The last two days I've been thinking about the hot reaction for democrats to blame themselves for not understanding the rust belt and rural whites. Sure, there's something there. It looks like Hillary's team fucked up horrifically on that point as well.
The thing is, you can always say "We should have understood the other guys better" because outreach has no ceiling. There's always something more you could have done. Before democrats guilt trip themselves into complete self-doubt though... I kinda feel there's some context to keep in mind. None of this happened in a vacuum. It was far from just a liberal failure to take a disenfranchised group seriously.
I've been exposed to this stuff since the 80s. Grew up in Texas hearing Limbaugh's show from the very beginning. Long before liberals had a chance to screw anything up, the neoconservative machine was poisoning the well. In '88 Limbaugh was warning people about Liberal Lies. Revealing how democrats were commies. Urging people to see them as the enemy of democracy. Warning them about liberals coming to steal everything and give it to lazy blacks. A favorite, reiterated again and again, was that liberals and democrats had no right to exist. They were illegitimate and the goal should be, ultimately, to eliminate them.
This has been repeated for so long and drummed in, it is the conventional wisdom of the country outside the cities. The cities are your enemies, full of white traitors feeding lazy minorities who vote to keep the traitors in power. So you know, when you go to try and reach out to these people, long before any of your own "smugness" comes into play, they already think you're the devil sent to trick them. This is one of the real reasons these people vote straight down ticket R - it's often not a formal, patriotic party loyalty. It's not even always a coherent desire to fuck over minorities (but they resent minorities for all the Free Stuff they must be getting). It's because the R is protecting them from the D.
Doesn't sound dissimilar from people who see the D as protecting them from the R. Rationally, objectively, both sides aren't the same. It's pretty documented that it is the Republicans who have been running the long con, performing the work. They succeeded in creating the media empire and spread the propaganda first, shifting the blame for what they were doing onto the other side. So that by the time everybody noticed and rushed to blow the whistle, the people who had been absorbing the Republican work just said "can't fool us. We know you're the ones who are really behind it all."
So when you go to try and understand the people outside the cities, my life experience says just acting friendly and saying you want to hear their problems is not going to work by itself. A lot of them are going to be too busy sneering at you and being blinded by rage, wanting your diseased kind to disappear. At this point I suspect the only thing that can ever work is doing for these people what the republicans promise and then intentionally sabotage. Give them some way out. It is why they went batshit over Trump. He finally looked like a way out that wasn't a D or an R, which really makes it more tragic what's about to happen.
The funny thing is, while I sure as fuck would rather Trump not be president right now - particularly because the incoming GOP is set straight on ruining my personal life - this could present an opportunity. If Trump fails these people as completely as many think, I guess there's something to work with. A vacuum to fill.
I think a word to the wise though is that right now in the immediate future, it's going to have to be about surviving what Trump has done and building a resistance. Until Trump betrays the angry white mob, they are obviously running on a blind high, believing salvation is here. This isn't the time for guilt-laden democrats to crawl to them begging forgiveness for not listening. Even if sincere, they're not going to take it the way you want. It's just gong to be an admission that the republicans were right, you WERE wrong all along, and now you can be put into place forever, as the true Americans inherit the country at last.
And yes, of course, all this is in addition to the fact that the angry white mob traded the promise of economic opportunity for the lives of everyone who isn't them. (Nothing personal.)