Miles Quaritch
Member
I'm up to 4 plates...of food in one sitting.
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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already
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Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Jealous. I'm squatting 255 and my next is bench at 190. GAF between reps. Can't wait for 2 plates.
ZackieChan
Member
I'm weak as hell. Y'all shaming me. Can't get a consistent Stronglifts going with my traveling lifestyle. Oh well.
This dad bod tho
Also, just email her. WTF are you afraid of?
This dad bod tho
Also, just email her. WTF are you afraid of?
Miles Quaritch
Member
I'm curious, why were you on Tinder when you told her you had quit?
Sure, the travelling lifestyle is the reason.
And it might be a phising scam? Can't be too careful.
ZackieChan
Member
It's partly the reason. I'm lazy AF, too.
Just giving out an email doesn't harm anything. It's what happens after that where he should be cautious. Attachments, links, etc.
Hell I don't blame you. Went to a gym in Tokyo once. Never again.
names2hard4you
Member
When school or work get too chaotic and I can't hit the metal, I hit the floor at home with P90X. Can't recommend that program enough, if you need to burn fat you will, if you wanna preserve muscle mass until you get back in the gym, you can do that too. P90X3 is even better because it's only 30min daily workouts.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
People don't have multiple email accounts? I have 2: one I use for regular commerce, one I communicate with, and I'll use throwaway emails for signing up for shadier things.
I'm more troubled by the "for some reason I can still reply!" aspect, but he should go for it. Why not?
Similarly, I can't recommend StrongLifts enough. It's simple, easy, and you'll see gains. I just realized: I can bench my weight now. And way too many girls are into muscled arms, even with my dad bod abdomen.
If it is eHarmony, the "for some reason I can still reply!" aspect makes sense...her subscription ran out, she can still reply, and didn't notice they have a free communication weekend right now.
Gotdatmoney
Member
2 plates is the dream. But frankly if I stayed where I am at right now I wouldnt realy care. I am not disciplined enough to maintain 2 plates for any significant period of time
I dont think I could travel the way you do and gym consistently. Seems likenit would be 3x the effort I put in now which is already my threhold.
Just rock the bod with confidence.
LucidMomentum
Member
You can squat more than I can (200) so good stuff! I would stress it too much though, everyone's different as is better at certain lifts.
It is fun to tell a girl I could bench press her easily though.
Rarely works as a flirting device but when it does...
Yeah, if you're optimistic it's a neat opportunity, so why not reply to her email?
I've been on the receiving end of enough fake email attempts to get money out of me though, so I'd be a bit cynical. But hey, worth shooting the email to see where it goes.
Been having pretty good dates lately so this isn't a reaction to anything in particular, but I remember that "Tinder is destroying men's confidence" thread and I have to say I've felt a lot better about Tinder than OKCupid. The problem with OKCupid is also its strength: you read more about the person and get to know them better, so you feel better equipped to start a convo that might be interesting. So you send a few messages, talking back and forth and laughing, exchange numbers to set up a date...and then you get ghosted when it comes time to actually set a date and time. That shit hurts a lot more than a girl not replying on Tinder, and seems to happen more often than it should.
I've gone on a few dates with a girl from Tinder over the last week, and she took the initiative to set up a date for Saturday to see the dinosaur exhibit at the Franklin Institute, so I've been feeling especially good about Tinder results lately, haha.
I've gone on a few dates with a girl from Tinder over the last week, and she took the initiative to set up a date for Saturday to see the dinosaur exhibit at the Franklin Institute, so I've been feeling especially good about Tinder results lately, haha.
For me the problem with okcupid is that there's less pre-selection so you have to take more of a chance when messaging people. On Tinder, you need to match with a girl before you can even talk to her, so you know she has at least some interest in you. You don't get that on okcupid (unless you use the quick match feature) so it's more like throwing a bunch of messages out and hoping to get a reply.
I agree with your general point too that okcupid is slower and you tend to learn more about the person before meeting them, which I feel is a bad thing. With tinder you can match, exchange a few jokes and set up a date with them before learning their life story or even what they do for a living. That's the ideal way to handle online dating for me. It's not real until you meet in person. Don't waste time getting to know them over text/email.
I went on 3 dates in a week, got laid, and then basically called it off/we mutually agreed to end it cause I was recently (within 3 months) out of a 7.5 almost 8 year relationship and she felt she was a rebound. I was just going for someone I used to like years ago as a friend and found awesome to be around...but whatever. (She had invited me to go out on what I assumed were dates back then, but I politely declined cause I was taken, but we'd still hang out in groups). Meh. Kinda sucks, but she's "giving me space" (lol). I'll worry about dating some more down the road, I want to lose weight, get in shape, and generally just feel better given the ex-fiancé thing is still fairly fresh. (It was a shit year).
Hooked up with a girl at a convention a few weeks before too - again, completely new to me after only having one person for such a long time. She put her number into my phone - in my head I was like "What is happening" - ha.
But hey, I asked myself "Who do you like/have an interest in" - thought of that girl, it'd been a while since we talked, I messaged her and we reconnected, I asked her out within a couple days and we hit things off, had some fun. Nothing wrong with that. I really have no idea what I want, though, after my mind's been wrapped up in one person for so long. I am sort of fearless in that I pursued two people within a month and a bit of each other, or showed interest, and it worked. Confidence boost for sure. But I really have no idea what I'm doing.
Hooked up with a girl at a convention a few weeks before too - again, completely new to me after only having one person for such a long time. She put her number into my phone - in my head I was like "What is happening" - ha.
But hey, I asked myself "Who do you like/have an interest in" - thought of that girl, it'd been a while since we talked, I messaged her and we reconnected, I asked her out within a couple days and we hit things off, had some fun. Nothing wrong with that. I really have no idea what I want, though, after my mind's been wrapped up in one person for so long. I am sort of fearless in that I pursued two people within a month and a bit of each other, or showed interest, and it worked. Confidence boost for sure. But I really have no idea what I'm doing
.names2hard4you
Member
Fitness and dating goes hand in hand. You can be a sweet talker and feel great about yourself, but being fit gives you a big boost in both confidence and energy. Not to mention the benefits it has in your health. All of these are factors that will affect your innard and outward appearance, which is something I think everyone cares about on a personal level. If you feel good about yourself, others will notice it too.
Gotdatmoney
Member
It's not fit gaf til someone tells you push ups are useless.
Truth.
Paking on some muscle did good things for the confidence level. Also, feels good when the girls openly admire the arm game lolol.
Clay Davis
Member
Hey dating gaf, did everyone have a good Christmas?
This isn't me needing advice but it also is, if that makes any kind of sense? I'm more than a little discombobulated after today, so I apologise if this is disjointed or anything like that.
Today I spent the day with a friend (ex girlfriend who became a friend) watching TV. We were originally supposed to go out shopping but when she arrived she said she wasn't in the mood and said she wanted to stay at home instead. I said okay and went out to buy some provisions (snacks etc) and we sat in my bedroom watching Netflix (the best TV in my house is in my room, it wasn't a calculated move or anything if that's what anyone wonders)
We were watching 13th and then started to watch Luke Cage. Two episodes in and she started to cuddle up to me. I didn't think anything of it because she's done it once before when we were coming home on the bus a week ago but this time she kept saying it felt good and she kept rubbing her head on my shoulder. I'm still in a state of confusion over how what happened next happened.
One second we're watching the show and the next we're kissing and she's on top of me. Everything moved so quickly, we're kissing we end up having sex. It didn't last very long and it honestly felt awkward. I won't deny it was good, but it still felt awkward. I know how odd that sounds, but that's the only way I can describe it. I still had most of my clothes on, so did she. There was no build up or anything, we went from kissing to sex in the space of a minute and the sex was over a minute after it started. I felt embarrassed and nearly said sorry for not lasting longer. She got off me, went to the toilet, came back and laid back down. The only reference to what happened was when she was leaving and she said we should do it again some time.
I don't know if this means we're trying again or if it was something that happened in the the moment? I'm so confused, this is the first time something like this has happened to me. I know I sound really inexperienced, but casual sex like this isn't something that I've ever pursued or had happen like this before.
Shall I talk to her about it or just chalk it up to emotions boiling over?
This isn't me needing advice but it also is, if that makes any kind of sense? I'm more than a little discombobulated after today, so I apologise if this is disjointed or anything like that.
Today I spent the day with a friend (ex girlfriend who became a friend) watching TV. We were originally supposed to go out shopping but when she arrived she said she wasn't in the mood and said she wanted to stay at home instead. I said okay and went out to buy some provisions (snacks etc) and we sat in my bedroom watching Netflix (the best TV in my house is in my room, it wasn't a calculated move or anything if that's what anyone wonders)
We were watching 13th and then started to watch Luke Cage. Two episodes in and she started to cuddle up to me. I didn't think anything of it because she's done it once before when we were coming home on the bus a week ago but this time she kept saying it felt good and she kept rubbing her head on my shoulder. I'm still in a state of confusion over how what happened next happened.
One second we're watching the show and the next we're kissing and she's on top of me. Everything moved so quickly, we're kissing we end up having sex. It didn't last very long and it honestly felt awkward. I won't deny it was good, but it still felt awkward. I know how odd that sounds, but that's the only way I can describe it. I still had most of my clothes on, so did she. There was no build up or anything, we went from kissing to sex in the space of a minute and the sex was over a minute after it started. I felt embarrassed and nearly said sorry for not lasting longer. She got off me, went to the toilet, came back and laid back down. The only reference to what happened was when she was leaving and she said we should do it again some time.
I don't know if this means we're trying again or if it was something that happened in the the moment? I'm so confused, this is the first time something like this has happened to me. I know I sound really inexperienced, but casual sex like this isn't something that I've ever pursued or had happen like this before.
Shall I talk to her about it or just chalk it up to emotions boiling over?
artsi
Member
I'm not expert or anything, but I think it has something to do with you being in bed (?) with an attractive person of the opposite sex, who you have also had sex with before.
Sorry I don't know what it means or what's the right course of action here, but it seems like you enjoy each other's company ¯\_(ツ
_/¯Are you a male (just wondering because Lulu is a feminine name)? If so can I see a pic of yours, even via PM? Just curious. Thanks.
names2hard4you
Member
Also worth mentioning, I've been told by many of my dates that the first thing they look at in a guy aside from their face is their arms ^
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
100% true. Current girl loves them, as did the last chick I dated semi-regularly. And it's pretty easy to get toned arms.
Need to work on my Flat Tummy Tea game.
Talk to her.
Before you do, think about what you want. You're exes for a reason...was the problem something that has been resolved, or does it still exist? Do you want to date her, or just be fuck buddies?
And dude, I don't know if there's any good reason to take a girl to your bedroom when you don't want to put making out/sex on the table.
Miles Quaritch
Member
Ya'll need to stop the lifting chatter. Making those lazy fucks out there feel bad and shit.
What's hard to understand here?
She likely felt horny and was familiar with you, so decided to go for it. There's literally nothing else to it. It doesn't mean she wants to give things another go, it doesn't mean she's seeing you in a new light. She was horny, she sensed you were horny too, probably because you didn't push her away and reciprocating so you did the dirty. Why are you embarrassed you didn't last longer? I'm at a loss as to what you're thinking here? Do you think she was expecting an hour long sex session?
Casual sex in the way you've described it often happens exactly how you described it. Fully clothed, doesn't last very long. It's the end result of a built up emotions/hormones/urges. And it's fucking hot. Some of the most memorable sex I've had has been fully clothed. The emotion, the intensity, the sensations are all dialled up to a million.
If you're really wondering why it happened beyond being horny. Maybe there were some unresolved emotions/feelings from the breakup?
Listen, don't overthink things. Just relax, keep things cool and see how they play out. Maybe she wants you as a FWB or maybe not. Making a big deal out of it could cost you the friendship.
And move your TV downstairs. I think you know exactly what keeping your TV in your room means and you know keeping it there will increase the likelihood of what happened today. Don't play that innocent shit here.
What's hard to understand here?
She likely felt horny and was familiar with you, so decided to go for it. There's literally nothing else to it. It doesn't mean she wants to give things another go, it doesn't mean she's seeing you in a new light. She was horny, she sensed you were horny too, probably because you didn't push her away and reciprocating so you did the dirty. Why are you embarrassed you didn't last longer? I'm at a loss as to what you're thinking here? Do you think she was expecting an hour long sex session?
Casual sex in the way you've described it often happens exactly how you described it. Fully clothed, doesn't last very long. It's the end result of a built up emotions/hormones/urges. And it's fucking hot. Some of the most memorable sex I've had has been fully clothed. The emotion, the intensity, the sensations are all dialled up to a million.
If you're really wondering why it happened beyond being horny. Maybe there were some unresolved emotions/feelings from the breakup?
Listen, don't overthink things. Just relax, keep things cool and see how they play out. Maybe she wants you as a FWB or maybe not. Making a big deal out of it could cost you the friendship.
And move your TV downstairs. I think you know exactly what keeping your TV in your room means and you know keeping it there will increase the likelihood of what happened today. Don't play that innocent shit here.
How did you get on with this?
... and this?
This is basically the situation I'm in. The whole other colleagues encouraging it thing is making it really difficult. Constant little comments about us...
I mean, I would just say something but she sits next to me in the office so she's 100% unavoidable if it went badly.
Miles Quaritch
Member
Tell your colleagues to mind their own business. They only care about the drama and making work more fun for a few days.
You may be infatuated with her but has she done anything to show she's interested in the same way? Is she single and looking for a relationship? You also have to consider that if you do ask her out and she say yes and it doesn't work out, it'll make things so much worse than telling her you like her and being rejected.
Miles Quaritch
Member
That mofo playing the innocent card when his seduction game is on point.
TV is his room, snacks on hand, laying on a comfy bed which just happens to lead to cuddling because what's the alternative? Sitting at opposite sides of the bed? Bet he had the blinds closed and a few candles lit too.
Gotdatmoney
Member
Count Dookkake
Member
One of the best feelings is the first time a date feels you up and comments on how strong you must be.
Seriously. One of my friends is an ex. Her good TV is in her bedroom, and their couch is uncomfy as fuck. Know where we sit when we're at her place? On that non-fucking couch! (as in, this is a couch seemingly made for not fucking).
Hell, I don't even keep a TV in my bedroom.
It's been over months rather than days... they're not people I would ever tell to "mind your own business" either really. We're all quite close in our office and I consider them friends but they're all older (but not old) women - maybe they're just projecting themselves on to the two of us because we're significantly younger (and she's younger than me), I don't know.
We talk outside of work a lot and go out for lunch together some days. We talked about us the other day (in the context of the colleague comments) and she said (paraphrasing): imagine if we lived together though, don't you think it would weird to see each other at work all day and then at home as well? Not sure what to read in to her leaping straight to that scenario.
She has a boyfriend. He's a fucking waste of skin taking advantage of her and I think she's too young/immature to realise/care at the moment, but she did say she doesn't see a long term future with him.
So yeah. My contract expires at the end of February and I don't know if it's being renewed or not yet. So I could potentially drop the bomb then if I'm leaving anyway.
The other thing is I know the other women in the office have spoken with her about me when I've not been there, so maybe I could put the feelers out with them to see what vibe they were getting.
names2hard4you
Member
Off I go to the last date of 2016. Wish me luck!
Blackquill
Member
Never thought that I would start an argument over my case hahahahah
Good luck !
Good luck !
ZackieChan
Member
I'll never know that. Maybe on my arms (the right one, specifically).
I have an email anecdote. About a decade ago, I visited Japan and hit it off with some Aussie girl in Tokyo. Got her email before leaving to check out some other cities but I'd be back in Tokyo a week later. Lost her email but vaguely remembered it and wanted to contact her again for more drinks and whatnot. So I did what any desperate bachelor would do; I sent an email to every possible combination of the email that I thought I remembered, but left it all on the "to" portion, so even if she did receive my email, she also saw that it went to at least ten different other similar emails. There was obvisouly no response.
Jesus dude you get laid all the time and still have a strong masterbater arm? That libido is no joke
names2hard4you
Member
Date was fun, great girl, very smart. We both felt we wanted different things though, so we left it at that. Ended up being a nice way for me to get back out there after the break up. Onto the next one!
TimeEffect
Member
This girl wont leave me the heck alone. Im not interested in her, I sort of maybe lead her on, but within a week told her I just wanted to be friends and that I made a mistake... but that wont do for her.
I dont think I led her on, because I made it clear I want to be friends, but that didn't go as expected...
Can I please PM some of you the bigger story? I have never been in this situation and Im honestly stressed and even afraid she'll go batshit crazy. She already fucking cries at shit. I feel like she's manipulative. Argh.
I dont think I led her on, because I made it clear I want to be friends, but that didn't go as expected...
Can I please PM some of you the bigger story? I have never been in this situation and Im honestly stressed and even afraid she'll go batshit crazy. She already fucking cries at shit. I feel like she's manipulative. Argh.
ZackieChan
Member
That's what BCC is for, bro (blind carbon copy). They won't see the other addresses it's sent to.
iBlue
Member
I went there to check up on her profile. I had a weird feeling so I was right after all
Thatonemoor
Member
Hey I'm posting here because I don't really know what to do. Broke up with my gf a long time ago and I still miss her everyday. Been feeling lost without her and dont know what to do with myself. I hear going to the gym helps but my job is physically demanding and by the time my work day is over I'm to tired to go, and I'm overweight because I eat alot, I think it's because of my depression. Anyway any advice guys? Also no she won't talk to me or anything. Talking to her again is not an option. She has shut me completely out of her life.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Move on. Eat less. Make fewer excuses for yourself. See a therapist for your depression. Go to the gym.
Thatonemoor
Member
All that is easier said then done.
Thatonemoor
Member
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Agreed.
Now think of one positive, affirmative step towards doing any one of those necessary things.
Which step did you choose?
names2hard4you
Member
Gonna echo this. You are your own worst enemy. Not doing anything is the easy way out. Believe me when I say that your situation will not improve if you yourself don't improve as well. If you aren't happy about yourself, others won't either.
Time to work from the bottom up:
- Develop a diet and log your improvements, showing how much healthier you are eating
- Work out. Again, I recommend P90X or P90X3 if you don't want to hit the gym. These are very effective and can show results in 90 days if you stick to the plan.
- I was depressed not too long ago. Talk to someone. If you don't have someone to talk to, seek professional help.
Thatonemoor
Member
I guess I can work out more.
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