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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already

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gaiages

Banned
I think the concern about being too nice is that some women might not see enough layers to a man's personality (beyond the kindness) to see true compatibility.

Many women like a guy with complexities that they can uncover, observe, interpret, and react to. It's almost like food to them. In keeping with the theme, if a restaurant only has one entree and nothing else, they may eventually grow bored of the same old meal and start to believe that there's a better restaurant with more to offer elsewhere. So, while being an incredibly nice guy isn't a bad thing at all, try to consider whether there's other sides of yourself that you can introduce to your dynamic together that will pleasantly surprise her just as much, if not more.

Er... He really didn't write much about what he does, just because someone is nice doesn't mean they're one note and boring. I mean, you don't want to be a jerk...

Also I assume men don't like one dimensional women either...
 
I think the concern about being too nice is that some women might not see enough layers to a man's personality (beyond the kindness) to see true compatibility.

You're supposed to be a good person and have respect for people, if that's all you're basing your own appeal on to the opposite sex it's not enough. You don't get credit for doing the things you're supposed to.

It's a subset of that line of thinking "why is she with all these jerks that don't treat her right and she complains about? I would not do any of those things so I'll make her happy".
 

Damerman

Member
there is this girl that is eyeing me at the gym on the regular. I never approached her because reasons. I ran into her at a bar and she immediately initiated with the "you look familiar" line. I responded with some trivial shit (tried and failed at small talk) about me being drunk and her losing her gains and she moved on to say something absolutely unintelligible. I asked her to repeat it and i still didn't hear wtf she was talking about. So i laughed and rested my hand on her shoulder for like a second and proceeded to the dance floor( i was desperate to just drink a little and dance all night). From her perspective it might seem like i was not interested(shoved her out the way after she had tried to make conversation), but honestly our first interaction was so awkward, i just had to get up out of there.

I have no clue how i'm going to address next i see her this upcoming week. her believing that i was drunk ( i really wasn't, but thats what i told her) is my only lifeline. it would be distressing if she tries to avoid me though. how do i approach her?
 
Is it weird to just straight up ask a girl out in a non bar/social event scenario? I go to a small art school , and there's this girl i often see around, really cute, but we have no classes together and only see each other walking around or in shared studio space (think an office floor with cubicles converted into art desks)

I want to talk to her , since I really have nothing to lose at this point, and if it goes wrong we do different kinds of art so I'll never really need to talk to her again, but I have no idea how to approach other than to just go up to her and compliment her and ask if she wants to get coffee or drinks or something
 

Oblivion

Fetishing muscular manly men in skintight hosery
So I have a question, which I'd like a score from 1 to stupid.

Some of you may remember a few years ago where I mentioned this story about a girl I met on my way to school who started talking to me cause she noticed my shoes were falling apart. She seemed concerned, we spoke for a bit, and then she asked me for my phone number. I tried to call her back at some point, but aside from one reply where she said "hi", I didn't hear back from her again.

I was going through my contact list to clean it up, and I noticed I still had her number. It's been a little more than 2 years since this happened. Should I give it another shot? Or should I send it to the ole recycle bin?
 
So I have a question, which I'd like a score from 1 to stupid.

Some of you may remember a few years ago where I mentioned this story about a girl I met on my way to school who started talking to me cause she noticed my shoes were falling apart. She seemed concerned, we spoke for a bit, and then she asked me for my phone number. I tried to call her back at some point, but aside from one reply where she said "hi", I didn't hear back from her again.

I was going through my contact list to clean it up, and I noticed I still had her number. It's been a little more than 2 years since this happened. Should I give it another shot? Or should I send it to the ole recycle bin?

I say give it a shot, can't hurt
 
I was going through my contact list to clean it up, and I noticed I still had her number. It's been a little more than 2 years since this happened. Should I give it another shot? Or should I send it to the ole recycle bin?

she still has the same number after 2 years? come on, that's a desperate move and you know it. If she has the same number she'll have deleted yours and you'll just be an unknown number. move along.
 

Oblivion

Fetishing muscular manly men in skintight hosery
she still has the same number after 2 years? come on, that's a desperate move and you know it. If she has the same number she'll have deleted yours and you'll just be an unknown number. move along.

Well, sure, I expect my number to have been deleted long ago. But if I can break the ice in some manner...

"Hey, I'm that guy with tattered shoes for whom you felt concern two years ago. What up?"

Hmm.

Like this. Except, you know. Not creepy.
 

artsi

Member
I was going through my contact list to clean it up, and I noticed I still had her number. It's been a little more than 2 years since this happened. Should I give it another shot? Or should I send it to the ole recycle bin?

giphy.gif
 

artsi

Member
I mean, dude you can go to Tinder and meet people who want to meet you.

Or you can be creepy and text a totally random person who forgot you 2 years ago. It's your call, man.
 
there is this girl that is eyeing me at the gym on the regular. I never approached her because reasons. I ran into her at a bar and she immediately initiated with the "you look familiar" line. I responded with some trivial shit (tried and failed at small talk) about me being drunk and her losing her gains and she moved on to say something absolutely unintelligible. I asked her to repeat it and i still didn't hear wtf she was talking about. So i laughed and rested my hand on her shoulder for like a second and proceeded to the dance floor( i was desperate to just drink a little and dance all night). From her perspective it might seem like i was not interested(shoved her out the way after she had tried to make conversation), but honestly our first interaction was so awkward, i just had to get up out of there.

I have no clue how i'm going to address next i see her this upcoming week. her believing that i was drunk ( i really wasn't, but thats what i told her) is my only lifeline. it would be distressing if she tries to avoid me though. how do i approach her?

This is a sad ass story. You couldn't just make small talk about the gym or something, then ask her about her life, job, where she's from, or some random questions? You choked, my dude.

I'd hide my head in shame at the gym from now on 😂😂😂

Actually, ask her if she goes to that bar often, and if she'd like to meet up there for a date Saturday night?

Is it weird to just straight up ask a girl out in a non bar/social event scenario? I go to a small art school , and there's this girl i often see around, really cute, but we have no classes together and only see each other walking around or in shared studio space (think an office floor with cubicles converted into art desks)

I want to talk to her , since I really have nothing to lose at this point, and if it goes wrong we do different kinds of art so I'll never really need to talk to her again, but I have no idea how to approach other than to just go up to her and compliment her and ask if she wants to get coffee or drinks or something

Walk around the studio space, approach her and discuss her art. Maybe she does a style that you can't quite master. Maybe you ask her for tips on something she does well. Maybe you just ask her about her program/courses. If the vibe is there, ask her out.
 

artsi

Member
On friday this girl superliked me, I matched and talked with her 2 months ago but she disappeared, I assumed she just lost interest and moved on.
We tried to set up a date, but apparently she had some shit going on back then and deleted Tinder. But she said that she couldn't forget about me so she installed it again and searched me to finish up things.

She came to my place the next evening and pretty much jumped on me right away. I don't really chase hookups but I didn't have to do anything so why not, lol.

I guess I'm going to see her again tonight, she also likes video games so we can play Persona 5 afterwards = win/win ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
 
So I have a question, which I'd like a score from 1 to stupid.

Some of you may remember a few years ago where I mentioned this story about a girl I met on my way to school who started talking to me cause she noticed my shoes were falling apart. She seemed concerned, we spoke for a bit, and then she asked me for my phone number. I tried to call her back at some point, but aside from one reply where she said "hi", I didn't hear back from her again.

I was going through my contact list to clean it up, and I noticed I still had her number. It's been a little more than 2 years since this happened. Should I give it another shot? Or should I send it to the ole recycle bin?

Send a pic of your new shoes and ask if she'd like to help you break them in by going out.

Try to make it a fun callback to when you met. Worse that can happen is she ignores the message and you delete her number.
 

Oblivion

Fetishing muscular manly men in skintight hosery
A lead is never dead until it's on the table wrapped in cling film.

But seriously, just delete the number. As funny as it might be to see her response to such a message, it's not worth it...

Aw man. :(

Just wanted the context of a 2 year old story. Also why do posters claim its so much "effort" to use the forum search feature? Just type username and shoes and it's the 4th post.

Actually, I was hoping that was a sign you were coming on to me. :(
 
This is a sad ass story. You couldn't just make small talk about the gym or something, then ask her about her life, job, where she's from, or some random questions? You choked, my dude.

I'd hide my head in shame at the gym from now on 😂😂😂

Actually, ask her if she goes to that bar often, and if she'd like to meet up there for a date Saturday night?



Walk around the studio space, approach her and discuss her art. Maybe she does a style that you can't quite master. Maybe you ask her for tips on something she does well. Maybe you just ask her about her program/courses. If the vibe is there, ask her out.

Thanks , I will try it out when I see her again
 

gaiages

Banned
there is this girl that is eyeing me at the gym on the regular. I never approached her because reasons. I ran into her at a bar and she immediately initiated with the "you look familiar" line. I responded with some trivial shit (tried and failed at small talk) about me being drunk and her losing her gains and she moved on to say something absolutely unintelligible. I asked her to repeat it and i still didn't hear wtf she was talking about. So i laughed and rested my hand on her shoulder for like a second and proceeded to the dance floor( i was desperate to just drink a little and dance all night). From her perspective it might seem like i was not interested(shoved her out the way after she had tried to make conversation), but honestly our first interaction was so awkward, i just had to get up out of there.

I have no clue how i'm going to address next i see her this upcoming week. her believing that i was drunk ( i really wasn't, but thats what i told her) is my only lifeline. it would be distressing if she tries to avoid me though. how do i approach her?

So... you like her? Otherwise it can't see why you'd care if she avoided you.

Just say something like "sorry about the bar, I was pretty tipsy (or whatever you want to say to allude to drunkenness), wanna grab coffee sometime". I mean, if you like her you gotta ask her out.

Also wtf about the 'losing gains' comment

Is it weird to just straight up ask a girl out in a non bar/social event scenario? I go to a small art school , and there's this girl i often see around, really cute, but we have no classes together and only see each other walking around or in shared studio space (think an office floor with cubicles converted into art desks)

I want to talk to her , since I really have nothing to lose at this point, and if it goes wrong we do different kinds of art so I'll never really need to talk to her again, but I have no idea how to approach other than to just go up to her and compliment her and ask if she wants to get coffee or drinks or something

Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already

Just wanted the context of a 2 year old story. Also why do posters claim its so much "effort" to use the forum search feature? Just type username and shoes and it's the 4th post.

Because how dare you use public information that's readily available on the same forum you're posting on?!
:p
 

Damerman

Member
This is a sad ass story. You couldn't just make small talk about the gym or something, then ask her about her life, job, where she's from, or some random questions? You choked, my dude.

I'd hide my head in shame at the gym from now on 😂😂😂

Actually, ask her if she goes to that bar often, and if she'd like to meet up there for a date Saturday night?
Ur right. I choked, but she's partly to blame cuz i could not hear what she was tal.... fuck it ur right lol i choked.

Thanks for the advice, lol ill be sure to update on wether i fumble again or not.

So... you like her? Otherwise it can't see why you'd care if she avoided you.

Just say something like "sorry about the bar, I was pretty tipsy (or whatever you want to say to allude to drunkenness), wanna grab coffee sometime". I mean, if you like her you gotta ask her out.

Also wtf about the 'losing gains' comment

Loool facepalm. I said "so you go to the gym and then you lose all the gains by getting drunk right after"

She responded "haha im not drunk"

Yes, could have chose a better opener lol

And i cant tell if i like her yet. We very briefly spoke at the gym and the convo we had at the bar was an unmitigated disaster. I'll try and talk to her today to get a better feel for who she is at the gym.
 

brawly

Member
Just found out that the girl from work who I like is in her early 30s. Which is nuts since she could easily pass for 18 and I would've guessed 26 at most (people can look young after all).

People keep telling me that she likes me but I feel so weird finding that out (I'm 24 btw).
 

animax

Member
I guess I'm going to see her again tonight, she also likes video games so we can play Persona 5 afterwards = win/win ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

What about the older woman, you ran out of patience?

We very briefly spoke at the gym and the convo we had at the bar was an unmitigated disaster. I'll try and talk to her today to get a better feel for who she is at the gym.

I don't understand why you lied about being drunk? That looks really really bad as it's almost like you're trying to take advantage of a drunk person (you weren't, i know, but it could have been perceived that way).

Just found out that the girl from work who I like is in her early 30s. ...
People keep telling me that she likes me but I feel so weird finding that out (I'm 24 btw).

If you're going to ask her out, make sure you're ok with the fact that she's a bit older. You're just wasting each others time otherwise
 

brawly

Member
If you're going to ask her out, make sure you're ok with the fact that she's a bit older. You're just wasting each others time otherwise

I think I am, though I don't know what that would look like. My birthday was like three weeks ago and when she asked how I old I had turned I told her to guess and she said 20...which makes sense because I do look young and I didn't think anything of it at the time. But now thinking back with knowing her age that's kinda weird, no? If she likes me and thought I was just 20.

It kinda makes asking her out easier because I know she's mature (though kinda shy for that age) but it also makes it that much harder, because you know...

tumblr_lmmo4pugnw1qkc5t3o1_500.gif


...maybe.
 

Damerman

Member
I don't understand why you lied about being drunk? That looks really really bad as it's almost like you're trying to take advantage of a drunk person (you weren't, i know, but it could have been perceived that way).
i see what you mean. But i knew she wasnt drunk as soon as i saw her. I was a little tipsy, but I exaggerated that i was drunk because i didnt feel like talking/flirting, i just wanted to dance, which is why i cut our convo awkwardly short and left.
 
There's a lot more to me than "being nice," that's just what people tell me, I just act like myself. She seems to like that I am not bothered by embarrassing myself in kareoke, am a workaholic, and am working on bettering myself (going to the gym, getting healthier.)

We have a lot in common (both self employed business owners), have a ton of the same interests, and other things. I have no intention of changing who I am for someone, and if that's a necessity, I haven't found the right person. If it gets me friend zoned, so be it. I want a meaningful relationship out of this, but if we did just go to being friends, I wouldn't be devastated. She's a delight.
 

Dragonite

Banned
There's a lot more to me than "being nice," that's just what people tell me, I just act like myself. She seems to like that I am not bothered by embarrassing myself in kareoke, am a workaholic, and am working on bettering myself (going to the gym, getting healthier.)

We have a lot in common (both self employed business owners), have a ton of the same interests, and other things. I have no intention of changing who I am for someone, and if that's a necessity, I haven't found the right person. If it gets me friend zoned, so be it. I want a meaningful relationship out of this, but if we did just go to being friends, I wouldn't be devastated. She's a delight.
Don't listen to the nonsense people talk about being a nice guy or a jerk, it means nothing. You just have to be yourself.
 
There's a lot more to me than "being nice," that's just what people tell me, I just act like myself. She seems to like that I am not bothered by embarrassing myself in kareoke, am a workaholic, and am working on bettering myself (going to the gym, getting healthier.)

We have a lot in common (both self employed business owners), have a ton of the same interests, and other things. I have no intention of changing who I am for someone, and if that's a necessity, I haven't found the right person. If it gets me friend zoned, so be it. I want a meaningful relationship out of this, but if we did just go to being friends, I wouldn't be devastated. She's a delight.

The fuck is wrong with you man?

You sound like a perfectly normal person. That can't be right.

But yeah, that's a good mindset to have. If you two enjoy each other's company and you have things in common, seems like it'll be a good time for you.
 

Peltz

Member
So I have a question, which I'd like a score from 1 to stupid.

Some of you may remember a few years ago where I mentioned this story about a girl I met on my way to school who started talking to me cause she noticed my shoes were falling apart. She seemed concerned, we spoke for a bit, and then she asked me for my phone number. I tried to call her back at some point, but aside from one reply where she said "hi", I didn't hear back from her again.

I was going through my contact list to clean it up, and I noticed I still had her number. It's been a little more than 2 years since this happened. Should I give it another shot? Or should I send it to the ole recycle bin?

Definitely give it another shot. She's just playing hard to get.

This is sarcasm. Move on.
 

Peltz

Member
Just found out that the girl from work who I like is in her early 30s. Which is nuts since she could easily pass for 18 and I would've guessed 26 at most (people can look young after all).

People keep telling me that she likes me but I feel so weird finding that out (I'm 24 btw).

Let her show you a thing or two.
 

Damerman

Member
Alright, saw the girl again today and i introduced myself this time and we had a rather normal conversation. She is a bit awkward, but cool non the less. Problem is that she JUST started dating a friend i made at that gym. He and i workout every thursday and we are part of a group of 4 dudes and one girl getting readdy for a spartan race. Ive gotten close to this dude, so I'm not going to pursue.

Nothing to see here folks. Sorry for wasting ur time lol.
 
There's a lot more to me than "being nice," that's just what people tell me, I just act like myself. She seems to like that I am not bothered by embarrassing myself in kareoke, am a workaholic, and am working on bettering myself (going to the gym, getting healthier.)

We have a lot in common (both self employed business owners), have a ton of the same interests, and other things. I have no intention of changing who I am for someone, and if that's a necessity, I haven't found the right person. If it gets me friend zoned, so be it. I want a meaningful relationship out of this, but if we did just go to being friends, I wouldn't be devastated. She's a delight.

Well, everything seems to be working out well with this girl you are dating. Sounds like you're doing the right things and it's working for both of you.
 
It baffles me how some people's minds work.

I know this girl that's been casually seeing a guy for a couple months. They're more fwb than anything and she's even told her sister she's not sure if she wants a relationship but the sex is good so it's worth continuing.

Anyways apparently she was over at the guy's place, went through his phone and saw he's talking to several other girls. No idea if there's anymore to it but either way it's upset the girl, and of course he's been labeled as a typical guy etc etc.

The thing is the girl slept with three different guys, in consecutive nights leading up​ to this. Surely she can see how much of a hypocrite she is!?
 

FyreWulff

Member
That's why I rarely recommend entering FWB type stuff. It CAN work, but usually one person or the other will start to view it differently, or they think it's a step towards getting a full relationship with you, and then draaaamaaa.

tl;dr if you're a FWB, you should be ready for the idea that your FWB will fuck other people (and be safe about it). If you're (the FWBer, not the poster) getting annoyed that they're FWBs, well uh lol2u
 
It baffles me how some people's minds work.

I know this girl that's been casually seeing a guy for a couple months. They're more fwb than anything and she's even told her sister she's not sure if she wants a relationship but the sex is good so it's worth continuing.

Anyways apparently she was over at the guy's place, went through his phone and saw he's talking to several other girls. No idea if there's anymore to it but either way it's upset the girl, and of course he's been labeled as a typical guy etc etc.

The thing is the girl slept with three different guys, in consecutive nights leading up​ to this. Surely she can see how much of a hypocrite she is!?

She just realised she's not as important to him as she probably convinced herself she was. Or she legit caught feelings/is annoyed that the good sex guy is just one good rumpy pumpy away from ditching her arse...

Either way, if the guy is seeing other women, why bother with such stupid drama?
 
When you random come across a girl you have been sleeping with while shes walking down the street with her friends and your with yours, she says hi to your friends super excited but barely looks at you or says anything...

Then you get a message later asking if she can come over.

Gawd gaf why do I only find these ladies... then again its not like I wanted her to tell/brag but at least fucking acknowledge my presence. It does not bother me that much, but it kinda fucking does haha.
 

Xun

Member
I'm seeing 2 of them again. With one date tonight and the other tomorrow.
I went back to the 2nd girls place on Friday and I'm meeting up with her again tonight.

She's 5' and I'm 6'1" so things were a bit difficult. I'm hoping it goes a bit better if anything happens again tonight though haha.

I'm taking lube this time...

As for the 1st girl she's really into me, but I'm not really sure how I feel about her. I may just see what the next date brings and then go from there.

I should've clarified.

She sent me a message saying "I've got a free house tonight" and then sent me a panicked message 10 mins later asking what she sent me since one of the messages was for her "friend" and "quite personal".

She's away at her parents this week so it wasn't directed at me.

We have a date arranged for Tuesday, but truthfully I'm treading incredibly carefully. She sounds quite nuts...
I appreciate the responses to this.

We're meeting up on Thursday now.

I was toying back and forth about meeting her (for the same reasons stated by people here), but I can always bail if she's insane so I'm going for it. It'll just be a bit of fun anyway, although I am still a tad apprehensive...
 

Peltz

Member
When you random come across a girl you have been sleeping with while shes walking down the street with her friends and your with yours, she says hi to your friends super excited but barely looks at you or says anything...

Then you get a message later asking if she can come over.

Gawd gaf why do I only find these ladies... then again its not like I wanted her to tell/brag but at least fucking acknowledge my presence. It does not bother me that much, but it kinda fucking does haha.

From what I find, if you're direct with women and show them how much you like them without hesitation, they'll be direct with you and show you how much they like you.

When you are affectionate with them in front of your friends, they'll be affectionate with you in front of their friends if they want to be.

If you consistently find yourself with women who do stuff like this, then there is a common factor among all these women.... you. Clearly this girl is not meeting your expectations with the way she treats you in public. So, you need to search inside yourself and figure out if you're actually being upfront with women you date about expectations you have from them.
 

Mediking

Member
You've been coming to this thread for at least 6 months now, haven't you? Been on a date/asked anyone out yet?

I'm totally a huge stud. Women just seem to love me. I can't keep them away from me, y'know?

....

I totally don't have a confidence problem or self-doubt problem when it comes to not being good enough for someone... ha...not me....

How'd you know I've been casually in this thread for 6 months? Noticed how I never talk about actually going on dates or dropping sex stories, huh?
 
I'm totally a huge stud. Women just seem to love me. I can't keep them away from me, y'know?

....

I totally don't have a confidence problem or self-doubt problem when it comes to not being good enough for someone... ha...not me....

How'd you know I've been casually in this thread for 6 months? Noticed how I never talk about actually going on dates or dropping sex stories, huh?

None of this is helping you.

Go to therapy. (I'm in therapy. Everyone should be in therapy.)

This thread is about concrete solutions to discrete problems. Zackie's point stands. If you haven't made any progress in 6 months, that's on you. Set achievable, smaller goals; work towards them. We'd absolutely happy to help with that. But we're not going to indulge passive aggressive commentary (which won't actually make you feel better, anyway).
 
So a girl I'm talking to sent me a snap selfie and I didn't say she looked good I just snapped a selfie of myself. Was she testing me? Just a heads up we aren't dating yet I havent fully asked her out yet but we have hung out about 5 times.
 
It baffles me how some people's minds work.

I know this girl that's been casually seeing a guy for a couple months. They're more fwb than anything and she's even told her sister she's not sure if she wants a relationship but the sex is good so it's worth continuing.

Anyways apparently she was over at the guy's place, went through his phone and saw he's talking to several other girls. No idea if there's anymore to it but either way it's upset the girl, and of course he's been labeled as a typical guy etc etc.

The thing is the girl slept with three different guys, in consecutive nights leading up​ to this. Surely she can see how much of a hypocrite she is!?

She thought she was the one controlling the situation, strong independent sexually liberated or whatever. I guess she also thought the guy was just sitting around waiting for her booty calls. Reality seems to have smacked her ego in the face.
 

gaiages

Banned
Alright, saw the girl again today and i introduced myself this time and we had a rather normal conversation. She is a bit awkward, but cool non the less. Problem is that she JUST started dating a friend i made at that gym. He and i workout every thursday and we are part of a group of 4 dudes and one girl getting readdy for a spartan race. Ive gotten close to this dude, so I'm not going to pursue.

Nothing to see here folks. Sorry for wasting ur time lol.

Hey, good job on talking to her, at least! That's much farther than most would get.

So a girl I'm talking to sent me a snap selfie and I didn't say she looked good I just snapped a selfie of myself. Was she testing me? Just a heads up we aren't dating yet I havent fully asked her out yet but we have hung out about 5 times.

Really bro? Really?

I, I don't even know how to respond to this... Like, why would you even think that? People take selfies all the friggin time, why would this selfie be a test over all the others

How'd you know I've been casually in this thread for 6 months?

Because you come in, make oddly aggressive remarks, and leave for a number of weeks without trying to fix your situation. You kind of stand out.

Now are you going to actually try to work towards a solution to your dating problems so we can help you, or are you going to keep doing the same thing over and over? Hint: Usually if something doesn't work the first time, you shouldn't keep trying it.
 
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