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[Advocatus Diaboli]

No way man see la la land! I saw it alone and no lie I loved it.

La La Land was an incredible movie. To be honest, all of Ryan Gosling's filmography is. Not even lying.

Pro-tip: After you take a girl to see La La Land, watch Crazy Stupid Love. (Spoilers for both movies:

Spoiler

It's the one where Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone actually get together.

)

 

[FyreWulff]

She had cancer cells removed multiple times but it keeps coming back.

I want to be with her, the way i feel around her, i havent felt like this for over 6-7 years. She is amazing man, the more i know and find out what shes been through and still is going through makes me respect and appreciate her even more.

I dont know what to do.

If you like her, then go for a relationship. If you spend your life trying to optimize for the "easiest" relationship then you'll never get anywhere.

 

[Armadilo]

Today I went to the movies alone, the movie was ok. Not worth it but whatever. I went to a coffee place later and they had live music thing going on. I gathered some courage and I talked this girl who was sitting by herself. I was a bit awkward but still had a conversation. Next time I should have walked her to her car since she had to leave.

Proud that I actually talked to this girl. Hoping for good luck

 

[Mory Dunz]

Today I went to the movies alone, the movie was ok. Not worth it but whatever. I went to a coffee place later and they had live music thing going on. I gathered some courage and I talked this girl who was sitting by herself. I was a bit awkward but still had a conversation. Next time I should have walked her to her car since she had to leave.

Proud that I actually talked to this girl. Hoping for good luck

Did the situation call for that?
If you two were comfortable enough to walk to her car (at night i assume) then you could've probably could've gotten a number. Was she lingering/meandering at least?

 

[Armadilo]

Did the situation call for that?
If you two were comfortable enough to walk to her car (at night i assume) then you could've probably could've gotten a number. Was she lingering/meandering at least?

I should have but ended it like that, next time I'll do it better

 

[WolfeTone]

Today I went to the movies alone, the movie was ok. Not worth it but whatever. I went to a coffee place later and they had live music thing going on. I gathered some courage and I talked this girl who was sitting by herself. I was a bit awkward but still had a conversation. Next time I should have walked her to her car since she had to leave.

Proud that I actually talked to this girl. Hoping for good luck

Sounds like you did good. Ask for her number next time.

Walking someone to her car might seem a bit forward and could seem potentially dangerous to a woman if she doesn't know you well.

 

[Go_Ly_Dow]

Hello, looking for some more perspective on a situation with a girl.

I'm living in Japan and have a very close relationship with a fellow English teacher (we don't work at the same school). We are both new teachers and moved here in August, our apartments are about a 2-3 min walk apart so naturally we formed a bond. We hang out together several times a week, but recently, this has ramped up quite a bit and our relationship has also gotten more physical.

We usually go round each others places, cook together, watch dramas, talk and now have tickle fights and general physical playfighting. She's also cool with me giving her head/neck massages and we cuddle up a bit sometimes whilst we watch something. She also asks me to tuck her in to bed as her father does it for her, I find this bit quite weird, but we usually have a good laugh about it.

Now I'm ridiculously bad at reading romantic signs or plucking up the courage to make the move. My friends tell me that the recent physical advancement in our relationship means she's clearly in to me, but I'm in denial about it since I've never had luck with women.

I am into her, she's attractive, funny, interesting, smart and caring. Not infatuated (like lose sleep thinking about her), but I do like her a lot.

I just don't want to ruin what we have since we don't have family or many close friends out here. We support each other a bit. But I also don't want to regret not finding out if we could be more.

Any advice would be appreciated.

 

[ZackieChan]

Today I went to the movies alone, the movie was ok. Not worth it but whatever. I went to a coffee place later and they had live music thing going on. I gathered some courage and I talked this girl who was sitting by herself. I was a bit awkward but still had a conversation. Next time I should have walked her to her car since she had to leave.

Proud that I actually talked to this girl. Hoping for good luck

Don't walk her to her car. If the conversation is awkward, I don't know if I'd ask for a number. But it can't hurt.

You did good. You were brave. Work on your conversation skills so they're not awkward, and you'll be on the way to doing a "coffee close" or whatever the hell Pickup Artists call it 😉

But walking a girl to her car that you just met and didn't click with, especially when she doesn't request that, is weird.

Hello, looking for some more perspective on a situation with a girl.

I'm living in Japan and have a very close relationship with a fellow English teacher (we don't work at the same school). We are both new teachers and moved here in August, our apartments are about a 2-3 min walk apart so naturally we formed a bond. We hang out together several times a week, but recently, this has ramped up quite a bit and our relationship has also gotten more physical.

We usually go round each others places, cook together, watch dramas, talk and now have tickle fights and general physical playfighting. She's also cool with me giving her head/neck massages and we cuddle up a bit sometimes whilst we watch something. She also asks me to tuck her in to bed as her father does it for her, I find this bit quite weird, but we usually have a good laugh about it.

Now I'm ridiculously bad at reading romantic signs or plucking up the courage to make the move. My friends tell me that the recent physical advancement in our relationship means she's clearly in to me, but I'm in denial about it since I've never had luck with women.

I am into her, she's attractive, funny, interesting, smart and caring. I'm not infatuated, but I do like her.

I just don't want to ruin what we have since we don't have family or many close friends out here. We support each other a bit. But I also don't want to regret not finding out if she does want more.

Any advice would be appreciated.

No offense, but this sounds like what a 6 year old thinks a romantic relationship is. I don't even think it's a cultural thing, going by my admittedly limited experience in Tokyo, at least with a girl you click with

Spoiler

had long first date going to multiple places that ended with a kiss, second date was dinner that ended spending a night at a love hotel 😏

I would stop with the cutesy touching and move to romantic/adult touching. Put your hand on her thigh when you're watching a movie, put your arm around her lower back/hips, hold her hand, something that signals romantic interest. If she pulls away, maybe she doesn't feel the same way as you. But at least you know it.

For example, on my first date in the spoiler above, I would put my hand on her hip/waist when going up an escalator and held her hand while we ate at a cafe. You just gotta do it. And massage more than her head/shoulders. Back, butt, whatever.

 

[vypek]

Hello, looking for some more perspective on a situation with a girl.

I'm living in Japan and have a very close relationship with a fellow English teacher (we don't work at the same school). We are both new teachers and moved here in August, our apartments are about a 2-3 min walk apart so naturally we formed a bond. We hang out together several times a week, but recently, this has ramped up quite a bit and our relationship has also gotten more physical.

We usually go round each others places, cook together, watch dramas, talk and now have tickle fights and general physical playfighting. She's also cool with me giving her head/neck massages and we cuddle up a bit sometimes whilst we watch something. She also asks me to tuck her in to bed as her father does it for her, I find this bit quite weird, but we usually have a good laugh about it.

Now I'm ridiculously bad at reading romantic signs or plucking up the courage to make the move. My friends tell me that the recent physical advancement in our relationship means she's clearly in to me, but I'm in denial about it since I've never had luck with women.

I am into her, she's attractive, funny, interesting, smart and caring. Not infatuated (like lose sleep thinking about her), but I do like her a lot.

I just don't want to ruin what we have since we don't have family or many close friends out here. We support each other a bit. But I also don't want to regret not finding out if we could be more.

Any advice would be appreciated.

I think this is a situation where the veterans of the thread will point you to the thread title and tell you to ask her out and explicitly use the word "date" in there. Even if you are rejected the chances of you ruining what you have are low as long as you play it cool

EDIT: I like Zackie's idea.

 

[ZackieChan]

I think this is a situation where the veterans of the thread will point you to the thread title and tell you to ask her out and explicitly use the word "date" in there. Even if you are rejected the chances of you ruining what you have are low as long as you play it cool

They're already at like step 3 - bring her back to your place. I have a feeling he's read too many of those "Japanese people don't like sex" articles and is projecting that ridiculous notion on her. Make your move like a boss, buddy.

 

[Scotch]

They're already at like step 3 - bring her back to your place. I have a feeling he's read too many of those "Japanese people don't like sex" articles and is projecting that ridiculous notion on her. Make your move like a boss, buddy.

From the story it doesn't seem like she's Japanese, though.

Also, correct me if I'm wrong but I think he's saying they're not in a romantic relationship. It sounds like they've been close friends for at least a couple of months, which complicates things a bit. It's not like they're dating and he's asking how to proceed.
At least, that's what I'm assuming when M_Night talks of a "very close relationship" where "getting more physical" means tickling eachother.

Anyway, I'd continue with getting more physical, while looking for an opportunity to kiss her. Or ask her out on a real date. Don't proclaim your love for her like you're in some Hollywood romcom. Real life doesn't work that way.

 

[Messofanego]

Hello, looking for some more perspective on a situation with a girl.

I'm living in Japan and have a very close relationship with a fellow English teacher (we don't work at the same school). We are both new teachers and moved here in August, our apartments are about a 2-3 min walk apart so naturally we formed a bond. We hang out together several times a week, but recently, this has ramped up quite a bit and our relationship has also gotten more physical.

We usually go round each others places, cook together, watch dramas, talk and now have tickle fights and general physical playfighting. She's also cool with me giving her head/neck massages and we cuddle up a bit sometimes whilst we watch something. She also asks me to tuck her in to bed as her father does it for her, I find this bit quite weird, but we usually have a good laugh about it.

Now I'm ridiculously bad at reading romantic signs or plucking up the courage to make the move. My friends tell me that the recent physical advancement in our relationship means she's clearly in to me, but I'm in denial about it since I've never had luck with women.

I am into her, she's attractive, funny, interesting, smart and caring. Not infatuated (like lose sleep thinking about her), but I do like her a lot.

I just don't want to ruin what we have since we don't have family or many close friends out here. We support each other a bit. But I also don't want to regret not finding out if we could be more.

Any advice would be appreciated.

This is a DDLG relationship, isn't it...

 

[Blackquill]

Shit, the girl I was supposed to meet in a week said she's coming with a friend of her (who I know), is it kill?

 

[bluethree]

Shit, the girl I was supposed to meet in a week said she's coming with a friend of her (who I know), is it kill?

Did you specifically say "date" and she's pulling this anyway? If you want to meet her one on one, say so.

 

[Blackquill]

Did you specifically say "date" and she's pulling this anyway? If you want to meet her one on one, say so.

No, I really don't know how to say so I didn't talk to her since she asked me to go to the movies with her

 

[deletethis123]

So right now I'm confused as to how to proceed. A couple of yours ago I started dating this girl (I was clear with my intentions from the beginning) and about after a month of dating she said she didn't want a relationship but was okay with us being friends and well, I cut contact for a while since I really didn't want a friendship. She looked for me from time to time and we started talking albeit very little early last year.

Mid last year I asked her a couple of trivial things about movies and the next day a mutual friend told me about a dream she had in which she fell asleep in my arms. I talked more with him and he told me to not pursue anything anyways because it probably was a one off and she's not interested.

Still, we continued talking and met at her place, empty house (she still lives with her parents) but nothing happened and we didn't talk anything.

I stopped talking again and during her birthday she was looking for me all the time until she got passed out drunk. We started going out again last week and are supposed to meet tomorrow, but unlike the last time I haven't been explicit regarding my intentions. She seems to send me mixed signals from time to time and at this point I don't know what to do.

I don't think I want to go the 'just as friends' this time either so I'll probably have to find a tactful way to decline if she proposes that, but some of her attitude has been pointing towards other things, particularly her looking for me and telling my mutual friends stuff (although her intentions have never been explicit).

 

[dreamcastmaster]

Sounds like she does not know what she wants and is just playing with you. You've dated once and it didn't work out, from her behavior now do you think it would work out a 2nd time? Move on, don't be her plaything.

 

[SpiritSlayer]

Hey guys I have a quick question. At this place where I frequent there's a girl that works there. I talk to her pretty regularly whenever I see her there so we're not complete strangers. This past outing was a little different though I guess. While I'm there she hears the chime my phone makes when I get a text and apparently it gets stuck in her head and she tries to whistle it. She lets me know this but also tells me she can't whistle it. She asks if I can whistle it, so I do and apparently she was really impressed by it. She tried to whistle again but still couldn't do it. We laugh about it and I go about my business. Later on when we were talking again I told her what one of the ringtones for my phone was and she almost immediately calls my phone to hear it.

So my questions are: Is she showing interest? Did she want me to help teach her how to whistle? Am I overthinking this? Why is this so complicated?

Thanks for the help guys.

 

[Messofanego]

Hey guys I have a quick question. At this place where I frequent there's a girl that works there. I talk to her pretty regularly whenever I see her there so we're not complete strangers. This past outing was a little different though I guess. While I'm there she hears the chime my phone makes when I get a text and apparently it gets stuck in her head and she tries to whistle it. She lets me know this but also tells me she can't whistle it. She asks if I can whistle it, so I do and apparently she was really impressed by it. She tried to whistle again but still couldn't do it. We laugh about it and I go about my business. Later on when we were talking again I told her what one of the ringtones for my phone was and she almost immediately calls my phone to hear it.

So my questions are: Is she showing interest? Did she want me to help teach her how to whistle? Am I overthinking this? Why is this so complicated?

Thanks for the help guys.

She wants to blow your whistle.

 

[gaiages]

No, I really don't know how to say so I didn't talk to her since she asked me to go to the movies with her

You... ask them out on a date. I mean... I understand feeling nervous about it, but 'not knowing how' isn't quite applicable.

Do you usually have this much trouble? No offense, but that might be what's stunting your online dating game.

Then again, I know English is not your first language if I remember correctly, so maybe something's getting lost in the translation.

So right now I'm confused as to how to proceed. A couple of yours ago I started dating this girl (I was clear with my intentions from the beginning) and about after a month of dating she said she didn't want a relationship but was okay with us being friends and well, I cut contact for a while since I really didn't want a friendship. She looked for me from time to time and we started talking albeit very little early last year.

Mid last year I asked her a couple of trivial things about movies and the next day a mutual friend told me about a dream she had in which she fell asleep in my arms. I talked more with him and he told me to not pursue anything anyways because it probably was a one off and she's not interested.

Still, we continued talking and met at her place, empty house (she still lives with her parents) but nothing happened and we didn't talk anything.

I stopped talking again and during her birthday she was looking for me all the time until she got passed out drunk. We started going out again last week and are supposed to meet tomorrow, but unlike the last time I haven't been explicit regarding my intentions. She seems to send me mixed signals from time to time and at this point I don't know what to do.

I don't think I want to go the 'just as friends' this time either so I'll probably have to find a tactful way to decline if she proposes that, but some of her attitude has been pointing towards other things, particularly her looking for me and telling my mutual friends stuff (although her intentions have never been explicit).

Honestly, you won't know unless you ask her. I'd just ask her what she wants flat out and go from there, you seem to have your head on right about the other stuff

Hey guys I have a quick question. At this place where I frequent there's a girl that works there. I talk to her pretty regularly whenever I see her there so we're not complete strangers. This past outing was a little different though I guess. While I'm there she hears the chime my phone makes when I get a text and apparently it gets stuck in her head and she tries to whistle it. She lets me know this but also tells me she can't whistle it. She asks if I can whistle it, so I do and apparently she was really impressed by it. She tried to whistle again but still couldn't do it. We laugh about it and I go about my business. Later on when we were talking again I told her what one of the ringtones for my phone was and she almost immediately calls my phone to hear it.

So my questions are: Is she showing interest? Did she want me to help teach her how to whistle? Am I overthinking this? Why is this so complicated?

Thanks for the help guys.

Uh, I mean... I don't really think so? It's just a ringtone, lol. People have to be friendly in customer service work, and a lot of people take that as flirting for whatever reason. Trying to whistle a ringtone doesn't seem like a "I wanna date you" sign.

The real question is how does she have your phone number

 

[ZackieChan]

From the story it doesn't seem like she's Japanese, though.

Also, correct me if I'm wrong but I think he's saying they're not in a romantic relationship. It sounds like they've been close friends for at least a couple of months, which complicates things a bit. It's not like they're dating and he's asking how to proceed.
At least, that's what I'm assuming when M_Night talks of a "very close relationship" where "getting more physical" means tickling eachother.

Anyway, I'd continue with getting more physical, while looking for an opportunity to kiss her. Or ask her out on a real date. Don't proclaim your love for her like you're in some Hollywood romcom. Real life doesn't work that way.

Damn, you're probably right. Advice still applies, though.

 

[Blackquill]

You... ask them out on a date. I mean... I understand feeling nervous about it, but 'not knowing how' isn't quite applicable.

Do you usually have this much trouble? No offense, but that might be what's stunting your online dating game.

Then again, I know English is not your first language if I remember correctly, so maybe something's getting lost in the translation.

Yeah it's not my first language but I don't really think it's the problem. I guess I was just too shy to ask her since she is really someone who I care a lot about, don't have that kind of trouble with girls on dating apps.

I've never been in this situation where I am with another person and the girl I want to date so that's why I'm kind of wondering if it's still possible

 

[No_Style]

Hey guys I have a quick question. At this place where I frequent there's a girl that works there. I talk to her pretty regularly whenever I see her there so we're not complete strangers. This past outing was a little different though I guess. While I'm there she hears the chime my phone makes when I get a text and apparently it gets stuck in her head and she tries to whistle it. She lets me know this but also tells me she can't whistle it. She asks if I can whistle it, so I do and apparently she was really impressed by it. She tried to whistle again but still couldn't do it. We laugh about it and I go about my business. Later on when we were talking again I told her what one of the ringtones for my phone was and she almost immediately calls my phone to hear it.

So my questions are: Is she showing interest? Did she want me to help teach her how to whistle? Am I overthinking this? Why is this so complicated?

Thanks for the help guys.

I dont wonder about the other person showing interest or not. If I like them, I will ask them out and if they happen to like me as well, great! Are you okay with potential awkward outcomes? If so, after your next little chat:

"Hey, are you doing anything after work? Wanna grab a bite to eat/go for drinks/coffee?"

If she rejects you, you can still go back to the place if you just shrug it off and respond with "Eh. I tried." *Smile.* "Have a good one. See you next time."

 

[TangerineCloud]

Okay, so I've been talking to a woman I met on OkCupid for about a week and a half now. It's been sorta difficult to get a read on her due to her rather formal manner of speaking, but overall I get the impression that she likes me. We've texted back-and-forth a bunch and currently have a date scheduled for this Saturday.

On Friday, though, she went out with some friends, got turnt, drunk texted me, and sorta poured her heart out to me. Basically admitted that she really liked me and wanted to meet up sooner than Saturday (she even specifically told me to follow up on this later), among other things. Considering how difficult it was to read this woman's feelings toward me in our normal conversations, I was pretty flattered by all of this.

However, since this little incident, she's seemed sorta hesitant to talk. We had a very brief chat yesterday, but nothing substantial. We usually text each other throughout the day, so that exchange felt palpably weird and different

I'm just wondering if I should keep trying to text her or if I should just leave her alone until she initiates again. Normally I'd just go with the latter and leave her be for a while, but one of the things she made sure impress upon on me while drunk texting was that I should be persistent even if she seems distant because even though she tries to seem aloof and independent, she's a total tease and actually really likes it when I try to pursue her. I guess I'm just not sure how much stock I should put into what her drunk self says.

Advice?

 

[Moozo]

Okay, so I've been talking to a woman I met on OkCupid for about a week and a half now. It's been sorta difficult to get a read on her due to her rather formal manner of speaking, but overall I get the impression that she likes me. We've texted back-and-forth a bunch and currently have a date scheduled for this Saturday.

On Friday, though, she went out with some friends, got turnt, drunk texted me, and sorta poured her heart out to me. Basically admitted that she really liked me and wanted to meet up sooner than Saturday (she even specifically told me to follow up on this later), among other things. Considering how difficult it was to read this woman's feelings toward me in our normal conversations, I was pretty flattered by all of this.

However, since this little incident, she's seemed sorta hesitant to talk. We had a very brief chat yesterday, but nothing substantial. We usually text each other throughout the day, so that exchange felt palpably weird and different

I'm just wondering if I should keep trying to text her or if I should just leave her alone until she initiates again. Normally I'd just go with the latter and leave her be for a while, but one of the things she made sure impress upon on me while drunk texting was that I should be persistent even if she seems distant because even though she tries to seem aloof and independent, she's a total tease and actually really likes it when I try to pursue her. I guess I'm just not sure how much stock I should put into what her drunk self says.

Advice?

She's probably just embarrassed. If you leave her totally alone she'll likely think she's scared you off so it might not be best to go quiet. Offer to meet her before Saturday if you can make it.

 

[ameratsu]

Bumble's "Beeline" is hilariously dumb in its current implementation. As a man using Bumble without paying for that feature, I can easily tell who already swiped right on me, sometimes before I even swipe on them myself because lead photos are unique enough to be identifiable even when blurred when that person comes up in my stack.

Since there's a Beeline match counter, if you check it after every left swipe, you can similarly tell who swiped right on you based on the count changing. Not sure I really understand why bumble has deanonymized swipes to such a large extent, nor do I understand why anyone would pay for Beeline.

 

[TangerineCloud]

She's probably just embarrassed. If you leave her totally alone she'll likely think she's scared you off so it might not be best to go quiet. Offer to meet her before Saturday if you can make it.

Hm, good point. Hadn't considered that. I was just gonna avoid texting her completely today (I have stuff to do, so it's not like I would have been going out of my way or anything), but I suppose I'll shoot her another text near the end of the day.

Oh, and I forgot to mention this, but I actually did tell her that I'd be down to meet her before Saturday when we spoke yesterday. She didn't reply, but she was also preparing for an event at that point, so I wasn't too concerned.

 

[Mory Dunz]

Please be peristent even when I'm aloof = give me attention even when I don't reciprocate


At least to me. But maybe I'm cynical. It's a too way street.

Anyway, people here woukd say to text less and save it in person. Also pouring out your heart over a drunk text to someone you haven't met is initially flattering yea, but also a bit of a red flag no? Well....maybe yellow.

Like if a guy on gaf did that this thread would get at him hard....

 

[TangerineCloud]

Please be peristent even when I'm aloof = give me attention even when I don't reciprocate

At least to me. But maybe I'm cynical. It's a too way street.

Hahaha. Fair point. I'm willing to cut her some slack in this particular case because she generally puts a respectable amount of effort into keeping the conversation going.

Anyway, people here woukd say to text less and save it in person. Also pouring out your heart over a drunk text to someone you haven't met is initially flattering yea, but also a bit of a red flag no? Well....maybe yellow.

Like if a guy on gaf did that this thread would get at him hard....

Perhaps saying she "poured her heart out" was a little extreme. She didn't say she loved me or imply anything even close to that level of over-attachment. She was just very straightforward with her feelings toward me. The ""worst"" thing she said was that she "liked me more than she should" and that I was "reallllly nice". Sounded like she was just feeling enthusiastic, tbh.

Spoiler

/stealthbrag

 

[Mory Dunz]

Hahaha. Fair point. I'm willing to cut her some slack in this particular case because she generally puts a respectable amount of effort into keeping the conversation going.



Perhaps saying she "poured her heart out" was a little extreme. She didn't say she loved me or imply anything even close to that level of over-attachment. She was just very straightforward with her feelings toward me. The ""worst"" thing she said was that she "liked me more than she should" and that I was "reallllly nice". Sounded like she was just feeling enthusiastic, tbh.

Spoiler

/stealthbrag

Alright, sounds good then.
As far as advice, I'd let her initiate or at least put a little more space if she's been talking less as you said.

Edit:
Oh and about moving up the hangout, that's a two edged sword. Especially when you haven't met. I'd just keep the same day. You don't want to change schedules too much for a person unless you're in a relationship. It Makes it seem like you have stuff going on more important than her if you stick to you say. It's just one of those weird things. Dont be too available.

 

[dreamcastmaster]

Perhaps saying she "poured her heart out" was a little extreme. She didn't say she loved me or imply anything even close to that level of over-attachment. She was just very straightforward with her feelings toward me. The ""worst"" thing she said was that she "liked me more than she should" and that I was "reallllly nice". Sounded like she was just feeling enthusiastic, tbh.

Spoiler

/stealthbrag

Don't put too much stock in it if she was drunk. You've not met yet so she only likes the idea of you she has in her head. Her requesting that you be persistent does not sit well with me either has overtones of asking you to massage her ego.

Stick to the original date if I was you.

 

[TangerineCloud]

Don't put too much stock in it if she was drunk. You've not met yet so she only likes the idea of you she has in her head.

...yeah, you're definitely right. I guess I got so absorbed in the flattery that I neglected to take this into account. Can't really know how I compare to her mental image of me until we meet. I'll temper my expectations and try to keep playing it cool.

Her requesting that you be persistent does not sit well with me either has overtones of asking you to massage her ego.

Don't get me wrong; I can see why you guys would take issue with that particular comment, but there's a lot of context surrounding it that I left out because it would be difficult to describe succinctly in this thread. Knowing that context, I'm not particularly worried about it, but I'll keep your concerns in mind just to be safe.

Oh and about moving up the hangout, that's a two edged sword. Especially when you haven't met. I'd just keep the same day. You don't want to change schedules too much for a person unless you're in a relationship. It Makes it seem like you have stuff going on more important than her if you stick to you say. It's just one of those weird things. Dont be too available.

I've got good news and I've got bad news: she finally got back to me, and it seems like we're talking normally again... BUT we've already sort of discussed moving the date. It looks like there's a chance it may not happen anyway due to conflicting schedules, but I'd also feel weird suddenly rescinding the offer outright after already telling her I was open to it. We'll see how things turn out, I suppose. I'll be more firm with stuff like that in the future.

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

...yeah, you're definitely right. I guess I got so absorbed in the flattery that I neglected to take this into account. Can't really know how I compare to her mental image of me until we meet. I'll temper my expectations and try to keep playing it cool.



Don't get me wrong; I can see why you guys would take issue with that particular comment, but there's a lot of context surrounding it that I left out because it would be difficult to describe succinctly in this thread. Knowing that context, I'm not particularly worried about it, but I'll keep your concerns in mind just to be safe.



I've got good news and I've got bad news: she finally got back to me, and it seems like we're talking normally again... BUT we've already sort of discussed moving the date. It looks like there's a chance it may not happen anyway due to conflicting schedules, but I'd also feel weird suddenly rescinding the offer outright after already telling her I was open to it. We'll see how things turn out, I suppose. I'll be more firm with stuff like that in the future.

Nothing wrong with moving the date up. Just meet as soon as possible and none of this pre-first date texting bullshit will matter. (You may have to deal with "we're dating but not exclusive" texting bullshit or "we're exclusive but are we together" messaging inanity though.)

 

[Valkerionseven]

Realizing I need to find a lady I like who does not know a lot of the people I already know lol. All sides are killing me at the moment.

 

[dcelw540]

So it's been over 6 months since me and my ex broke up and I've been on and off with this one girl but it seems nothing is happening. Lately it's just been the feeling of I see girls who are attractive out around the town but just don't feel motivated to make a move. I'm guessing this normal it's a mixed bag, I want to find someone but I don't want to force it just let it come naturally. Being in an unpaid placement 40 hours a week and work on the weekends doesn't help either. This one girl at work I've always had a crush on but sadly she has a boyfriend and also I have that mentally I don't want to date someone from work because if anything happens I don't awkward tension. So far it's been an uninspiring year.

 

[Ashby]

So it's been over 6 months since me and my ex broke up and I've been on and off with this one girl but it seems nothing is happening. Lately it's just been the feeling of I see girls who are attractive out around the town but just don't feel motivated to make a move. I'm guessing this normal it's a mixed bag, I want to find someone but I don't want to force it just let it come naturally. Being in an unpaid placement 40 hours a week and work on the weekends doesn't help either. This one girl at work I've always had a crush on but sadly she has a boyfriend and also I have that mentally I don't want to date someone from work because if anything happens I don't awkward tension. So far it's been an uninspiring year.

I split with my ex not even 2 months ago and I've been out with three different girls so far and I definitely am getting that "forcing it" feeling that you mentioned. I want somebody in my life again but at the same time it does feel like just going through the motions.

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

Girl I've been seeing has been pretty not responsive. She was busy last weekend which was fine and was working late all week and then had to work this weekend and cancelled... I don't know, she doesn't really respond to texts or anything and just not sure what's going on. She's busy at work but she can't be that busy right? Kind of just want to end it.

 

[No_Style]

Girl I've been seeing has been pretty not responsive. She was busy last weekend which was fine and was working late all week and then had to work this weekend and cancelled... I don't know, she doesn't really respond to texts or anything and just not sure what's going on. She's busy at work but she can't be that busy right? Kind of just want to end it.

Did you propose a new date? Do so, leave the ball in her court and consider looking again. The girl I am seeing is equally busy. I pitched a wonderful date plan for this coming Saturday and she wanted to reschedule it for the following Monday. If she is interested in pursuing, she will reschedule with you.

 

[dreamcastmaster]

Girl I've been seeing has been pretty not responsive. She was busy last weekend which was fine and was working late all week and then had to work this weekend and cancelled... I don't know, she doesn't really respond to texts or anything and just not sure what's going on. She's busy at work but she can't be that busy right? Kind of just want to end it.

She's just not that into you. So end it and move on.

 

[Rked]

I'm utterly amazed at the amount of women you guys are meeting. Since I've moved back home (1 year now) I've had like 5 matches went on a date that was a complete disaster. The people at my work are much older and I don't meet anyone my age.. this is utterly demoralizing

 

[dreamcastmaster]

I'm utterly amazed at the amount of women you guys are meeting. Since I've moved back home (1 year now) I've had like 5 matches went on a date that was a complete disaster. The people at my work are much older and I don't meet anyone my age.. this is utterly demoralizing

We're here mostly for advice and support. So if you're not getting enough matches, as us what you can be doing better. It's usually relatively simple fixes to personal outlook and work on the profile.

 

[vern]

I'm utterly amazed at the amount of women you guys are meeting. Since I've moved back home (1 year now) I've had like 5 matches went on a date that was a complete disaster. The people at my work are much older and I don't meet anyone my age.. this is utterly demoralizing

Where are you? Location makes a huge difference.

 

[amanset]

I'm utterly amazed at the amount of women you guys are meeting. Since I've moved back home (1 year now) I've had like 5 matches went on a date that was a complete disaster. The people at my work are much older and I don't meet anyone my age.. this is utterly demoralizing

Work and Online Dating are not the only places to meet people.

Get out there. Do something else. I found a huge change in my social life - and dating life - was when I took up swing dancing. I was forced to interact verbally and physically with lots of different members of the opposite sex. You just couldn't avoid it.

 

[True Savior]

Girl I've been seeing has been pretty not responsive. She was busy last weekend which was fine and was working late all week and then had to work this weekend and cancelled... I don't know, she doesn't really respond to texts or anything and just not sure what's going on. She's busy at work but she can't be that busy right? Kind of just want to end it.

A girl doesn't talk with you, cancel dates and you don't know what's going on? C'mon.

 

[mordecaii83]

OK GAF, asking this for a friend of mine since he doesn't have an account. He's worked with this girl for like 4 years, and they've talked off and on and work, but it never seemed anything but friendly banter. A few months ago he switched buildings, and then like a month later the girl took a management position in the same building (she didn't know he was there as far as I know). However, the first thing she said when she found out he was at the same building again was "I'm really glad you're here!"

Now over the last couple months she smiles every time she sees him (I've seen it, it's pretty funny cuz he turns red). Apparently two nights ago he was on the phone at work and she walked by and said "you don't have to call me, I'm right here..." He was really confused because he didn't have her number and it came out of nowhere. So I told him to message her and say "You only wish I was calling you", and she actually replied back "Yeah I do " (again, I saw this in person). So she ends up giving him her number and snapchat.

It's pretty obvious she's into him, but he's not sure whether he should take it slow and just have friendly chats at first or just go after her right away. I told him just ask her out asap. Any thoughts?

Edit:

Girl I've been seeing has been pretty not responsive. She was busy last weekend which was fine and was working late all week and then had to work this weekend and cancelled... I don't know, she doesn't really respond to texts or anything and just not sure what's going on. She's busy at work but she can't be that busy right? Kind of just want to end it.

Pretty sure things are basically over and she's hoping you just get the hint so she doesn't have to seem like the "bad guy".

 

[dreamcastmaster]

OK GAF, asking this for a friend of mine since he doesn't have an account. He's worked with this girl for like 4 years, and they've talked off and on and work, but it never seemed anything but friendly banter. A few months ago he switched buildings, and then like a month later the girl took a management position in the same building (she didn't know he was there as far as I know). However, the first thing she said when she found out he was at the same building again was "I'm really glad you're here!"

Now over the last couple months she smiles every time she sees him (I've seen it, it's pretty funny cuz he turns red). Apparently two nights ago he was on the phone at work and she walked by and said "you don't have to call me, I'm right here..." He was really confused because he didn't have her number and it came out of nowhere. So I told him to message her and say "You only wish I was calling you", and she actually replied back "Yeah I do " (again, I saw this in person). So she ends up giving him her number and snapchat.

It's pretty obvious she's into him, but he's not sure whether he should take it slow and just have friendly chats at first or just go after her right away. I told him just ask her out asap. Any thoughts?
.

Generally given advice is not to date co-workers, if the relationship does not work out your stuck in a potentially uncomfortable situation. Many workplaces actually forbid staff relationships. In your friends situation I'd definitely say no if she's management and he's not, he'll be the subject of office gossip, perhaps she'll be accused of favoritism and if it goes wrong they'll be someone in management that might no longer want to see him every day and be in a position to do something about it.

He's had 4 years to do something about this before now.

 

[mordecaii83]

Generally given advice is not to date co-workers, if the relationship does not work out your stuck in a potentially uncomfortable situation. Many workplaces actually forbid staff relationships. In your friends situation I'd definitely say no if she's management and he's not, he'll be the subject of office gossip, perhaps she'll be accused of favoritism and if it goes wrong they'll be someone in management that might no longer want to see him every day and be in a position to do something about it.

He's had 4 years to do something about this before now.

He's in a support position that's considered outside the chain of command, so her being management isn't an issue. I agree work relationships are tricky, but I met my wife at work.

 

[Ashby]

What's the protocol for calling it off with a girl I've been on three dates with and haven't slept with yet?

 

[Scotch]

What's the protocol for calling it off with a girl I've been on three dates with and haven't slept with yet?

How were the dates?

You can send a polite message telling her you don't feel the click, or something like that, and wish her well.

However if the feeling might be mutual, for example she hasn't talked to you in a while, you can just ghost her, as she's probably doing the same.

 

[Haloid1177]

This might not even be a dating thing but I figured it's a good thread for some advice.

I've really kinda just lost touch with the outside world ever since I switched majors two years ago. I work anywhere between 40-60 hours a week, had a full class load up until this semester, and just overall kinda shut myself in and away from life. Well I'm graduating in May and trying to work my way back out there, and I don't have a fucking clue. Still working similar hours, but less class work helps a lot. Had a friend at work start getting on my ass to go out and put myself out there and I appreciate it but I sorta just dunno what that means. Had a small relationship I think three summers ago? But she was from out of town and it just didn't work, and that was about the extent of my game for that.

Real goal was to start working on myself after I graduated. Need to lose some weight, finish off my savings for a new place, just stuff like that to gain back some confidence. But I dunno where I'd even go from there.

God this all sounded way less sad and lame in my head before typing it all out lol

EDIT: Oh top of page wonderful.