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[Segata Sanshiro]

Well shit, that cinches it, he's telling the truth guys.

 

[Y2Kev]

I wonder how they told Factor 5 they wouldn't be making an appearance at E3.

Uhhhh, about your game....yeah......

 

[Karma Kramer]

FAKE!



Wheres the sales tax? Guys he is pulling our legs... this is a hoax.

 

[beelzebozo]

no sales tax in fantasy land
also, here, every special edition comes with a cloth map

 

[Segata Sanshiro]

FAKE!



Wheres the sales tax? Guys he is pulling our legs... this is a hoax.

But what if he's from Oregon? THEN WHAT

 

[Karma Kramer]

But what if he's from Oregon? THEN WHAT

Well then he would have to PROVE IT!

I say we bring this to court. I WILL SUE YOU MR. BEELZEBOZO!!!!!

 

[Tideas]

Well then he would have to PROVE IT!

I say we bring this to court. I WILL SUE YOU MR. BEELZEBOZO!!!!!

u have no statute

 

[Woo-Fu]

Factor 5 doesn't actually know how to fix anything.

I don't think this is really fair. Considering their track record, this probably appears as something that doesn't need to be fixed. Somebody at Factor 5 loves this type of gameplay.

 

[Mmmkay]

Factor 5 doesn't actually know how to fix anything.

Well, the graphics on level 2 do look a bit better, but yeah someone forgot to send the memo about their damn gameplay.

 

[sprsk]

Take a picture of the state line.

 

[BenjaminBirdie]

i'm such a liar

Guys, he's clearly saying he's such a "lair" but spelling it wrong, as is the timbre of this extended gag. It is up to the individual "gagee" to interpret that as they see fit.

 

[Gigglepoo]

i'm such a liar

There is one way to prove it:

What won in the head-to-head matchup, Perfect Dark Zero or Resistance?

This thread will really explode now...

 

[beelzebozo]

There is one way to prove it:

What won in the head-to-head matchup, Perfect Dark Zero or Resistance?

This thread will really explode now...

pdz. more content for less money.









. . . boom

 

[pr0cs]

This is odd, I though Eggebrecht said that HDMI was absolutely necessary for this game to be good, with those scores maybe it looks like they needed more than HDMI?

Not surprised, most of the gameplay videos looked pretty dull. It will likely sell really well considering the PS3 audience is starving for PS3 developed software.

 

[FormulaOne]

beelzebozo take a picture with you holding the magazine and then I will believe you

That's not good enough. The animated GIF must be of beelzebozo reading it in the bathroom.

 

[LukeSmith]

Is that fake, give a full view of the mag please.


And how come you seem to be the only one to have seen it?

Joke post? :lol

 

[beelzebozo]

That's not good enough. The animated GIF must be of beelzebozo reading it in the bathroom.

occupado

 

[Psychotext]

This is odd, I though Eggebrecht said that HDMI was absolutely necessary for this game to be good, with those scores maybe it looks like they needed more than HDMI?

Wow, for a second party developer he was really hitting the Sony PR checksheet there. :lol

 

[B-Ri]

Not surprised, most of the gameplay videos looked pretty dull. It will likely sell really well considering the PS3 audience is starving for PS3 developed software.

uhhh, no im not really starved whatsoever. I wanted this game since it was shown off. Im gonna get it, i wish it got higher scores but oh well. If its anything like the Rogues ill like it.

 

[dirtmonkey37]

Wow. Blue Dragon and Lair bomba.

Beezle: What were their main gripes with Lair?

The problem is, those Blue Dragon scores were, more or less, expected -- those lair scores, those were not. I was not forecasting this game to be rated so low.

 

[GhaleonEB]

Nearly 1500 posts in and we're down to shooting the messenger?

 

[Testicular Sound Express]

april fools! It actually got 9,9,8.5

 

[The Elite]

Gaf Cannibalism at its finest.

 

[rakka]

Joke post? :lol

sadly no.

 

[super funk]

That's not good enough. The animated GIF must be of beelzebozo reading it in the bathroom.

And with two forms of identification and his grandma and like five of my boys have to be there to identify him.

 

[Karma Kramer]

Okay why hasn't a 1up editor posted here confirming these are the real scores? This is really bizarre.

 

[rakka]

april fools! It actually got 9,9,8.5

close.

 

[Wollan]

1up boards *shrug*

 

[beelzebozo]

the truth is, i work at the printing press where egm has their magazines produced. unfortunately for them, i also hate sony. and so, when my boss was away having a butter tart, i used my extensive government computer training (ex-cia) to change the scores from their intended "excellent" to a much less excellent "lol."

so while the magazine itself is indeed real, i am not the beelzebozo you thought you knew

 

[super funk]

close.

Nintendo developed Lair? EGM gets the facts wrong yet again.

 

[Grecco]

the truth is, i work at the printing press where egm has their magazines produced. unfortunately for them, i also hate sony. and so, when my boss was away having a butter tart, i used my extensive government computer training (ex-cia) to change the scores from their intended "excellent" to a much less excellent "lol."

so while the magazine itself is indeed real, i am not the beelzebozo you thought you knew

:lol

Seriously i cant believe people still doubt these scores 30 pages in.

 

[Karma Kramer]

the truth is, i work at the printing press where egm has their magazines produced. unfortunately for them, i also hate sony. and so, when my boss was away having a butter tart, i used my extensive government computer training (ex-cia) to change the scores from their intended "excellent" to a much less excellent "lol."

so while the magazine itself is indeed real, i am not the beelzebozo you thought you knew

I'll see you in court.

 

[TTP]

nvm

 

[Psychotext]

I'll see you in court.

Ex-CIA, you'll never make it.

 

[Y2Kev]

omg this is getting more and more awesome :lol

 

[Mike Works]

count the number of ridges on your xbox, it's the only way to know for sure

 

[Tideas]

count the number of ridges on your xbox, it's the only way to know for sure

I think we need a pictureo f fingerprints o the magazine to know it's his

 

[Narag]

I hope next month he posts the reviews again but simply makes one up to send people into another feeding frenzy. This is such an awesome thread. :lol

 

[Karma Kramer]

Ex-CIA, you'll never make it.

Are you kidding... Denis Dyack just contacted me and he is having his lawyers put together the papers right now. Mr, Beelzebozo actions has caused great financial and commercial harm to the intellectual property LAIR (c) and he will pay for those actions.... IN BLOOD!

 

[MrTroubleMaker]

I like the chick rating scale.

10 = goddess, flawless in every way.

9 = one or two things detract from the flawless rating. Maybe her teeth suck, her boobs are a little small compared to her butt, but she's still striking and hotter than any chicks most of us bang on a regular basis.

8 = She's hot for sure, but maybe her face isn't that great compared to her body or vice versa.

7 = Cute, but she probably doesn't have that great a face, and while her body fat percentage is low, her body isn't that hot. Probably a decent figure, but small boobs or something like that. With augmentation she jumps up to an 8.5.

6 = Your average "somewhat good looking chick."

5 = Very plain. Her score doubles after eight to ten drinks, but you definitely don't call her the next day.

4 = She's not hideous, but your friends will make fun of you if they find out you banged her. Probably plump. Might have a face that could be cute if she dropped 30 pounds.

3 = She's either obese, or has a ridiculously bad face. Speevy is known to go through as many as ten of these in a night.

2 = Definitely obese. She weighs more than Jaffe and Luke Smith combined. Even if she lost all the excess weight, her poor bone structure and face would doom her to mediocrity. Try to avoid.

1 = An ogre. I have only seen two of these in my life. She probably has horrible hygiene and clothes in addition to looking hideous to begin with.

So Lair with a 5.5 is a average/plain chick.... hmmm. I'd hit that

 

[Sharp]

Okay this thread suddenly got WAY awesome again.

 

[beelzebozo]

i really hope ziff sent me some kind of joke issue of the magazine

 

[super funk]

i really hope ziff sent me some kind of joke issue of the magazine

I hope so too, because that one make this thread even better.:lol

Spoiler

Lair actually got a 4.5

 

[Karma Kramer]

i really hope ziff sent me some kind of joke issue of the magazine

Don't try to pin this one on ziff you ****ing c*nt. You started this mess and you will pay for it.

 

[Femmeworth]

the truth is, i work at the printing press where egm has their magazines produced. unfortunately for them, i also hate sony. and so, when my boss was away having a butter tart, i used my extensive government computer training (ex-cia) to change the scores from their intended "excellent" to a much less excellent "lol."

so while the magazine itself is indeed real, i am not the beelzebozo you thought you knew

:lol

 

[Captain Glanton]

i really hope ziff sent me some kind of joke issue of the magazine

Well, they can't obviously, because you're not a real person. You're a creation of the collective strife here.

 

[Duke Togo]

Don't try to pin this one on ziff you ****ing c*nt. You started this mess and you will pay for it.

:lol I've never seen a review thread like this.

 

[Dirtbag]

this is so awesome.

This thread ....hmm 8.5

 

[JDSN]

This thread ....hmm 8.5

So how many of you PLAY editors post here?

 

[Rugasuki]

I hope this hasn't been brought up before (I searched) but anyone think Factor 5 will release an update to allow for the option of using the sticks for flight? Seems kind of silly to dump so much time and money into a game only to have people not buy it because they aren't comfortable with the tilt controls. They could easily go the MotorStorm route and let the user choose. Factor 5 was thinking of making a sequel if this game was successful. Hate to see that go up in smoke for such an easy potential patch.