What do you mean with nothing? No matches? No dates? Do you write to the girls you match with? What do you say?
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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already
- Thread starter gaiages
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efyu_lemonardo
May I have a cookie?
Nah, you're nowhere close to qualifying for crazy. Don't flatter yourself, Leeness. You're just slightly odd.
efyu_lemonardo
May I have a cookie?
I've never been in a relationship that long, but imagine at first it must be super weird just thinking about yourself as a "you" rather than an "us". If true, that sounds like the first obstacle to overcome, in which case perhaps for starters you should dedicate time to rediscovering yourself - you may find you've changed since the last time it was just you.
Once you get to know this new person, and grow fond of them, then you'll hopefully feel much more confident and interested in dating again.
Just my $0.02
always crazy bacon
Banned
Just sitting in a bar by yourself? You have to actually approach women and going solo in a bar/club is tough that not everyone can pull off.
So you gave up after a week? you didn't want to ask us some profile advice and just say it's full of bots or even try other dating apps?
I don't believe you, I think you've had this hang-up for years. I had the same problem in my teens but is was an asset in my 30's/40's
Doing exactly what? sitting in a bar alone and beekeeping club?
Wait is this the SAME bar you first mentioned?
Good, but you actually have to approach women and that movie scenario where you're in the supermarket a cute girl drops some fruit it rolls to you, you pick it up and ask if she dropped it and she compliments you on your good manners, you make some fruit based joke and get her number ISN'T GOING TO HAPPEN in real life.
Reading a book says "leave me alone", unless your expecting another movie scenario where a cute girl comes up to you and asks what you are reading and you bond over your joint love of literature, you make a book based joke and get her number. You actually have to approach women.
I'm going to take a stab in the dark here and guess that these activities are not a hotbed of single young women. Rather married women, old ladies and beardy weirdies. Fish where the fish are.
You've got to have something more engaging than making them laugh. This isn't high school anymore. I really hope you are not doing that little nervous laugh after one of your own "jokes".
Your math is way off and it's not your youthful looks that are the issue.
You've got to be proactive and approach women, does not make you a "creeper" by asking them for a number or date there pages of guys here doing exactly that. Also stop with the self pity it's so unattractive and even if your taking about it to a woman (not a lady, quit that using patronizing word) it's not the type of attention you want. Don't sit in bars alone, take a wingman. If you're not really a bar guy, stop going to bars. Go to dance classes instead of beekeeping. I think your biggest problem is that you think a relationship will happen just because you are out somewhere and one will just fall in your lap. They don't, you have to make the opportunities. Actually talk to women.
Aww, but I worked it out perfectly! I'd then grab some green citrus, write my number on it, and give her "the pickup lime".
Seriously though, if you think you look young, make yourself look older. Grow some carefully maintained facial hair...beard if you're follicually gifted, stubble if you aren't. Get a new haircut from a barber who knows their shit. Hit the gym, both to get muscles and make your body look a little more "used".
Start going out with friends in attempt to meet women. If you don't have friends, join Meetup or something similar to get some. Couple of dudes having fun playing pool is far more inviting than random dude reading a book.
Keeping you on that backburner.
Good.
You freaked her out. You are alone with her in a hotel, you've been having sex all along, and you confess your feelings on a text? What the hell?
If you choose to communicate over text in a relationship which has been face to face up until then, it's like admitting you KNOW you are doing the wrong thing and that you KNOW you are not going to get the answer you want.
You took the easy way out of your anxiety. And guess what, so did she. She wouldn't have shot you down like this if you told her in person.
Well, then she felt the same way. Surprised she stopped talking to you. Did you stop having sex and just kept chatting on text? I mean, if you went backwards in the relationship of course she stopped talking to you.
If you kept the relationship more on the platonic side after your confession, that basically means you tried to nonsensically take sex out of the equation with her to sort of take yourself out of the competition with other guys. If that's what you are doing, I don't blame her.
First of all I don't think the situation is that simple. A 25 year old girl going for someone younger it's not something you hear everyday. It's not absurd, but it's also not that common. Either you are super-hot or you are a real good guy and she likes to hang out with you. In both cases, you definitely have something she wants.
Second, YOU were the first one to sort of being ashamed of your feelings by hiding behind texts. She not addressing you in front of other people is more of a coping mechanism from her to deal with the absurd, nonsensical way you decided to steer the relationship. I mean, if she was to tell her friends what you did, the girls would for sure go fraternity-style on her ass and tell her "oh my god bro, RED FLAG! Major red flag! Cut contacts". So in a way she is sort of protecting the relationship. And you from yourself, basically.
Keep in mind you've lasted this long because you didn't confess your feelings of jealousy. My impression is you just confessed to being in love omitting the part about the other guys and you wanting to be exclusive. The moment you'll do, it's over with her.
If you already confessed your feelings of jealousy and she still hangs around, then the feeling is mutual and she is trying to work around your shyness.
Stop texting and let her come to you at her own pace.
DoomGyver
Member
No matches in a week, it's a small town but I used a large search radius.
First of all, I really hate that m'lady gif, it is so cringe worthy. And I can assure you that I'm not anything like that. Oh no I used the word lady! I guess I better go sacrifice a goat.
I was at a different bar tonight, younger college crowd and I was making small talk with a couple of other people there. I just came here to vent a little. I do look young but at least I'm in decent shape so I have that going for me.
As far as doing more - like taking dance classes, heck the nearest dance class is probably an hour away or more. I work a lot of hours, and its also nights which makes it difficult.
As far as looking older, I can only grow sideburns or mutton chops. I can't grow a mustache at all, and when I did grow some nicely groomed chops my guy friends liked them but I got the feeling that most women didn't.
always crazy bacon
Banned
Just responding to what you posted, even when I read it "I'm a gentleman" I fucking cringed for you! OK, I admit your use of the word lady following that paragraph was confirmation bias. No need to be so hostile when you lay GAF meme bait down like that. Do I need to mention the nice guy gets hostile when rejected trope too? No eveidence of that yet.
Good on you for getting out there, hold the line actually talk to women and you might make it.
Messofanego
Banned
Yeah, generally not a good idea when you mention yourself that you're a gentleman or a nice guy. That should come through in action or the other party's view of you, rather than self-affirmation.
Count Dookkake
Member
Been saying it for years. Texting is for chumps. Only use it for making specific plans.
I'm glad you have seen the light.
They can be alright provided you do something before or afterwards, for conversation and whatnot
always crazy bacon
Banned
This needs to be added to the dating age bible.
Johnny Cage In The Shower
Member
Trouble with me is, I get too much kick out of "entertaining" ladies via text, I am a conversationalist, and I fish for those "LOL!' "Ahahaha!" text replies to feed my own insecurities, selfishly...
Anyhoo, She was so cool, she even said "I have no interest in long ass text conversations, if I am really interested in a guy on Tinder, I want to see him and what he is all about right away and either proceed or move one..." (She's quite free spirited/independant and urban)
I was like "Damn girl! good advice" (I didn't really say that, paraphrasing)
Also, for those looking into first date ideas, I always try to do this unless the date objects or doesn't go anywhere... But keep things moving.. My first date lasted 5 hours last night and we ended at three different places (within two square blocks of the town, short cab/uber or even walk away from each other) doing three different things...
As for Ray Wonder, congrats dude, don't let this be a stressful or a negative life experience... I donno about your age or financial situation, but take it in stride, it's an amazing thing to create life, I hope she's a good woman and ends up being a decent mother... Don't half ass this dude, do your part as well and be a great father... Trust me, most men want a child sooner than later, even if they don't admit to it, this may seem a bit too early for you and unexpected, but think of it as an "early arrival" ...Be a good dad ( again) and hopefully you and the girl work it out!!
There's never a hard or fast rule to anything dating wise. Anything. All advice is generalized, there's an exception to every rule.
If you're both enjoying it, then cool.
That, and the advice is meant for the very early stages of dating. Because that's where some people get overly invested too early (for example when they've been texting for two weeks but haven't even met), which makes a rejection or ghosting much more painful than it needs to be.
Will the Thrill
Banned
Nooope and no, there hasn't felt like a "moment" to kiss I guess? Though yeah I know that's probably an excuse on my part. I've only ever kissed two other girls and both times it felt natural.
You have to set the scene and tone though. No more hanging out with her friends BS, bring her on a proper date just you and her. Only then can the opportunity arise.
Is she declines, move on
ErrorMacro
Member
Got a date later today with this really cute okcupid girl. We've been planning this date for two weeks, since she lives in the same city as my parents, and I only go there on weekends. It didn't help that last week was a major holiday in my country, so we both couldn't go on the date.
I've got a great feeling about it. Not only she is really cute, but it also seems we both will go along very well. I'm just a bit rusty, since it seems It's been around 2 months I don't go on a date lol. Wish me luck guys!
I've got a great feeling about it. Not only she is really cute, but it also seems we both will go along very well. I'm just a bit rusty, since it seems It's been around 2 months I don't go on a date lol. Wish me luck guys!
Made the mistake of messaging a coworker with a private instagram account that I found out knows a friend of mine in real life so I sent out a greetings type message. Fgiured having a real life connection would make things smoother. Didn't get a response from her. I have made no mention of the message this past week. Work is surprisingly not awkward.
Will the Thrill
Banned
Well we just talked about stuff over messaging after I asked if she wanted to go out again, she isn't interested in dating anymore. Onto the next.
ZackieChan
Member
Movies aren't always terrible dates. Went to eat some Shabu Shabu with my date yesterday, then see Logan. She was grabbing my arm, out her head on my shoulder, and held hands during the movie. Had a movie date a few days ago where things got more handsy. It's not too terrible, as long as you have talking/walking time before to set up physical intimacy.
Move on. Or date others and wait for her to get with the program. Be a busy, interesting guy that is honest with himself that he doesn't want to hang out with this girl's friends, and wants to be physically intimate with her.
Move on. Or date others and wait for her to get with the program. Be a busy, interesting guy that is honest with himself that he doesn't want to hang out with this girl's friends, and wants to be physically intimate with her.
Uh, yeah I don't like this.
You said she maybe doesn't seem that religious, you're back to how you were, it can work out.
Didn't she break up with you before for being atheist?
Why the change of heart? Oh yea, she's pregnant and doesn't want to go through it alone. That doesn't mean things have really changed. Be wary and don't get your feelings hurt.
Will the Thrill
Banned
I am, and about the last part, I guess I just don't really know how to. I'm very hesitant with anything intimate mainly because I haven't done anything other than kiss. I try to be as confident as I can, but I feel afraid of being me. I've had a lot of people who've really enjoyed the time we spent together, but never felt anything romantic.
ZackieChan
Member
Probably because you're not projecting sexual confidence. Basically, your entire demeanor on a date should have an undercurrent of "I am interested in you romantically."
Your username is as big a misnomer as Dylan Sexbang's (another gaffer who posted in here with similar issues). 😉
Will the Thrill
Banned
Well unlike Sexbang, at least mine can be used in some non-sexual scenarios lmao
My avatar is pure sex though
How do I make that my demeanor though? I'd like to be intimate in general, not just sex. Something I psyched myself out of recently was with this most recent girl when we saw a movie, I didn't put my arm around her. We had gone out before obviously but I felt like it could of made her uncomfortable, and I didn't want to ask because I felt like that would awkward.
ZackieChan
Member
By not feeling all of those feelings you described. Realize that if a woman wants to date you, they probably want to be physically intimate with you. Not just sex - touching, kissing, just generally being a masculine figure next to them. Hopefully that doesn't trigger anyone here, but this isn't some crazy theory. Many women like a man to act like a man. If you're meek, unconfident, and afraid to touch her and exert your sexuality, it is both unattractive and a quality they look for in friends.
You can start slow. Feel things out by touching her arm or shoulder casually during conversation. It should be natural, not weird. Move your body closer to her in general, like if you're on an escalator together or sitting. You should always be in physical contact with her if you're near each other. If she doesn't recoil in horror, then you can escalate from there. If you're watching a movie in a theater, hold her hand, put your hand on her leg, or just be shoulder to shoulder or knee to knee. Whatever. If you're on your couch, same things apply, but if she's come that far, she's probably interested in more. Just my experience, there will always be variations.
If she's just looking for a friend, she will not be down with this and will probably make it know to you (I've had my hand moved and other things, which is fine). Saves you time that you could be spending with romantically-inclined dates, unless friendships are what you're looking for. I've remained friends with plenty of women who just didn't seem interested in romance. It's all good.
Count Dookkake
Member
I have no idea what any of this means.
Dude was tryin' ta slide into a Coworker's DM's, was ignored.
Count Dookkake
Member
What is a greetings type message?
He sent out one of those generic greetings that we suggest people avoid. "Hey, it's Jim from work" or something. He'd hoped that knowing each other in real life would give him an edge.
Count Dookkake
Member
Jesus.
At least that was my interpretation of things. Can't explain why a guy would try to start the convo in Instagram when they work together. If there's a "real-life connection", you capitalize on it.
If my interpretation is correct, it's not even like she gave him the instagram name. He found it from a friend of his that knows the girl.
If my interpretation is correct, it's not even like she gave him the instagram name. He found it from a friend of his that knows the girl.
Good luck
I would hope it isn't awkward, it's just social media. People are hopefully adults about social media and don't give a fuck about them.
names2hard4you
Member
Just wanna say, whoever came up with the idea of sending the "heygirl.gif" dog as the first message is a fucking brilliant hack, and you have my appreciation. I basically went from 50% reply engagement rate to 90% LOL.
33-Hit-Combo
Member
I have difficulties with this when it comes to shy girls, to simply spring a hand on their arms or legs seems like a terrible idea if their body language isn't particularly welcoming. I feel as though I need an excuse, to see if they're ticklish, keep them warm etc. Any ideas how to keep it natural?
Spaced Harrier
Member
Please do not do any of these things.
Touch her because you want to touch her.
Because you enjoy her touch, warmth, smell, closeness, because your are romantically attracted to her and because you are sexually attracted to her.
She will respond.
Please do not touch her to investigate her tickles.
Get out of your head man.
He will soon reach Legend-status in this thread.
always crazy bacon
Banned
That's creeper behaviour, don't do it. Keep it natural by being natural, walking in the park talking, just hold her hand. Always worked for me.
Count Dookkake
Member
"I'm just checking for ticks."
Ultramantaro1
Member
Yeah, you just have to do it. If she's not into you, you'll know. If she's into you, you'll know. If she's into you but you do nothing, she'll get bored or lose interest and then it's over.
If you need an excuse to get things started subtly, the best is if you make a joke or make her laugh, It's a good time to touch her hand/shoulder etc. On a date, ideally sit next to each other rather than across so there is constant contact, leg-against-leg or body-to-body and that will definitely create comfort for moving further after. And at some point, just make strong eye contact and go for the kiss.
The only reason she would reject you is if she's not interested. And if that's the case, best to know early so you don't waste more time on something going nowhere. I'm usually a little hesitant to kiss on the 1st date, but if a girl has gone out with you 2 or 3 times, she's ready.
If you need an excuse to get things started subtly, the best is if you make a joke or make her laugh, It's a good time to touch her hand/shoulder etc. On a date, ideally sit next to each other rather than across so there is constant contact, leg-against-leg or body-to-body and that will definitely create comfort for moving further after. And at some point, just make strong eye contact and go for the kiss.
The only reason she would reject you is if she's not interested. And if that's the case, best to know early so you don't waste more time on something going nowhere. I'm usually a little hesitant to kiss on the 1st date, but if a girl has gone out with you 2 or 3 times, she's ready.
efyu_lemonardo
May I have a cookie?
What are the effective age ranges for the dog gif?
Kinda curious to try it on women in their late 20s/early 30s.
Kinda curious to try it on women in their late 20s/early 30s.
Will the Thrill
Banned
Thanks for this dude, I'll keep it in mind next time!
What is this dog gif everyone is talking about lol
Count Dookkake
Member
Find out.
Johnny Cage In The Shower
Member
Yeah, what is this dog gif, can someone post a screenshot or something?
It should be this one:
^
efyu_lemonardo
May I have a cookie?
I feel like sending to an older woman is a good way to get instantly blocked
prefer someone else take the fall
Count Dookkake
Member
I feel like sending to an older woman is a good way to get instantly blocked
prefer someone else take the fall
I don't date older women, but I think that would be cute to them.
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