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[Debirudog]

I mean, if we consider CNN standards....then it kind of is. They had a breaking news tweet and coverage when Pence got a haircut.

CNN is a mess. Sad!

 

[DrForester]

Found this on Imgur. I laughed.

 

[sazzy]

What's sad about Ben Carson is that he's an exceptionally brilliant neurosurgeon, but a terrible politician/person.

 

[Iolo]

Who is that reporter......cause, he can get it.

@jdiamond1

 

[jiggle]

GIF cutoff at the worst moment

 

[AntraxSuicide]

What's sad about Ben Carson is that he's an exceptionally brilliant neurosurgeon, but a terrible politician/person.

People can compartmentalize. At its core, his medical knowledge doesn't require him to avoid being a conspiracy theorist or an idiot. Same goes for more professional fields; hell, I've known biology teachers who didn't believe in evolution (but they still got those questions correct going through school. Just didn't believe what they were answering).

 

[DrForester]

What's sad about Ben Carson is that he's an exceptionally brilliant neurosurgeon, but a terrible politician/person.

He's basically a real-life Sheldon.

 

[Debirudog]

I have an Earth Science teacher that tried to have us argue why global warming is a hoax...Using a fox news article....

:shudders:

 

[User 463088]

@jdiamond1

 

[Slizeezyc]

People can compartmentalize. At its core, his medical knowledge doesn't require him to avoid being a conspiracy theorist or an idiot. Same goes for more professional fields; hell, I've known biology teachers who didn't believe in evolution (but they still got those questions correct going through school. Just didn't believe what they were answering).

It's true, I had a teacher in medical school who believed every INSANE conspiracy theory in medicine and beyond you could imagine. But she still taught everything legit and by the book and followed all rules, but man you talk to her and you walk away thinking "holy crap is she insane."

 

[User 463088]

My earth science teacher in 9th grade called me a f-ggot.
My college earth science teacher worked for NASA back in the day, and didn't believe in the moon landing. The only thing he taught was orbital velocity and shit. He covered none of the $200 textbook.

 

[Bam Bam Baklava]

Jill Stein is a Harvard educated doctor and she believes all kinds of absolute garbage.

 

[User 463088]

Jill Stein is a Harvard educated doctor and she believes all kinds of absolute garbage.

Eh, she says a lot of absolute garbage. Whether or not she believes it, is another question entirely. She panders to anti-vaxxers and wifi truthers (is that a thing?)

 

[BlastProcessing]

yo

have you considered a chill pill

market forces dictate that the media tends toward reaffirming preexisting biases of its viewership and milking scandals for ratings

Market forces also dictate that Ikea tends to toward sneaking horsemeat into it's food. Sometimes market forces are dicks.

 

[Debirudog]

Market forces also dictate that Ikea tends to toward sneaking horsemeat into it's food. Sometimes market forces are dicks.

horse meat is delicious though. Better than dirty E. Coli Chipotle.

 

[User 463088]

horse meat is delicious though. Better than dirty E. Coli Chipotle.

Mama, no.

Also, I'm 3/4s drunk right now.

 

[Basileus777]

wifi truthers (is that a thing?)

Unfortunately it is.

 

[AntraxSuicide]

Eh, she says a lot of absolute garbage. Whether or not she believes it, is another question entirely. She panders to anti-vaxxers and wifi truthers (is that a thing?)

I don't imagine the money is good enough to warrant lying though. She's probably actually insane like that.

 

[User 463088]

Unfortunately it is.

That's stupid. Sometimes, humanity is a mistake. Sad.

I don't imagine the money is good enough to warrant lying though. She's probably actually insane like that.

I mean, if you don't want to practice any more and want to play Let's pretend President every 4 years.....maybe? I'm sure she believes some of it. I don't think she's savvy enough to play along wink wink nudge nudge without at least entertaining the idea.

You ever get drunk but then you're 100% not drunk....but you are drunk, but everything you're saying makes perfect sense and you're in a zen drunk state?
That's me right now.

 

[Wilsongt]

I am pulling an Adam tonight. I am having vodka with sour apple mix.

But without a boyfriend.

 

[Spoiled Milk]

Breaking: Thousands of People Remotely Harrassed By Government Mind Control Initiative

Cheryl Welsh has been the target of a secret U.S. government mind-control experiment for almost 30 years.

[...] A former medical receptionist in Sacramento, Welsh was a freshman at the University of California, Davis in 1987 when she noticed electrical appliances were “remotely targeted to harass,” her. Phones, cars, typewriters, and TVs would stop working at inopportune times.

Soon, Welsh became convinced that her thoughts were being read by unknown external forces, “24/7, with precision.” She says staged situations played out on the street in front of her, engineered by strangers who appeared to know exactly what she was thinking.

Welsh was terrified. But she was too embarrassed to say anything to anyone for fear of sounding crazy.

“I’ve always trusted my mental health, and I don’t believe in the supernatural, or UFOs, or anything like that,” Welsh said. “So I knew I wasn’t imagining these things.”

She set out to find others who had experienced similar phenomena, and found that she was not alone. Welsh eventually came to the conclusion that she was the subject of covert US government testing. After all, she explains, who but the government possessed the technological know-how to cause what she was experiencing?

When asked what she has done to try and stop the harassment, Welsh responds, “What haven’t I done? I’ve hired scientists, electronics experts, private investigators, and more. I was interviewed on CNN and they had their electronics expert come out and test my home, but they didn’t find anything. Well, of course they didn’t find anything — they didn’t look for military signals.”

People like Welsh, who started a nonprofit called Mindjustice.org in 1996, call themselves “targeted individuals” or “TIs.” Kevin Bond, an unemployed bartender in Palm Springs, California, says he believes a local family drugged him, implanted a microchip in his head while he was unconscious, and now controls his thoughts and behavior. “H.D.,” a tenured professor at a West Coast university who wished to keep his real name private, is convinced his brain is being manipulated by electronic frequencies coming from a nearby government installation.

The number of people who identify as TIs, though difficult to pin down definitively, has been estimated to exceed 10,000. Yet, according to the New York Times, which this summer profiled a woman who believed the NSA had brainwashed her friends and neighbors into believing she was a terrorist, “the phenomenon remains virtually unresearched.”

Roger Tolces, a former Los Angeles audio-visual equipment salesman, now runs a “professional private investigative agency with the ability to find and then help you to eliminate Electronic Harassment.”

[...]

On his website, Tolces sells an “Electrostatic Active Shield System” for “about $1,000.”

“Any directed energy attack is deflected off this energy field giving the targeted individual the ability to get ongoing relief,” the product description reads.

TIs also spend considerable sums of money on products that promise protection from things like “remote brain manipulation,” “psychotronic weapons,” and “psychic and spiritual attacks.”

One such item is the QuWave Defender, which comes in four versions: Personal ($297), Tabletop ($499), Triple Tabletop (currently on sale for $997), and Briefcase Sentinel ($1,197). It supposedly generates what the Los Angeles-based company calls a “Scalar Wave Field,” a special frequency possessing the “unique property of being able to interfere with harmful rays, reduce the effect and functioning of implants, and act as a barrier to psycho-electronic harmful signals aimed at the individual.”

Emil DeToffol, LessEMF.com’s president, said there are “many thousands of people who are genuinely sensitive to electromagnetic frequencies (EMF) and do require shielding and meters,” he says. [...] "But there is a subset who claim or believe that they are being targeted by the government or aliens or whomever it may be.”

“They’re looking for shielding materials, garments, fabrics, metals, paints, and meters for measuring, but oftentimes they can’t really articulate what they’re trying to shield from or trying to measure,” said DeToffol.

“Of course since it's impossible to logically prove a negative, I can't say categorically that there is no ‘Men Who Talk to Goats’ program or technologies out there,” Metz says. “But if there is, I don't know anything about it.”

Cheryl Welsh, for one, isn’t convinced.

“I continue to find substantiating evidence of what I think is going on with secret neuroweapons,” she argues, adding that none of the various products and services she has purchased have been any help at all. “They promise these amazing results, but it’s really just phony baloney stuff.”

Truly chilling stuff.

 

[User 463088]

I am pulling an Adam tonight. I am having vodka with sour apple mix.

But without a boyfriend.

Yasssss. I'm on my 2nd surge and pineapple vodka.

 

[Wilsongt]

Yasssss. I'm on my 2nd surge and pineapple vodka.

Yummy

 

[Spoiled Milk]

Market forces also dictate that Ikea tends to toward sneaking horsemeat into it's food. Sometimes market forces are dicks.

What's wrong with horsemeat?

 

[Debirudog]

i need to get drunk to forget it all but I have a project to do.

Indesign is not fun.

 

[User 463088]

Yummy

And my bf is drunk playing Madden.....so ya. I basically might as well be alone since Im watching football.

 

[User 463088]

i need to get drunk to forget it all but I have a project to do.

Indesign is not fun.

I have a project due tomorrow too. But, I can do it later. Drink now. School later. So it has always been so it shall always be amen.

 

[theultimo]

Breaking: Thousands of People Remotely Harrassed By Government Mind Control Initiative

Gangstalking, never gets old.

 

[User 85168]

Breaking: Thousands of People Remotely Harrassed By Government Mind Control Initiative

Truly chilling stuff.

Why post this. The story is about these poor people getting scammed due to their angst, and those are the things you quote and bold? If you're mocking them, it doesn't come across that amusing at all.

 

[Spoiled Milk]

Gangstalking, never gets old.

What do you do to protect yourself? What can you do?

 

[sc0la]

horse meat is delicious though. Better than dirty E. Coli Chipotle.

I read this as Wile E. Coyotle out of the corner of my eye.

 

[User 463088]

I read this as Wile E. Coyotle out of the corner of my eye.

Wile E Coyote would probably be stringy as fuck.

 

[Spoiled Milk]

Why post this. The story is about these poor people getting scammed due to their angst, and those are the things you quote and bold? If you're mocking them, it doesn't come across that amusing at all.

1) I edited it to make it look like a serious story about government mind control. This makes people more likely to click it.
2) I'm posting it because this is actually a serious story I want people to read.
3) I'm not mocking them. They have mental health issues. I take that seriously. But I did find my rendition humorous.

 

[Makai]

I'm not mocking them. They have mental health issues. I take that seriously. But I did find my rendition humorous.

I think Trump said this verbatim

 

[Wilsongt]

And my bf is drunk playing Madden.....so ya. I basically might as well be alone since Im watching football.

I'm always alone, so lol

 

[User 463088]

I'm always alone, so lol

You'll find someone perfect. I'm about 50% sure my bf only dates me because I cook for him.

 

[GregLombardi]

You'll find someone perfect. I'm about 50% sure my bf only dates me because I cook for him.

Where do I find guys like you? Someone to make me food would indeed be >60% of the battle, by my estimate.

 

[User 463088]

Where do I find guys like you? Someone to make me food would indeed be >60% of the battle, by my estimate.

I'm pretty sure my bf thinks that me doing his laundry and cooking his meals is a turn on for me. Which, I don't mind, tbh. If he didn't eat like a horse, it'd help though.

The one night my bf cooked the kids asked me if we'd had a fight because they didn't want to eat his food. The other night he asked if I'd cook biscuits and gravy for dinner. He thought that biscuits and gravy came out of their own respective cans. When I made him watch how you make gravy, he thought it was wizardry.

 

[Retromelon]

Hey, what's up,

my fine friends at poligaf

 

[Suikoguy]

The one night my bf cooked the kids

Well... that's certainly something.

 

[theultimo]

Man its a shitty night when im speedrunning FF randomizer because im stuck with relatives because of labor day.

 

[Wilsongt]

You'll find someone perfect. I'm about 50% sure my bf only dates me because I cook for him.

I know a guy who only wants a house husband.

You can cook for me and we can drink awful cocktails and play terrible games.

 

[User 463088]

Well... that's certainly something.

I missed a comma. Mess.

I know a guy who only wants a house husband.

You can cook for me and we can drink awful cocktails and play terrible games.

Yaaaaaaay. Sounds fun

 

[Suikoguy]

I missed a comma. Mess.

I love how a missing comma can change an entire meaning.
Kind of a failing of english as a language.

That's nowhere near as bad as some. I should make note of the really hilarious ones.

 

[Foffy]

I'm pretty sure my bf thinks that me doing his laundry and cooking his meals is a turn on for me. Which, I don't mind, tbh. If he didn't eat like a horse, it'd help though.

The one night my bf cooked the kids asked me if we'd had a fight because they didn't want to eat his food. The other night he asked if I'd cook biscuits and gravy for dinner. He thought that biscuits and gravy came out of their own respective cans. When I made him watch how you make gravy, he thought it was wizardry.

Nobody said this, but it must be said...

He took cat food to a meta level.

 

[FloydtheFathead]

.

Finally caught up with the thread today.. I just wanted to say that this was excellent.

 

[Dubbedinenglish]

The one night my bf cooked the kids...

You into that freaky stuff?

 

[User 463088]

I miss one comma and I never hear the end of it. I make entire post with no good ideas, and people just smile and nod. I feel very attacked right now.

 

[Debirudog]

people pick on you because they love you, Adam.

 

[cartoon_soldier]

I miss one comma and I never hear the end of it. I make entire post with no good ideas, and people just smile and nod. I feel very attacked right now.

We love you Adam. Well probably love your mom more but still.