LookAtMeGo
Member
Of course man. Why wouldnt I? Its annoying for sure but it feeds my ego.
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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already
- Thread starter gaiages
- Start date
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Messofanego
Banned
Then stop complaining about the random texts cause you cone across as a hypocrite if you, like her, also love the attention. Since you want to, make a booty call. Or have the gumption and actually block her if you don't see this going anywhere.
artsi
Member
Nothing much to talk about my ventures, been seeing the girl 2-3 times a week and things are good.
I didn't tell my parents about her yet but they kind of found out when I emptied up my car battery at her place (left the lights on) and dad had to come give me a jump start in the morning.
I've dated 18 to 44 year olds around the same age as you. Do whatever pleases you.
I didn't tell my parents about her yet but they kind of found out when I emptied up my car battery at her place (left the lights on) and dad had to come give me a jump start in the morning.
I've dated 18 to 44 year olds around the same age as you. Do whatever pleases you.
always crazy bacon
Banned
This.
Chance Hale
Member
Bit of a specific question but as someone considering using a more detailed dating website a la Okcupid as opposed to tinder exclusively(The complete unpredictability of the person's beliefs and personalities is tiring after a while) how direct should you be about drug use on your profile? I smoke weed on the daily which seems like something to mention, but I've dated and been very good friends with plenty of people who don't and wouldn't want to immediately put someone off who otherwise might be compatible.
Messofanego
Banned
git gud at texting
entremet
Member
lol. i'm pretty good. it's just exhausting and I'm a bit tired of it. I used to love texting ages ago. Not anymore. You'll find out when you get old, messo lol.
Messofanego
Banned
I'm 30 in sept, when do I get old and bad at texting? 😉
I don't text much, maybe once a day get into a session. I like to leave it up to a girl to initiate, so that takes the pressure off and tells you they're actually interested. Of course phone calls are better but I haven't had miscommunication issues through texting yet.
manfestival
Member
Why not?
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Because you're trying to have a girl crash your manfestival.
LookAtMeGo
Member
To be honest, I don't really give a fuck meng. I just said I dont get it. I wasnt really complaining. Its just one of those things. I was more wondering what her thought process was. Im good bro. Who the fuck doesnt like a pretty woman hollering at them from time to time? As annoying as it might be. A booty call from her would be nice but I'm not about to lose sleep over it.
I'm just airing my thoughts out. If I come off as complaining, I'm sorry. This girl is the least of my problems.
So I had a second date, and it was pretty legit. Saw a movie, she was pretty much cuddling me in the movie theatre.
Ended up walking around the city and got to the lakefront, and I ended up making a move and we made out a bit. Then she dropped the bomb that she'd never kissed a guy before? She's 22. So that kind of flipped the dynamic on its head, I think. I'm no prolific womanizer but I had a long term relationship where I briefly lived with a girl.
So now I feel like I have to be careful because if she's opening up to me now, I should take this pretty seriously. Be cautious about the signs I give off, what I'm looking for. She doesn't seem socially well-versed in dating/relationship customs, which makes some sense now.
She got pretty quiet after that which was weird, but might've just been late night tiredness. Felt like I was pushing conversation too hard which might be my bad habit. I'm kind of struggling to think of what we could hang out and do now and talk about for more dates because we vibe well but she doesn't seem too talkative about her interests. Probably can't do something like invite her to my place until September.
Ended up walking around the city and got to the lakefront, and I ended up making a move and we made out a bit. Then she dropped the bomb that she'd never kissed a guy before? She's 22. So that kind of flipped the dynamic on its head, I think. I'm no prolific womanizer but I had a long term relationship where I briefly lived with a girl.
So now I feel like I have to be careful because if she's opening up to me now, I should take this pretty seriously. Be cautious about the signs I give off, what I'm looking for. She doesn't seem socially well-versed in dating/relationship customs, which makes some sense now.
She got pretty quiet after that which was weird, but might've just been late night tiredness. Felt like I was pushing conversation too hard which might be my bad habit. I'm kind of struggling to think of what we could hang out and do now and talk about for more dates because we vibe well but she doesn't seem too talkative about her interests. Probably can't do something like invite her to my place until September.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Yeah, I know. I was quoting a Mark Manson book and subtly suggesting people should read it.
LookAtMeGo
Member
I prefer the 'Awakening to your lifes purpose' by Eckhart Tolle.
The subtle art of not giving a fuck, from my perspective, can fuck somebody up.
Good books though.
Anyways. Im drunk. Noght boys
always crazy bacon
Banned
I'm 43, texting is fine once you work within the fact that nuance can be lost just through text. No different than posting on GAF.
always crazy bacon
Banned
I'm not anti weed but you probably don't want to be smoking it every day and making it your lifestyle. I've smoked myself and kept it in moderation, I've known guys that smoke every day and TBH I doubt that's going to appeal to anyone other than a girl smoker.
What are you expecting? This "compatible woman" that is compatible with the smoker you or the non smoking you?
EchoChamber
Member
So I met a girl in a party and it was going to well, I was talking about that I'm going to graduate next year from college and then she ask about my age I answer "22 why are you asking" she said to me I looked a lot more younger like 18 that made feel good hahaha and then she asked me what age does she looks like and I answered "like 18" she looks a little bit sad and she says to me that her age is 16...
I automatically decided to abort the mission, but man 😔 she is really cool maybe I will wait when she hits 18 😂
I automatically decided to abort the mission, but man 😔 she is really cool maybe I will wait when she hits 18 😂
I hear you on that. These days I'm not big on texting with girls all that much so as to keep my expectations low and get a bit annoyed when they want to make conversation. I set up plans for dates in the last two weeks and had a few women "forget" because I didn't keep them interested in the middle of the week. I save the full blown text conversations for friends.entremet said:
I went out with a crazy stoner girl last year who came to dates high because she claimed that it helped control her anxiety (how her coworkers/bosses didn't catch on I do not know). I swear I thought she was bipolar at times from the strong hits of weed that she would smoke from a bong because she would call me as I was in the middle of replying to her texts. In retrospect, it was a turn off for me because she wasn't being herself and needed to depend getting high as a social lubricant all the time which is partly why it didn't work out. It would be the equivalent of me pre-gaming and arriving to dates drunk as sin.
On her profile she mentioned that likes to get high right off the bat so I think it would help if you do the same. I think that as long as you're not preachy about the wonders of weed and getting high (list it several times throughout your profile to beat people over the head with it), you'll be fine. Otherwise, it seems like you can only appeal to creative types and other weed users.
I've done weed socially a small handful of times and support legalizing it for medical/recreational use but I can do without it. Have you thought about cutting down on it or is it something that you need to function with?
Funny enough OKC published an article on weed friendly date ideas a few weeks ago: https://theblog.okcupid.com/weed-fr...urce=collection_home---2------1--------------
LordKasual
Banned
this is the secret to everything
LookAtMeGo
Member
You got me.
I should have said good morning?
So earlier this morning I came out of my room naked to grab a drink from the fridge. My smart ass friend in my living room on the couch decided to snapchat me as a joke but instead of sending it to me he sent it to a group with basically everyone we know in it. I dont know if I can recover from this.
LucidMomentum
Member
I mean, it was your friend and not you who did it so eh.
You can always follow up with "Heh, hope you enjoyed the view!" and see if anyone runs with it lol.
Chance Hale
Member
To clarify I only smoke or consume recreationally a few times a week if I'm playing games or not going out and the like. I smoke nightly to fall asleep because I have severe insomnia and ambien and other sleep aids I was prescribed make me sleep walk which is terrifying.
I definitely don't consider it part of my character or anything, I work full time and have my senior year for my physics BS coming up this fall so I'm not waking and baking by any means. I've just never used a more in-depth site like okcupid and don't want to isolate myself only to 420/blaze it/I Don't know what I'm doing with my life, but follow the vibes types but also don't want to be dishonest?
It was much easier to meet fellow stem smokers when I lived in student/group living but now that I'm in an apartment and a new city it's weird to adjust. Just in a weird spot dating wise because I'm still in college, and will be for some time with grad school but I'm also older than most as I switched majors a few years back. Find that most people I'd want to date have real jobs at this point which is something you can overcome in person, but comes off poorly online.
Silas Lang
Member
This is something I would just bring up in person. I never listed anything like that in my profile and I used to use in a similar manner to you. Besides, why would I admit to doing something illegal (at least where I lived) online publicly?
I never had any problems with that approach.
Chance Hale
Member
I do live in Denver tho 
Just feeling numb to casual Tinder sex with people I dislike at this point lol.
Just feeling numb to casual Tinder sex with people I dislike at this point lol.
Messofanego
Banned
I want to say congrats but you don't seem too sure of thisShe brought up the exclusivity talk yesterday, I guess I (officially) have a girlfriend again.
artsi
Member
I want to say congrats but you don't seem too sure of this
Nah all is good lol, but I've been in relationships for so much in my life it's just business as usual
At least I can delete Tinder now.
In the end despite hundreds of matches and all the dates / hookups that app got me, the app I found a relationship from was Instagram ¯\_(ツ
_/¯PancakeBurglar
Member
Had a second date last night, went great. Went out for sushi then we went back to my place to watch horror movies. Lots of making out and we had sex which was awesome, first time I've had sex since my last relationship ended in November. Really like this girl, she's got a fun positive attitude plus she's a bit nerdy too. She works 2 jobs so it's kind limited when she's available but we've got a couple dates planned for next weekend, really excited to see where this goes.
onya mate
Messofanego
Banned
Yay!Nah all is good lol, but I've been in relationships for so much in my life it's just business as usual
At least I can delete Tinder now.
In the end despite hundreds of matches and all the dates / hookups that app got me, the app I found a relationship from was Instagram ¯\_(ツ
True Savior
Member
Don't text. Just send dick picks. Easy.
You will need to start the conversation.
Subpar Scrub
Banned
Only like 1 in 8 girls will start a convo on tinder, so you should start it.
Valkerionseven
Member
HOLY CRAP I just had a hilarious walk home.
So we had a drinking party for some people I worked with and there were some cute ladies there. One of my friends was being flirted with by a REALLY cute girl and he was 100% oblivious as usual. Later this same girl decides to go to the second drinking party because he goes too, once again super oblivious, and even better shes sitting super close, not moving away, tries to go to the bathroom near the same time as him ect. really obvious stuff.
He doesn't catch any of it. Only people who noticed were me and one of my best friends/co-workers here.
At the end of the drinking party my bestie is like -in Japanese- "your touching too much" which more directly would translate to "your being really obvious about what you want tehehe"
The girl she said it too heard it and laughed, the only guy who understood it was me, and everyone else was like wtf are they giggling about. The guy being flirted with asks me what that was about and I was like "I'll tell you later haha"
So were walking home and he keeps asking what it meant and I finally drop the info that she was clearly interested. He got so flustered and had no idea hahahaha. Then I proceeded to drop the bombshells that he has had a ton of ladies clearly interested and he never made a move. HE GOT SOOOOOOO mindblown rofl.
I assumed this whole time he was just like, super nature, outdoors, surfing, and hiking guy with no interest in women. You know real good guy type. Tonight he was so shocked that we all assumed this and never let him know all the ladies that were interested hahaha.
Guess that is partly our fault too but daym. Were all oblivious about it sometimes but this guy was next level. Too the point I din't even know he was interested in women.
-still laughing about this rofl-
So we had a drinking party for some people I worked with and there were some cute ladies there. One of my friends was being flirted with by a REALLY cute girl and he was 100% oblivious as usual. Later this same girl decides to go to the second drinking party because he goes too, once again super oblivious, and even better shes sitting super close, not moving away, tries to go to the bathroom near the same time as him ect. really obvious stuff.
He doesn't catch any of it. Only people who noticed were me and one of my best friends/co-workers here.
At the end of the drinking party my bestie is like -in Japanese- "your touching too much" which more directly would translate to "your being really obvious about what you want tehehe"
The girl she said it too heard it and laughed, the only guy who understood it was me, and everyone else was like wtf are they giggling about. The guy being flirted with asks me what that was about and I was like "I'll tell you later haha"
So were walking home and he keeps asking what it meant and I finally drop the info that she was clearly interested. He got so flustered and had no idea hahahaha. Then I proceeded to drop the bombshells that he has had a ton of ladies clearly interested and he never made a move. HE GOT SOOOOOOO mindblown rofl.
I assumed this whole time he was just like, super nature, outdoors, surfing, and hiking guy with no interest in women. You know real good guy type. Tonight he was so shocked that we all assumed this and never let him know all the ladies that were interested hahaha.
Guess that is partly our fault too but daym. Were all oblivious about it sometimes but this guy was next level. Too the point I din't even know he was interested in women.
-still laughing about this rofl-
You could have actually helped your friend out and clue him in when it could have mattered.
POF was awful for me. I only met with like one person through it. Everything about it was bad. However, your experience is kind of actually normal, for a small sample size. I've had three whiffs in a row plenty of times through multiple different apps.
Krauser Kat
Member
So i guess talking to people on Instagram does actually work. Try it if you have a crush on someone, it might lead to things. Like a date i have on wednesday.
Matched with this girl and we clicked, but then she told me her last relationship was open and that she enjoyed the threesomes and I felt a bit of the thrill of meeting a new person die.
I'm still a virgin, I didn't take my step with any of my previous SOs, so I guess I'm just scared?
I think I also felt a bit (lot) of shame, I don't think I can bring this up to someone I just met, specially given her... Last relationship. I'm usually not ashamed of this - it was my choice, my SO respected it and I'm happy I did. This time, however, I can't shake off this gremlins telling me I can never experience the relationship I want with this girl, and that I should just stop talking to her.
And yes, it's the last bit I'm worried about, I just met her and I'm not that invested.
Reading Brene Brown's insight in vulnerability really helps pinpointing shame.
I'm still a virgin, I didn't take my step with any of my previous SOs, so I guess I'm just scared?
I think I also felt a bit (lot) of shame, I don't think I can bring this up to someone I just met, specially given her... Last relationship. I'm usually not ashamed of this - it was my choice, my SO respected it and I'm happy I did. This time, however, I can't shake off this gremlins telling me I can never experience the relationship I want with this girl, and that I should just stop talking to her.
And yes, it's the last bit I'm worried about, I just met her and I'm not that invested.
Reading Brene Brown's insight in vulnerability really helps pinpointing shame.
Just be honest. Or don't.
The girl who took my virginity had no idea (I think). And that's how I wanted it. Random and fun.
If you want to have a "significant other," however, the only way to be genuinely intimate with them is to communicate through the difficult stuff without fear of judgment. If she judges you for who you are, then it's not a match and you can move on with a clear conscience.
I got to be honest with you though, you shouldn't worry about it. Literally everyone was a virgin at some point. It's not a big deal.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
You're being an idiot.
Anyway, vulnerability is a strength? Yes, everyone should listen to that TED Talk. My ex-girlfriend, who incidentally was a crazy submissive sexual deviant psychology Ph.D. student (bless her heart) introduced me to that.
Anyway, do you like talking to her? Do you want to have sex with her at some point? I'm assuming the answer to both questions is yes, and also -- sex isn't a big deal. I'm assuming you're in the "I haven't done it before and want it to be special" versus "I'm celibate before marriage because religious indoctrination." If it's the latter, yeah, this likely won't work out.
Here's the deal:
You don't need to tell her. She'll know. And it's on her to determine if she's okay with it. It's not your problem to police her reactions. Similarly, you don't know if she necessarily wants more threesomes. You don't even know if you want threesomes. (They're okay, by the way, but I'd rather them an annual occurrence, not a regular one.)
In fact, you haven't even begun to explore your sexuality at all. You have to start at some point. There's no shame in virginity; there should be no stigma in being a late bloomer. Where we can, however, ding you is your current situation -- where you want to try and explore, but you're too afraid.
LordKasual
Banned
Once, maybe twice, but the website is garbage.
I wouldn't waste my time.
If she's older than 18, who cares? I personally block off the 18-21 range myself though. I hooked up with some 19 year old last year...i can't recall being so fucking immature at 19, but i'm sure i probably was. I never thought such a thing would actually bother me, but alas.
at 28, you probably wont share much in common with a chick under 21. But other than that...
Spoiled Milk
Banned
Mine never knew!
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
She totally knew.
Whew, I really needed to read this, although I remember Mediking was given similar advice before, I just... Had a bit of a breakdown.
It's a bit terrifying, this whole deal - not having experience vs having plenty, to the point you can talk about it openly with a stranger. Her vulnerability might have triggered a whole new level of shame within me. I did felt I wasn't good enough since I couldn't bring myself to talk about it as openly.
In the end, though, we are just talking, I'm not even sure I want to have sex with her.
Thank you everyone, my brain just hung up for a few minutes.
I only post my art on Instagram (I know you're also an artist). It's been a couple of months since I last posted anything with my last update being in April when I was in Chicago and posted a drawing of The Bean because I lurk these days. I get the occasional random follow/like from what appear to be bots/girls who only post mirror shots. So you're suggesting to follow girls local to my area at random and slide into her DM's? What if I don't have any crushes at all?
My first sexual experience a couple of years ago at 26--a hook up on Tinder, was a bit scary because I had a lot anxiety. The girl was so horny that she wanted me to raw dog her but it scared the hell out of me and it didn't help that I wasn't able to get it going because the condoms were too tight. I never saw her again after that day but I got some good oral. I never once told her that I was a virgin.Gizuko said:
On my first proper time having full blown intercourse the following year, I never once told the girl that I was virgin. I feel like she sensed/knew that I wasn't experienced because she taught me a whole lot about my sexuality and softened me up with a bunch of compliments (whether they were sincere or not was anyone's guess) in the moment which was nice. Contrary to many people's first time experiences, it was solid because she was patient and understanding.
Last time I had sex which was close to a year ago, I opened myself more. I think a huge part of sex is not feeling ashamed/self-conscious to do things and being open. I agree with AD and Peltz that there's no shame in being a late bloomer; one of my closest friends is turning 29 soon, is a virgin, awkward, and has yet to kiss/go on a date with a woman.
I told my friend the same thing and when I revealed to him that I only had sex a few years ago when we hung out on Christmas Day two years ago, it blew his mind because at first he didn't believe me. I told him that if I did it, then so can he and it's not a big deal. I feel like many geeky/nerdy friends that I know feel sorry for themselves for being a virgin/inexperienced and/or don't want to be helped when people offer dating advice. The aforementioned close friend included.
EDIT: Saw your post. Dude, in the end of the day, you only live once so fuck it (pun not intended).
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