herself as some horrible lizard person, when gaffers who've met her describe her as quite nice.

Ah right, Vancouver. Thanks. Wonder if we have any people here with success stories from there

Vancouver isn't so bad. Lots of young people here and there's a large migrant population (including myself) coming to and from the city constantly so there's always fresh people to date.

I've heard from a lot of my dates that most Vancouver dudes are a bunch of chumps though so that could be a factor. In general I just think that close to 90% of dudes have straight up terrible interpersonal and dating skills, it's not necessarily a Vancouver thing.
 
I've been talking this girl on tinder and asked her on a movie date, she said yeah. She asked me what film. Told her that I want to go split, the movie that's coming out tomorrow. She hasn't replied. So nothing.

Maybe she thought you wanted to split the cost of the movie?
 
Hello it's me again !

I have this "crush" that I liked a lot during high school but felt like she didn't click with me, now we are both in (different) college, but she seems like to appreciate me way more when we talk on facebook. Before I was always the one to start conversation and she feels like bored of me quickly. these last weeks that was really the opposite, we talked a lot and now, she asked if I can go to bowling or movies with her after the finals, the thing I don't know is that she is talking about seeing me alone or with her friends (because we talked about that just before) but if it isn't the case I think I will go to the movies with her and maybe settle things with her. But to be honest I've never "dated" someone in this situation so I don't know how it will work out. Well what do you think guys ?
 
Hello it's me again !

I have this "crush" that I liked a lot during high school but felt like she didn't click with me, now we are both in (different) college, but she seems like to appreciate me way more when we talk on facebook. Before I was always the one to start conversation and she feels like bored of me quickly. these last weeks that was really the opposite, we talked a lot and now, she asked if I can go to bowling or movies with her after the finals, the thing I don't know is that she is talking about seeing me alone or with her friends (because we talked about that just before) but if it isn't the case I think I will go to the movies with her and maybe settle things with her. But to be honest I've never "dated" someone in this situation so I don't know how it will work out. Well what do you think guys ?

Think about what exactly?

Ask her if you're going bowling alone or with friends and if she says with friends, make a point to ask her out on a date. Actually say let's go on a date. Movie date, coffee date, cake date, walking date... just make sure to say the word date.
 

WolfeTone

Member
Hello it's me again !

I have this "crush" that I liked a lot during high school but felt like she didn't click with me, now we are both in (different) college, but she seems like to appreciate me way more when we talk on facebook. Before I was always the one to start conversation and she feels like bored of me quickly. these last weeks that was really the opposite, we talked a lot and now, she asked if I can go to bowling or movies with her after the finals, the thing I don't know is that she is talking about seeing me alone or with her friends (because we talked about that just before) but if it isn't the case I think I will go to the movies with her and maybe settle things with her. But to be honest I've never "dated" someone in this situation so I don't know how it will work out. Well what do you think guys ?

It's ambiguous right now. If you had a crush on her you should have asked her out at the time, but that's in the past and doesn't help with your current situation now.

Don't ask her before you meet up whether or not your meeting is a date. Just roll with it. Show that you're cool with it either way.

If you haven't set a time and place for this after finals meeting yet, make sure you're the one to do it. Being assertive and proposing an exact time and place is attractive.

Do it like this:

"Let's go on a bowling date on Friday at 6pm. Meet me on X Street."

Don't say:

"Hey so do you still want to go to bowling or to the movies? I'm cool with either. What day works for you? I can pretty much meet any time you're free."
 

Kyne

Member
I think Miles and I gave you pretty similar advice. Ask her on a date.

I'm sorry, you can't just take the thread title and throw it in everyone's face. It's not like 95% of the issues people have can be solved with one simple line.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
 

Salamando

Member
I'm sorry, you can't just take the thread title and throw it in everyone's face. It's not like 95% of the issues people have can be solved with one simple line.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

And the other 5% certainly doesn't involve telling people "you're overthinking"
 

WolfeTone

Member
right but one miles says that I should said clearly to her this is date which is not your case haha

I'm unclear from reading your original post whether or not this meeting is already set up.

If it isn't set up already, then you have the opportunity to organize the time and place and invite her to it as a date. Use the word date when you do this like Miles said.

If it's already set up and you're meeting Monday at whatever time and whatever place, then it's ambiguous and you just kinda have to go and roll with it. But if you show up and it's just the two of you, treat it like a date by flirting with her and initiating physical contact (I hate saying this because it makes me sound like a pick up artist, but touch the girl on a date, even if it's just on the shoulder or something).

I'm sorry, you can't just take the thread title and throw it in everyone's face. It's not like 95% of the issues people have can be solved with one simple line.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Sorry Kyne. I know I'm breaking the rules. I'll try to be more vague with my advice in future :)
 
So ive been seeing this girl now for a few weeks. Shes amazing, vibrant and cheerful lady. Im not a relationship kinda guy, but after meeting her a few months back i instantly knew this one lady is a keeper.

I even said to my friends as a New Years goal, that i would like to have a steady relationship with her. My friends thought i was crazy as i never spoke about women the way i do about her.

Today we were on a date and talking about serious stuff and told her how i really felt about her. She started hugging me and said she had something to share as well. She has cancer.

Im fkkn broken now, just needed to vent.
 

dcelw540

Junior Member
Heard it's a good movie, I wanted to go see it. So like I said, I was going to go by myself and since she told me that she doesn't do much/ go out. I was like you want to go ? so yeah



I also wanted to go see la la land because that's also good, but would think that film would kinda be awkward with all the romance and split just seemed like a film that would be interesting and surprising being a thriller. But oh well, One ticket please...

No way man see la la land! I saw it alone and no lie I loved it.
 

dcelw540

Junior Member
So ive been seeing this girl now for a few weeks. Shes amazing, vibrant and cheerful lady. Im not a relationship kinda guy, but after meeting her a few months back i instantly knew this one lady is a keeper.

I even said to my friends as a New Years goal, that i would like to have a steady relationship with her. My friends thought i was crazy as i never spoke about women the way i do about her.

Today we were on a date and talking about serious stuff and told her how i really felt about her. She started hugging me and said she had something to share as well. She has cancer.

Im fkkn broken now, just needed to vent.

Dude I'm so sorry :( be with her still if you feel you can handle that. What type of cancer and what stage is it at?
 
Dude I'm so sorry :( be with her still if you feel you can handle that. What type of cancer and what stage is it at?

She had cancer cells removed multiple times but it keeps coming back.

I want to be with her, the way i feel around her, i havent felt like this for over 6-7 years. She is amazing man, the more i know and find out what shes been through and still is going through makes me respect and appreciate her even more.

I dont know what to do.
 

WolfeTone

Member
So ive been seeing this girl now for a few weeks. Shes amazing, vibrant and cheerful lady. Im not a relationship kinda guy, but after meeting her a few months back i instantly knew this one lady is a keeper.

I even said to my friends as a New Years goal, that i would like to have a steady relationship with her. My friends thought i was crazy as i never spoke about women the way i do about her.

Today we were on a date and talking about serious stuff and told her how i really felt about her. She started hugging me and said she had something to share as well. She has cancer.

Im fkkn broken now, just needed to vent.

Christ, that is heartbreaking.

Cold hearted bastard advice maybe, but as a man who is much better off single, I'm often tempted into monogamous relationships when I meet someone I think is special. I convince myself that this time will be different. For me, that feeling always wears off after a few months and I start to miss the single life. Ends in a breakup.

Obviously your experience is your own and you know yourself better than I do. You have a tough choice.
 
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