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[artsi]

Another date is done, she made great food (again), had even prepared dessert. I promised that I'm buying dinner this friday as she's been doing so much.

Tonight when we cuddled she slipped something like "we're a funny couple ... wait wait I mean we WOULD be a funny couple" all flustered and it was sweet as hell lol.

I guess it's just a matter of time now until it's official anyway.

 

[Messofanego]

Gonna give a steady relationship a try. Dat FOMO tho...

This girl has wanted to be in a relationship with me for almost 2 years now, so it wasn't that difficult to get into. Apparently I have Vern's approval of her, as well.

MEGATON

 

[LucidMomentum]

Another date is done, she made great food (again), had even prepared dessert. I promised that I'm buying dinner this friday as she's been doing so much.

Tonight when we cuddled she slipped something like "we're a funny couple ... wait wait I mean we WOULD be a funny couple" all flustered and it was sweet as hell lol.

I guess it's just a matter of time now until it's official anyway.

Reminds me of that Louis CK bit where he mentions you can tell the moment a girl's decided that she's into a guy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uqVvZDKEd3A

But seriously, congrats! Sounds like you have a good thing going.

She responded!

I hadn't sent anything to her yet, but she apologised for how she was on Monday and asked how I've been. Based on what she's saying it doesn't sound like she'll want to meet up before she goes away, but I'm not entirely sure.

I'll send a response to her in the morning and go from there.

There ya go. Play the game my friend.

Sorry she seems to be losing interest or maybe she's just preparing for her return.

 

[The Power Of Snap]

This time of year is so busy. the girl i have been seeing for 2 months is amazing. I am just overly anxious from previous baggage.

I need to calm down and just go with it. Everything says she is 110% on board. New dates planned and a little get away planned in january.

2 weeks between hanging out for more than an hour is rough on my balls and anxiety.

Tell me about it, my 3rd date with a girl is like in January lol.

 

[dreamcastmaster]

Okay, that one is new... Profile looks legit too, with many pictures, questions and a decent length profile. Never talked before, this is a first message; Complete stranger with a genuine-looking profile.

So, did you take her or is she dead now?

 

[Will the Thrill]

Ask a girl out, she just sends like 10 of those thinking emojis

Spoiler

whhhy

On the bright side, coffee meets bagel seems alright. Better than bumble, and already getting me better results than OkCupid ever did.

 

[Makonero]

Alright, so I've been seeing this girl for almost two months. She's fun, sweet, thoughtful, pretty, and basically everything I've been looking for.

The problem is that I'm not excited about her. This is the first time I'm trying to take things slow and have a healthy relationship and it's nice that I'm not infatuated since I'm not overly anxious or obsessed. But I don't get butterflies and my heart doesn't leap when she texts or calls and I kind of miss that.

So is it that there's just no spark and I should call it quits before she gets too invested, or that this feels different because I'm actually doing this the right way? Should I just give it more time and see if I fall in love over time? Infatuation never lasts anyways so maybe it's not worth pursuing.

I have a lot of fun with her and I think she's great. I just wish I was more excited about her.

 

[btrboyev]

Another date is done, she made great food (again), had even prepared dessert. I promised that I'm buying dinner this friday as she's been doing so much.

Tonight when we cuddled she slipped something like "we're a funny couple ... wait wait I mean we WOULD be a funny couple" all flustered and it was sweet as hell lol.

I guess it's just a matter of time now until it's official anyway.

That was your time to say "why don't we make that statement true"?

 

[CrimsonSquall]

That was your time to say "why don't we make that statement true"?

Ew no bruh, that's juvenile

 

[ZackieChan]

MEGATON

Ayyy lmao

She's cute. I'd wifey her, though her forehead is a bit too small.




He lives a pretty similar life to me, so judging by my post about 2 months ago when I said I was giving the relationship thing a try... I give him a month.

Yeah, we'll see. She's real intense, I told her she's gotta relax. I'm super chill. And she likes The Blacklist. 😒

Dat forehead tho

I don't believe it.



Geez bruh

To think Dating GAF Bachelor #1 is going off the market

Pretty interested to see how Zackie handles being tied down and having to deal with real relationship shit.

Godspeed brother.

I was in a 10-year relationship at one point. I know the drill.

2 years, what a wait. Did you friend zone her up until now or has it been an on and off sort of thing?

FOMO can be a killer, it's been the reason a lot of my relationships have ended. Girls wondering if they should try something else, not wanting to be tied down while young, etc.

Most of the time they never brought it up to me until after though, which was rough.

She wasn't going to date me unless I was ready to be in a real relationship. I wasn't having that - too much fun dating. Now I'm a bit tired.

FOMO is on my end!

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

Alright, so I've been seeing this girl for almost two months. She's fun, sweet, thoughtful, pretty, and basically everything I've been looking for.

The problem is that I'm not excited about her. This is the first time I'm trying to take things slow and have a healthy relationship and it's nice that I'm not infatuated since I'm not overly anxious or obsessed. But I don't get butterflies and my heart doesn't leap when she texts or calls and I kind of miss that.

So is it that there's just no spark and I should call it quits before she gets too invested, or that this feels different because I'm actually doing this the right way? Should I just give it more time and see if I fall in love over time? Infatuation never lasts anyways so maybe it's not worth pursuing.

I have a lot of fun with her and I think she's great. I just wish I was more excited about her.

Only you know the answer to that. Some don't get tied down because they like the thrill of the chase too much. Others can't wait to settle and prefer stability and security.

What do you want out of the relationship? If it's your first healthy one, maybe it's a good thing. Or maybe you're finding out it's not what you want.

If you have doubts you should discuss it with her.

 

[dreamcastmaster]

Ask a girl out, she just sends like 10 of those thinking emojis

Spoiler

whhhy

Saying no, without saying no so you still keep giving her attention. Move on.

 

[Xun]

There ya go. Play the game my friend.

Sorry she seems to be losing interest or maybe she's just preparing for her return.

Well she is sick and had a lot on so maybe it's not all bad?

You'll have to quote to see what she said below, so I'm curious as to what you guys think of the general vibe of her message?

 

[Count Dookkake]

Zackie getting wifed up!?

You youngsters better appreciate the limited time he has to assist in your travails.

 

[ZackieChan]

Zackie getting wifed up!?

You youngsters better appreciate the limited time he has to assist in your travails.

Everybody relax.
Plus, all the Trump threads here are depressing. This one is my only solace.

 

[Messofanego]

Alright, so I've been seeing this girl for almost two months. She's fun, sweet, thoughtful, pretty, and basically everything I've been looking for.

The problem is that I'm not excited about her. This is the first time I'm trying to take things slow and have a healthy relationship and it's nice that I'm not infatuated since I'm not overly anxious or obsessed. But I don't get butterflies and my heart doesn't leap when she texts or calls and I kind of miss that.

So is it that there's just no spark and I should call it quits before she gets too invested, or that this feels different because I'm actually doing this the right way? Should I just give it more time and see if I fall in love over time? Infatuation never lasts anyways so maybe it's not worth pursuing.

I have a lot of fun with her and I think she's great. I just wish I was more excited about her.

This is not just for you, but for everyone who starts to feel different about a partner a little ways into a relationship. You've settled into the relationship, so it's no longer new love. Could just be the cortisol (butterflies in stomach) levels have gone down and serotonin doesn't go down anymore (which would cause infatuation before), so you don't feel as anxious or obsessive anymore.

The Scientific Reason The ‘Honeymoon Phase’ Goes Away https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JWc3Ql0vsvc

But maybe you need to do more exciting things like you used to do, to get the dopamine and oxytocin back up.

Or it could be something else you're not telling us about her.

 

[Will the Thrill]

Saying no, without saying no so you still keep giving her attention. Move on.

Yeah people are odd, sent like a joke message after she did that and she never responded.

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

Well she is sick and had a lot on so maybe it's not all bad?

You'll have to quote to see what she said below, so I'm curious as to what you guys think of the general vibe of her message?

She seems remorseful. Give her some space for now but try to stay in contact when she's on her trip.

 

[DragoonKain]

Best of luck to all the single men out there in 2017!

 

[dreamcastmaster]

In 2014, I met the love of my life. A married woman whose marriage was basically just a formality, and she was abused and is in the process of getting a divorce and looking to find another man. I was skeptical at first, because whenever I hear the term "married" it's not just an immediate red flag, it's an immediate nuclear alert siren. Against my better judgement, things progressed super fast, and she told me I was the love of her life, and it was kismet and we were meant to be, and the sweetest most heart-melting things I've ever heard. I felt like I was in a fairy tale for months. Every day I'd wake up and be like can this really be happening? This stuff only happens in the movies. Totally different than any woman I've ever met. I told friends this might be "it."

Anyway, long story short, basically one day a flip switched, and Mrs. Perfect turned out to be a total psycho who was basically looking to control, use, manipulate, and verbally and emotionally abuse a kind-hearted guy to feel better about themselves, and drop that person(me!) like a bag of dirt a few steps shy of an engagement. I mean, I've been in "honeymoon stages" before in relationships, but never experienced a change this drastic. This was like Pam from The Office turning into Glenn Close from Fatal Attraction. A wolf in sheep's clothing who basically put on a 2 year charade of lies and deceit. Heart ripped out like never before. Never will I hold a deeper animosity for another human being than this woman. Complete and total devastation 2016 - the year from hell.

Best of luck to all the single men out there in 2017!

Sounds like you met my ex wife! But seriously, same thing happened to me I think its some bi polar problem where thier partners are either the best person ever or the worst. when you say its a switch thats what it was like with her for me.

Its not you, dont let it hold you back or distrust others. You didnt do.anything wrong and your judgement isnt off.

PM me if want to exchange notes.

 

[DragoonKain]

Sounds like you met my ex wife! But seriously, same thing happened to me I think its some bi polar problem where thier partners are either the best person ever or the worst. when you say its a switch thats what it was like with her for me.

Its not you, dont let it hold you back or distrust others. You didnt do.anything wrong and your judgement isnt off.

PM me if want to exchange notes.

I suspected bipolar disorder, but I'm not a doctor, so I didn't want to judge.

 

[SneakersSO]

Gonna give a steady relationship a try. Dat FOMO tho...

These are lies.

Btw, I dunno if many of ya'll remember me around these parts, but I just wanted to give a general update - been together since we got together this summer. Couldn't be happier. Everything worked out fantastic.

 

[ZackieChan]

Dat edit - not fast enough.

Just remember that you are a million times better off now than when you were with her. She did you a favor by revealing her true colors before you were married. Go forth and enjoy life!

 

[bluethree]

I actually brought a ghost back to life by (nicely!) asking why the conversation fizzled out while we were in the middle of making plans. I know that's not something you're really "supposed" to do, but it worked out and she asked to meet me for coffee this Sunday.

(Turns out she was just really nervous before).

 

[Miles Quaritch]

I actually brought a ghost back to life by (nicely!) asking why the conversation fizzled out while we were in the middle of making plans. I know that's not something you're really "supposed" to do, but it worked out and she asked to meet me for coffee this Sunday.

(Turns out she was just really nervous before).

Sure, or what she had going on at that time fizzled out and now you're back in the picture.

Not trying to bum you out, but take that nervous excuse with a healthy pinch of salt and don't become too invested.

And good luck.

 

[bluethree]

Man, this thread seriously gets a little too harsh for my tastes sometimes. Given some of the stories in here I kinda get why, but still. I get that you're just trying to be helpful though.

Not someone I'm *overly* interested in and I thought it was just something interesting to share.

 

[SeriuzBiznus]

Another date is done, she made great food (again), had even prepared dessert. I promised that I'm buying dinner this friday as she's been doing so much.

Tonight when we cuddled she slipped something like "we're a funny couple ... wait wait I mean we WOULD be a funny couple" all flustered and it was sweet as hell lol.

I guess it's just a matter of time now until it's official anyway.

This is adorable <3 Congrats mate!

 

[Miles Quaritch]

Man, this thread seriously gets a little too harsh for my tastes sometimes. You can't post *anything* without some kind of negative counterpoint it seems. Given some of the stories in here I kinda get why, but geez. I get that you're just trying to be helpful though.

Not someone I'm *overly* interested in and I thought it was just something interesting to share.

You're taking this too personally and I question your suggestion about her not being someone you're *overly* interested in. She was clearly on your mind and you decided to reach out, that alone indicates a level of investment.

As I said, I'm not trying to bum you out but I get the sense you're not looking at the whole picture with this one.

I'd ask a simple question, what's changed since she was last nervous to now?

I hope it works out, but it feels odd to me that someone would be nervous, ghost you and then X time later suddenly be OK to meet and not be nervous any more.

 

[Xun]

She seems remorseful. Give her some space for now but try to stay in contact when she's on her trip.

I'm going to drop her a message soon and just try and give her as much space as possible.

Should I still ask if she's on for Saturday at some point today or tomorrow?

 

[Ray Wonder]

You're taking this too personally and I question your suggestion about her not being someone you're *overly* interested in. She was clearly on your mind and you decided to reach out, that alone indicates a level of investment.

As I said, I'm not trying to bum you out but I get the sense you're not looking at the whole picture with this one.

I'd ask a simple question, what's changed since she was last nervous to now?

I hope it works out, but it feels odd to me that someone would be nervous, ghost you and then X time later suddenly be OK to meet and not be nervous any more.

Possibly she's still nervous and just needed that extra push of him saying he's interested one more time.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

Man, this thread seriously gets a little too harsh for my tastes sometimes. Given some of the stories in here I kinda get why, but still. I get that you're just trying to be helpful though.

Not someone I'm *overly* interested in and I thought it was just something interesting to share.

I think a healthy amount of skepticism should be applied to your situation. No need to be jaded, this is a good outcome obviously but in general, when people just ignore your attempt at a date the reason isn't normally as innocent as "I was nervous".

Nervous about what?

 

[Ray Wonder]

I think a healthy amount of skepticism should be applied to your situation. No need to be jaded, this is a good outcome obviously but in general, when people just ignore your attempt at a date the reason isn't normally as innocent as "I was nervous".

Nervous about what?

Nervous about going on a date, like a lot of people are?

 

[Messofanego]

I actually brought a ghost back to life by (nicely!) asking why the conversation fizzled out while we were in the middle of making plans. I know that's not something you're really "supposed" to do, but it worked out and she asked to meet me for coffee this Sunday.

(Turns out she was just really nervous before).

I've done this also, but I'm also aware that it's possible they weren't available or talking to someone else but it didn't work out, so they don't mind talking to you. Like Miles said.

Which is fine! People in online dating are talking to multiple people at a time. Whether or not they're settling for you or re-evaluating you in a different light that makes you better, it's just part of the game.

Yes, this place is "harsh" if you just want confirmation bias on how well something is going. The great thing about this thread is, you get unbiased feedback compared to yourself who can be biased with not the most logical thinking especially if you're in the more irrational early stages of infatuation/love. You might not be able to see it all in a clear light. Some of the usual suspects never get out of that daze and so keep on relaying the same mistakes to these threads, but generally it's great so you can take a step back from what's going on and see what others think of the situation in a more logical manner. This allows you to pump your brakes before you make a big mistake.

 

[Booser]

Tonight when we cuddled she slipped something like "we're a funny couple ... wait wait I mean we WOULD be a funny couple" all flustered and it was sweet as hell lol.

Hmmmm sounds like the mother of all hints dude. It doesn't get more obvious than that. You probably won't get much more of them either if you don't bite

Kudos to the guy who resurrected the ghost. We all have a ghost we wish we could necromance (see what I did there??) But I think others have hit the nail on the head. It's more likely it didn't work out with some other dude and she's open to you now. Still go for it! Life is funny like that.

I have a first date on saturday with a girl I'm looking forward to seeing. She seems pretty and funny. Only problem is I sprained my foot so I'm now on crutches for two weeks, and I'm dosed with the dreaded man flu and I look like shit. I'm hoping things improve before saturday. I really don't wanna put this off, even though she has offered to reschedule for during the week (not god for me).

I postponed a date before, and when I went to ask if she was available two weeks later I got a "I've started seeing someone else and I want to see where it goes" reply. Things move fast in online dating, there is a lot of pressure.

 

[Lamiafusion]

Been dating a girl for almost 8 months now from OKC. She is amazing. We have our issues, big and small but she is always there for me. My last relationship was when I was 17 and only lasted 3 months. I am 29 now. With not having a lot of experience under my belt, I tend to make a lot of mistakes that I would have probably avoided with a couple more relationships under my belt. Somehow she puts up with all of my bullshit. I even broke up with her for a week. It was a stupid stupid mistake that I made instead of talking about our problems. Anyways, things are great. Keep fighting the good fight GAF.

 

[led4lyfe]

Okay, that one is new... Profile looks legit too, with many pictures, questions and a decent length profile. Never talked before, this is a first message; Complete stranger with a genuine-looking profile.

I have a friend who lives outside Tampa and he received a similar message last week. Took some random girl to the hospital, not sure which one though.

 

[artsi]

That was your time to say "why don't we make that statement true"?

Hmmmm sounds like the mother of all hints dude. It doesn't get more obvious than that. You probably won't get much more of them either if you don't bite

lol yeah, she knows I feel the same, no way I'm going to miss this chance.

We've also both told our families about each other, we made plans for christmas, and I promised to take her home some day (she wants to see our horses lol) so it's pretty much a done deal.

 

[gaiages]

Best of luck to all the single men out there in 2017!

Dammit I was really hoping to make a joke about your username with that beginning

Sorry you had to go through that bruh

Man, this thread seriously gets a little too harsh for my tastes sometimes. Given some of the stories in here I kinda get why, but still. I get that you're just trying to be helpful though.

Not someone I'm *overly* interested in and I thought it was just something interesting to share.

I think you took that way too personally. Miles was simply saying not to get your hopes too high up, and while that might seem obvious to you, it is really not obvious to A LOT of people that come through here. He wasn't attacking you personally, just giving advice to not be too excited and she might ghost again.

I'm going to drop her a message soon and just try and give her as much space as possible.

Should I still ask if she's on for Saturday at some point today or tomorrow?

Look, we cannot do every step of this for you. Seriously. Chill out, smoke a blunt or something if it's legal where you are, and just do what you think is best, provided you aren't clingy.

I saw your posts in the Mental Health thread as well. You really, really need to calm down about this.

Been dating a girl for almost 8 months now from OKC. She is amazing. We have our issues, big and small but she is always there for me. My last relationship was when I was 17 and only lasted 3 months. I am 29 now. With not having a lot of experience under my belt, I tend to make a lot of mistakes that I would have probably avoided with a couple more relationships under my belt. Somehow she puts up with all of my bullshit. I even broke up with her for a week. It was a stupid stupid mistake that I made instead of talking about our problems. Anyways, things are great. Keep fighting the good fight GAF.

Congrats bro! :3

 

[Ashby]

Just read an article entitled "80% of singles will not go on one date in 2017." Just the headline I wanted to read after just coming out of a 4 year relationship!

 

[Sarcastic Poster]

I went on a date last night and ended up eating the booty like groceries. Actually was pretty good.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

Just read an article entitled "80% of singles will not go on one date in 2017." Just the headline I wanted to read after just coming out of a 4 year relationship!

Literally no reason to believe you wont be in the 20% that do. Are you gonna let an article really determine how you feel about the next 12 months?

 

[Jokab]

Look at it this way: if you go on just a single date, you've done better than 80% of other people in that department. That's an achievement in itself

 

[Afrocious]

I think I need to have more sex in my life. All I really do is date. I know that sounds doggish and feel free to check me on that, but still.

On top of that, I tend to piss off the women I hook up with because they want to get closer to me. I don't know if I'm ready for that.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

Just read an article entitled "80% of singles will not go on one date in 2017." Just the headline I wanted to read after just coming out of a 4 year relationship!

What were the reasons given for this?

 

[Salamando]

Just read an article entitled "80% of singles will not go on one date in 2017." Just the headline I wanted to read after just coming out of a 4 year relationship!

I'd love to see that article, as it seems ripe for misuse of information.

If you're actively trying to date people, anyone can pull in at least one date a year.

I think I need to have more sex in my life. All I really do is date. I know that sounds doggish and feel free to check me on that, but still.

On top of that, I tend to piss off the women I hook up with because they want to get closer to me. I don't know if I'm ready for that.

Why? Is it a lack of experience thing, a desire for more types of experiences, or simply because you want to have lots of fun before you settle down? If you met a girl who was a total nympho, would that be enough?

Before I check you on this, need to know what I'm checking! Getting serious with girls when there's a gross discrepancy in sex drive is a very real problem.

 

[amanset]

I've managed to completely accidentally fall totally and utterly for a workmate. Which is always a no-no.

Who is currently in a relationship. Double no-no.

At least I am starting a new job in the beginning of February (and out of here a week before that). Just got to make it until that. And try and stop the continual messaging to each other that we seem to do.

Despite one of my workmates (a good friend of hers) pushing me to pursue it, I am doing the opposite as, well, I just don't want to be that guy. Ever.

And it sucks.

As an update to this.

Last night the good friend basically begged me to tell her. Yes, we were drunk at it was about 3am out on the street in wintertime Stockholm, but she begged. And cried. And threatened to tell her if I don't.

Her argument is that I am a mess and the reason I am a mess is that I just don't know. I need an answer, closure. Either she says "I had no idea, shit, I need to think about this" or she just says "no". But either way I'll know.

But I still have my principles. I still feel someone in a relationship (as an aside, apparently a relationship that is currently having a few issues) is off limits. A no go. Say nothing.

But then there is the me being a mess.

Additionally, I thought I just had to get to the new job and I'd be away from it, free. Because the world has it in for me, the company is moving office in a bit of an emergency to, I kid you not, next door to where my new job is. We'll use the same entrance the courtyard. They'll all be there. She'll be there.

I won't be escaping.

So, Dating-GAF, what do I do? Stick to my principles and slowly unravel but hope that I can find someone to replace her (*) or tell her?



(*) Amusing story. I'm not very good at hitting on people. The last time I did was Halloween at a party and it turned out the woman was engaged (I'm awesome at this) and then we sat down, I told her that I was just looking for anyone to replace the workmate and then we talked about the workmate for half an hour or so. Because that's how my life is.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

Your friend sounds desperate for some drama.

By all means tell her though, ready yourself for rejection. I'm curious, how will you handle potential rejection?

You seem crazy invested and I can't see you taking a no with grace with you saying shit like you're already unraveling.

I mean, Jesus... it's embarrassing.

 

[Ashby]

What were the reasons given for this?

Who knows if it's bullshit or not: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/80-s...brunson?trk=hp-feed-article-title-channel-add

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

Your friend sounds desperate for some drama.

By all means tell her though, ready yourself for rejection. I'm curious, how will you handle potential rejection?

You seem crazy invested and I can't see you taking a no with grace with you saying shit like you're already unraveling.

I mean, Jesus... it's embarrassing.

Yes to this.

And what do you think the best-case scenario is? She leaves her boyfriend and confesses that she's been madly in love with you the whole time too?

You already know the answer.

 

[Xun]

Look, we cannot do every step of this for you. Seriously. Chill out, smoke a blunt or something if it's legal where you are, and just do what you think is best, provided you aren't clingy.

I saw your posts in the Mental Health thread as well. You really, really need to calm down about this.

I know I need to calm down, my mind is just a mess right now. Luckily I don't think I come across as too clingly since my anxiety makes me question every single message I send to everyone (which should be apparent), so sometimes I can seem a little bit too laid back (or so I've heard).

I appreciate the advice I've been given here and I usually wouldn't ask so many goddamn questions, but I guess I fell for this girl too easily. The thought of the impending "plague" ruining Christmas and the next few months is also stressing me out as well.