CrimsonSquall
Member
We gotta stop simpin y'all. Get it all out now, next year I'd better see it as alot of everybodies new years resolution
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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already
- Thread starter gaiages
- Start date
- Status
ZackieChan
Member
Yep. Twenty-Simp-Teen is almost over. Twenty-Slayin-Teen is nearly upon us.
Messofanego
Banned
If the date is in the day, many girls will make plans afterwards to have an out and/or not stretch the date too long. Source: my GF purposely made plans and stuck with them despite enjoying herself on the date. At the time I thought she was getting out of a bad date, but found out after dating a while what the real purpose was.
Mobile Suit Gooch
Grundle: The Awakening
I know I know. Never dip your pen in company ink. Should try at least, right?
artsi
Member
Yeah, to learn never to do it again
Nah man, if you feel like it, go for it.
ZackieChan
Member
From your description, it doesn't sound like she's vibing with you at all. Do you foresee a natural time for conversation with her? Or is it just an awkward "what's your name?" while clocking in?
Mobile Suit Gooch
Grundle: The Awakening
Yeah, to learn never to do it again
Nah man, if you feel like it, go for it.
I guess it's that awkward part. Never had a conversation with her anyway. Probably never will.
But dammit tho.
Not as easy for someone who isn't photogenic. And a bunch of selfies is not exactly a good look on dating sites. I had to spend half a day with a friend in the past just to get one picture that looked halfway decent.
Miles Quaritch
Member
Firstly, everyone using online dating sites has selfies in their profile.
Secondly, you're already projecting a negative attitude. Go out, do something fun, take pics of yourself doing said fun thing and use the pics.
Stop looking for excuses. You're not ugly, you're not hideous, you can take a good selfie while doing something fun, but you've already given up, you've kicked the can down the road and decided it's better to wait a year.
No, enough with the excuses. Get the fuck out there and take those pics. Do it this week. You can post some here and we'll help you pick the best ones. Not confident enough to post them, PM a couple of people and get their opinion.
Do it this week.
Gotdatmoney
Member
This is some mad fuckball you're playing son. Take a time out and formulate a strategy so you stop embarassing yourself on the court.
You don't need advice. You need to look in the mirror and see the person in front of you is being a clown. Spending all this fucking money on women you are not in a relationship with. Christ.
Miles Quaritch
Member
He's investing fam, Don't hate his hustle.
Incendiary
Banned
Question: how old are you? More importantly - why does every girl you're interested in have a kid already? Even more importantly - why are you putting price tags on all your dates? I've been seeing a girl for a month and a half, we've been on plenty of dates, and fuck if I could tell you how much money I've spent because I don't care to tally every single expense when I'm hanging out with someone I enjoy hanging out with.
Now I can tell you I spent $150 on a Blue Yeti microphone for streaming and YouTube video purposes, but that's because that's a single inanimate object that I use as a tool, not a person.
You should really look at yourself - saying c'est la vie and continuing on the same path will probably result in more stories where the women end up with guys that aren't you.
Gotdatmoney
Member
The Lamonster
Member
If you have health insurance, is it better to get an STD panel/treatment from your primary care physician's office or from somewhere like Planned Parenthood?
Asking for a friend.
Asking for a friend.
LucidMomentum
Member
My goal is to find an attractive older sugar momma who will spoil me and then make me do unmentionable things to her.
As long as I'm dreaming, might as well go all out right?
Your primary doctor, I would imagine. Then again I don't know if there's a difference. Whatever your insurance covers.
Gotdatmoney
Member
Basically. I'm into dreams money can buy.
jadedm17
Member
Thank you. Money is whatever its the experience.
I made a $20 limit on a girl I who was just a friend last year for Christmas, then heard she has never had a real Christmas as a kid so I spent over $200 on games, clothes and candy to make her day incredible.
The money isn't the issue it was the girl I spent it on.
You only live once, right?
It was total : Date one was $80 for dinner, two was $200 for Universal; A few other meals, alcohol, paints and canvas.... I like to have fun and I like the company of women; My other dating prospect I spent that just to see her ($380 for hotel, ~$100 gas and a week off work).
Money wasn't the issue, hearing "I'm not ready for a relationship but you deserve to be happy" on November 7th via text and seeing last week - less than a month later - "My boo's favorite spot" and a picture of her with another guy is what hurt.
I've dated several women this year and she's the only I've felt used by.
I'm 29, live in Florida so most either have a kid or are in a relationship (though admittedly there is a part of me that falls for girls with more baggage, and a part of me that wants a kid). The money aspect was just part of the frustration - I don't regret it, I regret who I spent it on : I thought she was fun and had never been to Universal so I wanted to treat her. The money was a retrospective part after "we can be friends" followed by rescheduling three times after spending several nights in my bed, followed by a FB post of "going to the bar who wants to join?" when days before I texted her personally when I was doing the same. Shit like that hits me like daggers.
The last part I find difficult and what hurts the most : Last girl was a tool, the girl before had 500 miles between us and a father of her child who wanted to make their relationship work who was moving to her town to be with his little girl, and before that she was pregnant from a fling... Which of those can I look at as my fault?
I've tried to honestly analyze what I'm doing wrong but I can't think of anything : I'm romantic, charming, giving, have a car, job, own place.... Short of the 40 lbs I'm working on losing I feel I'm making all the right moves but some things don't line up.
ZackieChan
Member
It only hurts because you're overcommitted, both emotionally and financially. Stop doing that. Keep it casual in the beginning and go bigger, if you must, after there's some level of commitment.
I just took a date to Ikea to buy myself some glasses and plates.
I just took a date to Ikea to buy myself some glasses and plates.
Ray Wonder
Founder of the Wounded Tagless Children
I told a girl I wasn't looking for a relationship, and ended up in a relationship with someone else like a month later. It's an easy way of getting out of dating someone without saying "I don't like you, specifically."
jadedm17
Member
It's a bullshit cop-out that hurts more than just saying "I'm not interested in dating you".
Worse yet is when they want to be friends but make zero effort.
I've dated 4 women this year and only 1 makes me feel bitter.
Sounds to me like you're the idiot for jumping to sex.
The girl I mentioned above about Christmas is like a sister to me.
Relationships are much more than sex so no, at not point did I feel entitled to sex; I could take that one more step and even say that all four women I've seen this year were the one's who initiated sex.
I want a deep committed relationship with a fun, smart, sexy woman I get to spoil, argue with and spend years building a stronger bond; If I wanted just sex I could do that easy and wouldn't be hear venting.
Thanks for your over-the-top and nowhere-on-the-mark rude criticism.
I prefer casual, and think the first part of dating should be casual, but how events unfolded - and several texts and a writing in my bathroom of "You're an incredible and beautiful person" - get my head fuzzy; Most of my dating prospects I understand and respect how and when things end, but with her I just felt used.
I'll get over it but GAF has an amazing community so I came to vent, so thanks to all who listened.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Again with the money. Did you want to sleep with her too?
You sound jaded. Look, I spend money on dates as well, but I don't keep a mental tally because I don't believe throwing more bills at a girl will make her panties drop. You shouldn't believe that either. I'm hoping you don't. And since you don't, stop sharing your receipts.
Also, don't do dinner on a first date.
She didn't use you. She communicated to you clearly and directly that she didn't want a relationship with you.
Don't date chicks with baggage. Don't spend money on them either. You can look at all of them as your fault because, as I said on the last page, none of them were good matches for you, so you ought to be happy. Imagine if you got one of them pregnant.
Stop acting so fucking entitled.
Ray Wonder
Founder of the Wounded Tagless Children
I'm a pussy when it comes to that stuff, so I just ghost lol. I figure people wouldn't take it tooo hard. It's not like we were in a relationship or something.
Miles Quaritch
Member
Listen, these women are looking for relationships just not with you. Something you're doing is putting these women off, I suspect it's the money aspect.
You need to stop spending so much money on dates. It doesn't matter if someone hasn't had a Christmas before, that's not your problem when you're not even dating. Why the fuck would you spend 200 dollars on her to make her day special? I'll tell you why, you thought that by doing so you'd be able to buy her and move the relationship forward by making her feel indebted you for doing those nice things, that very likely what all the women you're dating feel.
Stop doing it. You're not investing pussy stocks, you won't be able to make withdrawals, all you're doing is coming off as financially irresponsible and making women feel uncomfortable by trying to buy their love.
The next woman you date, keep it simple and don't be irresponsible. While I can't guarantee anything because I don't know you or your personality, you should a marked improvement in how you're treated and how relationships develop.
You can't buy your way into a woman's vagina, unless she's a sex worker but that's clearly not what you're interested in.
Fuck man, you could have spent that money on a cool vacation and had lots of fun and made lots of cool memories...
Miles Quaritch
Member
Bull fucking shit son.
Why was there a twenty dollar limit for a girl who is like your sister? And for all your talk of trying to find a meaningful relationship, your posts come off as you being bitter that you've spent so much money on these women and have nothing to show for it.
I mean you do realise men who complain about how money they've spent are only complaining because they didn't see a return on what they consider to be an investment.
You can play the innocent all you want, but you're in the wrong place if you think some of us can't see straight through your I want a meaningful relationship horseshit.
Bruce Springsteen
Member
calm down fellas
Incendiary
Banned
I'm gonna take this piece by piece.
I bought my best friend a pint glass for Christmas. There is literally nobody in my life outside of my parents who I would spend $200 on for Christmas. Throwing that much at a girl who is just a "friend" is ridiculous, unless you're literally Bill Gates or Drake. Even though you say money isn't the issue, the fact that you bring it up in your stories means it is an issue, even if it's subconscious.
When I recount my dates to GAF, I talk about what we did. Not what I spent. Look at the thread title: do you think that $6 is there for no reason? A guy comes in here and said he told off a girl who stood him up because he spent $6 on parking. That was the focal point of his story. By bringing up the monetary amount, you make it look like the money you spend on dates is important to you, therefore GAF is going to judge you on it (sometimes harshly).
Dude. The only time you should be spending $200 on a second date is if it's your second time at a strip club and your favorite dancer promises you a handy in the VIP room.
Not seriously.
But seriously.
People pull this all the time. Unfortunately it's just another excuse that comes up and you have to roll with it. That's why you don't overinvest (both money and feelings wise) until you're officially in a relationship.
And honestly, you're more likely to find a real relationship if you stop throwing around cash so much - you're more likely to attract women who are only in it for the expensive shit and then let you go when you want to get serious.
Regretting who you spent money on is the same as regretting spending the money. Obviously you wouldn't regret those dates (and hold the woman less accountable) if you only went to Taco Bell instead of Universal.
Also people put different amounts of effort into friendship. The fact that it hurt that she didn't want to go to the bar with you means you were still pining for her, which meant YOU weren't ready to be just friends yet. When I can't hang out with female friends (who are actually friends) or they don't respond, I don't give two shits because I realize they have lives.
I'm 31 and I've never been on a date with a woman who has a kid. I've been on a date with a girl who had an ex-husband and could see the baggage immediately and bailed. It's very possible to find people your age (or younger) and don't have baggage or things tying them down - and the fact that you admit that you look for that is a huge tell.
Overall - there is clearly a lot of stuff you can work on (besides losing weight). Try not to view women as projects to fix. Don't swing for the fences and look to settle down after one date. And for the love of God, don't spend so much money! If you can see the mistakes you're making and put in the work, you'll have much better luck.
I bought my best friend a pint glass for Christmas. There is literally nobody in my life outside of my parents who I would spend $200 on for Christmas. Throwing that much at a girl who is just a "friend" is ridiculous, unless you're literally Bill Gates or Drake. Even though you say money isn't the issue, the fact that you bring it up in your stories means it is an issue, even if it's subconscious.
When I recount my dates to GAF, I talk about what we did. Not what I spent. Look at the thread title: do you think that $6 is there for no reason? A guy comes in here and said he told off a girl who stood him up because he spent $6 on parking. That was the focal point of his story. By bringing up the monetary amount, you make it look like the money you spend on dates is important to you, therefore GAF is going to judge you on it (sometimes harshly).
Dude. The only time you should be spending $200 on a second date is if it's your second time at a strip club and your favorite dancer promises you a handy in the VIP room.
Not seriously.
But seriously.
People pull this all the time. Unfortunately it's just another excuse that comes up and you have to roll with it. That's why you don't overinvest (both money and feelings wise) until you're officially in a relationship.
And honestly, you're more likely to find a real relationship if you stop throwing around cash so much - you're more likely to attract women who are only in it for the expensive shit and then let you go when you want to get serious.
Regretting who you spent money on is the same as regretting spending the money. Obviously you wouldn't regret those dates (and hold the woman less accountable) if you only went to Taco Bell instead of Universal.
Also people put different amounts of effort into friendship. The fact that it hurt that she didn't want to go to the bar with you means you were still pining for her, which meant YOU weren't ready to be just friends yet. When I can't hang out with female friends (who are actually friends) or they don't respond, I don't give two shits because I realize they have lives.
I'm 31 and I've never been on a date with a woman who has a kid. I've been on a date with a girl who had an ex-husband and could see the baggage immediately and bailed. It's very possible to find people your age (or younger) and don't have baggage or things tying them down - and the fact that you admit that you look for that is a huge tell.
Overall - there is clearly a lot of stuff you can work on (besides losing weight). Try not to view women as projects to fix. Don't swing for the fences and look to settle down after one date. And for the love of God, don't spend so much money! If you can see the mistakes you're making and put in the work, you'll have much better luck.
Ron Mexico
Member
Only thing I'll even slightly disagree with is the assumption that a divorce = baggage. My fiancee and I both were married once (to be fair, neither of us had children) and the lessons learned made this second time a hell of a lot stronger. Learning from your mistakes is a gift and those experiences only become baggage if you let them.
As for the money, Jaded, I have a really strong sense you're making yourself out to be someone you're completely not. If you made as much money as you make yourself out to, you wouldn't be quoting numbers like that trying to justify all this behavior and how you were wronged. If you spent properly, you wouldn't be bringing up how much you spent, because it would just be fucking normal. You're living a life you can't really manage in the hopes of finding a woman who will be impressed by your showmanship.
Maybe you're the exception
you're not
Messofanego
Banned
jadedm17, all this talk of money and wanting to spoil a woman, you sure you're not wanting to be a sugar daddy?
CrimsonSquall
Member
Wow the simpin is at an all time high on this page
LucidMomentum
Member
Gotdatmoney
Member
If the money is whatever then why did you give us a notarized account of your spending?
So the money was the issue then given you regret spending it at all.
Perhaps take up a religion that believes in reincarnation. That might help you not be dumb with your money.
If the money isn't the issue why do we need to keep hearing about it? People don't bring shit up just to say it doesn't matter. If you said it we know it bothers you.
Until it's your gf you shouldn't be attached and you shouldn't be spending money. You can have fun and not spend $800 on a girl who was down to go to her boo's favourite spot for cheap a month later. Seriously, she used you and you let her and you're just waving it off like the money doesn't matter. Hell yeah it matters. You don't spend on people you don't like.
I dunno the other stories but regardless don't get attached to someone who isn't your SO. And you didn't get used, you let yourself be a meal ticket. And you don't mind it either apparently so why you complaining?
I've never been on a vacation in my life, you wanna treat me?
That's the sign of someone who doesn't really like you. You normally should just cut contact with people like that.
If none of that is your fault why are you beating yourself up? Maybe date people who don't have kids?
We can write a book about all the stuff you've done wrong. But first and foremost, the stuff you are listing, no one gives a shit about that. No girl in my life ever went "Oh Gotdatmoney, you're car and your charm was why I fuck with you". Son is you serious?
All it takes is 1 date to mess things up, eh?
The girl I've been seeing has had a sore throat for the past few weeks and it turns out she has mono. From the sounds of things her symptoms are pretty bad, so she has to stay off of alcohol since her liver isn't looking too good.
The vibe from the start was obviously off, and it turns out she has other family issues which have popped up as well. The chemistry between us just felt off because of all of this, and although she still wants to meet up over the weekend to go to a museum, I have a feeling things are going to end soon.
I really like this girl so things are bumming me out, as well as the thought of potentially getting mono over Christmas...
Also should I text her the following? I'm honestly not quite sure what to say in a situation like this.
"Hey, I'm sorry to hear about your day and how things are going. I hope you got home safe and I look forward to Saturday"
Ughhhhh
The girl I've been seeing has had a sore throat for the past few weeks and it turns out she has mono. From the sounds of things her symptoms are pretty bad, so she has to stay off of alcohol since her liver isn't looking too good.
The vibe from the start was obviously off, and it turns out she has other family issues which have popped up as well. The chemistry between us just felt off because of all of this, and although she still wants to meet up over the weekend to go to a museum, I have a feeling things are going to end soon.
I really like this girl so things are bumming me out, as well as the thought of potentially getting mono over Christmas...
Also should I text her the following? I'm honestly not quite sure what to say in a situation like this.
"Hey, I'm sorry to hear about your day and how things are going. I hope you got home safe and I look forward to Saturday
"Ughhhhh
Miles Quaritch
Member
I want to say you're overreacting but it's hard to tell. She just might have not been into the date but didn't want to let you down/wanted to see you so again, hard to tell.
Send the message, the worst that can happen is she replies and says it's not working out. At least that'll give you some closure and you take a few days to gather yourself and get back out there.
Again, I do think you're overreacting and reading too much into things, but hard to tell.
Send the message, the worst that can happen is she replies and says it's not working out. At least that'll give you some closure and you take a few days to gather yourself and get back out there.
Again, I do think you're overreacting and reading too much into things, but hard to tell.
Gotdatmoney
Member
I don't understand this feeling. Until you go to the museum and interact with her how will you know if anything is actually wrong?
I really like this girl so things are bumming me out, as well as the thought of potentially getting mono over Christmas... [/quote[
I mean, there is literally nothing to be bummed about yet though so . . .
And girl with mono will not get mad if you avoid kissing and shit.
Also should I text her the following? I'm honestly not quite sure what to say in a situation like this.
"Hey, I'm sorry to hear about your day and how things are going. I hope you got home safe and I look forward to Saturday
Ughhhhh
Uh that's fine I suppose.
Blitzrules240
Banned
This girl is an enigma to me.
Little background: We've hung out a couple time, got dinner one time (she got embarrassed when the waitress didn't split the check, second time, I ran a favor with her to get her hedgehog some food and then we grabbed lunch and I dropped her off.)
For the past few months though, she's been messaging me constantly to complain about something or even just some random thought on her mind or sometimes she sends me selfies and yeah, she's sorta cute but there's like no substance to some of her messaging. Like at times I'm bored to tears with our back and forth but I don't have the balls to tell her that she comes off as boring to me sometimes.
The messaging is on a weekly basis. Some conversations go places, sometimes it just goes nowhere but then she'll double message me.
So today, I had the day off, so I figured what the heck, I'll ask her if she wants to hang out, so I did on Sunday and she said we'll see and then this afternoon, she messaged me "sorry, slept all day".
Anyways, maybe I'm clueless but I can't tell if she likes me or if she's just looking for friendship or I'm missing blatant hints but idk what to do with this girl. Currently I'm just letting it lie where it is. An enigma.
Side note: I'm not really trying to date right now, there is some concern by my friends but I just got a promotion and I've been focused on fine tuning my new position and haven't really bothered to get back on the dating scene. 2016 was a weird year for me with hooking up with a divorcee cougar, trying to dating different types of women and ultimately failing and then just deciding to be content with being single.
Little background: We've hung out a couple time, got dinner one time (she got embarrassed when the waitress didn't split the check, second time, I ran a favor with her to get her hedgehog some food and then we grabbed lunch and I dropped her off.)
For the past few months though, she's been messaging me constantly to complain about something or even just some random thought on her mind or sometimes she sends me selfies and yeah, she's sorta cute but there's like no substance to some of her messaging. Like at times I'm bored to tears with our back and forth but I don't have the balls to tell her that she comes off as boring to me sometimes.
The messaging is on a weekly basis. Some conversations go places, sometimes it just goes nowhere but then she'll double message me.
So today, I had the day off, so I figured what the heck, I'll ask her if she wants to hang out, so I did on Sunday and she said we'll see and then this afternoon, she messaged me "sorry, slept all day".
Anyways, maybe I'm clueless but I can't tell if she likes me or if she's just looking for friendship or I'm missing blatant hints but idk what to do with this girl. Currently I'm just letting it lie where it is. An enigma.
Side note: I'm not really trying to date right now, there is some concern by my friends but I just got a promotion and I've been focused on fine tuning my new position and haven't really bothered to get back on the dating scene. 2016 was a weird year for me with hooking up with a divorcee cougar, trying to dating different types of women and ultimately failing and then just deciding to be content with being single.
Mobile Suit Gooch
Grundle: The Awakening
Bruh you don't even know the first thing about her. It's okay, let it go
Yeah, I'mma let it go.
I think I should read facial expressions too, next time.
DJ Lushious
Member
Before I respond, thanks to everyone that's helped over the past few days. I had those thoughts and feelings dragging on me and it got to a breaking point where I needed to talk about it.
I fired off some messages to some people from Chicago on OKC. I'm not expecting anything back, but, hey, it doesn't hurt to try!
) I worked there for a year and a half and was ultra miserable. There's a train that picks up in my town, so that was nice. However, it was 2 hours door-to-door. I'd get home, eat dinner, then sleep and get up and do it again the next day.
In response to your edit, yeah, also appreciated. I do love this community a lot!
Yeah, as good as the advice of moving is, it's not feasible for so many reasons, not just the house (though that is a big one).
I fired off some messages to some people from Chicago on OKC. I'm not expecting anything back, but, hey, it doesn't hurt to try!
I appreciate the resume review gesture! I'm a Network Administrator for two public schools. The IT Director is supposed to retire next summer, which would make me a fantastic/logical replacement. However, the way the Director's been talking, it all seems up in the air. I think this summer would be a perfect time to reevaluate the moving idea. For now, though, it has to be tabled.
Yeah, get this. My previous job was in downtown Chicago, just a block north of the Sears Tower (never call it "Willis Tower."Yeah, but "applying to jobs in Chicago", a place that it sounds like he could theoretically commute too (it'd be a shitty commute but still) is a bit different than the more general advice that was being said which just sounded like "drop everything and move". I think that's some good advice too, if for whatever reason he's unhappy with his job.
EDIT: And Lushious, if you do heavily consider moving again, I'd be happy to help as well, in, er... someway. I know it's a big step and super hard because of that house, but I'm sure your fellow GAFfers can help if you're serious about it
) I worked there for a year and a half and was ultra miserable. There's a train that picks up in my town, so that was nice. However, it was 2 hours door-to-door. I'd get home, eat dinner, then sleep and get up and do it again the next day. In response to your edit, yeah, also appreciated. I do love this community a lot!
There's a Barcade about 20 miles away from me. After talking with some friends about it, they thought it would be a good place to meet people. I'm a teetotaler, so I just don't hang out at bars, but there's video games there! The have consoles set up at the bar, so anyone can also sit there and rock out. The only time I went they had Mortal Kombat XL, Smash Bros., and something else that I forge. I'll be out of town for next week and Christmas follows immediately afterwards, but going to the barcade is high on my list of things to do when I get back.
I don't think 45+ miles is good to set up online/blind dates.
Chicago traffic is not all that bad, but, like any of the big cities, rush hour can be a gigantic pain in the ass.
Yeah, not a bad idea. See above about my job situation. If I get the need to hightail it and skip town, a realtor agent leasing the home may work out well!
dreamcastmaster
Banned
Truth.
Megalosaro
Banned
Okay guys.. here is a question for you.
I had these two coworkers a while back. Brother and sister. I was pretty chill with the bro, and thought the sister was pretty hot.
Three years have gone by since I was last saw either. I am fb friends with the bro. Yesterday, saw a pic of the sis on his profile and thought she was still looking hot.
I sent her a friend request, which she accepted. How long after that should I wait before pming her?
I had these two coworkers a while back. Brother and sister. I was pretty chill with the bro, and thought the sister was pretty hot.
Three years have gone by since I was last saw either. I am fb friends with the bro. Yesterday, saw a pic of the sis on his profile and thought she was still looking hot.
I sent her a friend request, which she accepted. How long after that should I wait before pming her?
Crash55118
Member
Three years is a pretty long time, just send a message and ask how she has been, and if she wants to get together to catch up?
dreamcastmaster
Banned
She's not into you, she's just using you for attention and an ego massage when she wants it. Shes keeping you just at arms length so you keep giving her attention but not enough so that you realise shes not into you. The selfies dont mean shit, just an easy way for her to get a compliment. Shes probably sending those same selfies to other guys.
Move on, find a girl thats actually interested in you. Stop giving this girl attention and she'll find another guy she can use for that.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
Sounds like you both regard each other as someone to talk to when you're bored.
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