No it isn't as it doesn't imply that I am somehow different or special. There's loads of people like me. Loads.
I'm not gonna go in circle on this. I will just say that implying people really find it easy to sweep shit under the rug has an implied snark to it. If you don't see it shrug. End of the day I dont really care either way.
Did you see me continue to talk about this? Did I go on and on about how wrong you all were? No. Surprise, surprise, I took the advice on board. I even told the friend that was trying to get me to do something that I was uncomfortable with that the internet had spoken and I was continuing with my original plan of doing nothing.
Nothing in my post implied you didnt try. It plainly stated you are getting advice from people who had issues just like you and the advice they are givimg is coming directly from a place of experience. They didnt just get over shit instantly.
I think what I am trying to say is that sometimes on here there is a lack of empathy. How you say things is as important as what you say. Half the responses I got were just "you sound like a fucking crazy person", which may have been true but frankly doesn't help anyone. There was a lack of empathy, people trying to understand why I had got to the position I was in. And yes, that then makes you feel as if some people genuinely do not understand what the situation is like and how difficult it is to get out of.
There is a value to being told you are acting stupid when that is actually what is occuring. Sometimes 2000 word essays are not necessary for everyhing. Not to point you out specifically but some of the stuff posted here . . . It does beg the question "has no one told you this is ridiculous?"
On your situation specifically though it is basically I have feelings for a girl I worm closely with and she has a bf. If you arent willing to make the hard choices like branching out friends to avoid or trying to pivot away from her there isnt much to say.
Imo the real issue is that I think that you need to be able to put people in categories. It takes time and understanding of people and dynamics but its useful. If someone is taken then the way you interact with that person has to have a real context that this is a friendship that has no purpose beyond that. If this is my colleague then that dominates above all else etc etc. This personally is how I was able to deal with relationships and see the bigger picture.
Sorry, just calling it as I see it.
That's fine. It's just pointless as a discussion. If you think there is a lack of empathy now . . .
As I said (and did actually post earlier), I took on board the advice. The overwhelming majority of those that weren't just mocking me was what I felt myself. The spanner in the works was the friend that was trying to make me do something else.
I didnt quote you under the assumption you didnt take the advice
My issue is with those whose response to someone that was struggling to deal with someone that they had fallen for who not only was in a relationship but genuinely couldn't escape (work doesn't really let you avoid people just 'cos you have a thing for them) was "you sound like a crazy person".
Well newsflash, feelings have a weird tendency to do that.
I think people's issue was you started with, "I have hopelessly fallen in love with my coworker". Really paints a vivid picture of what to expect right from the start dont you think?
I think the common statement is think with your head not with your heart. Do you know why that is? I cant comment on what Miles has said since I dont remember beyond your first post but I agree with him that when someone is sonfar gone you cant reach them with empathy. You shouldnt normalize something unhealthy.
I can be empathetic to developing feeling for someone. I can't be empathetic someone out here tahm bout "I was nad this girl I like hadher boyfriend come to the store. She shouldnt do that to me wtf." (Yes actual situation from.dating age). That is dumb as fuxk.
