I don't engage people who explicitly or implicitly call my parents child abusers. I remember all the circumstances surrounding my disciplining growing up, and how I personally felt about it, but it's worthless to put my personal business out there. Especially for the sake of argument.
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The Black Culture Thread |OT8| Hands Up, Don't Shoot
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MorisUkunRasik
Member
Hitting as discipline especially in very young children is usually just shitty parenting regardless if you totally turned out fine.
First off, didn't realise you were joking about HRD. Cool.
Secondly, I sometimes mention it when I'm treading on thin ice by making an assertion about a culture that isn't my own. It's a preemptive 'mea culpa' in case I say something that sounds OK to me, but fucked up when it falls on other ears.
If I'm doing it a lot lately, it's perhaps a subconscious reaction to all the 'fuck white people' sentiments I've read lately.
You're right though, it's redundant given my fucking picture is attached to every post. I'll stop it.
MikeBreezy92
Member
Ehhhh....I mean...Idk bout that breh..
I don't agree with that.
This I can agree with. I don't see what a 1~3 year old could be doing to deserve an ass whooping. Hand pop maybe if they're doing something that could hurt themselves or someone else, but otherwise, that's a baby, wtf are you thinking?
Massive Duck. C.M.
Banned
Little kids don't know and can't really understand why they're getting hit anyway, even if you explain it. When kids are old enough to possibly understand, there are much better ways to discipline anyway. These things are obvious.
Problem is some people want to shit on others because of their pasts regardless of what they have to say
Problem is some people want to shit on others because of their pasts regardless of what they have to say
I didn't mean to shame your whiteness. Hope it didn't come off that way.
Just, you're a semi-regular poster in this thread. I think you've earned the right to state an opinion without fear that people are going to jump on the assumption that you're racist or intentionally ignorant. lol
MikeBreezy92
Member
Probably needed to specify. Hand pops are mostly what I'm thinking about when it comes to the little ones. Not full on spankings.
Massive Duck. C.M.
Banned
Dave has a Vita, he's all right with me
and the funny thing about that thread right now is even though the premise is the vomit-inducing "child abuse is built into the black family tradition," everyone's just going back and forth about corporal punishment. No one's daring to address the thread topic
and the funny thing about that thread right now is even though the premise is the vomit-inducing "child abuse is built into the black family tradition," everyone's just going back and forth about corporal punishment. No one's daring to address the thread topic
Big Baybee
Member
My wife's brother and his wife pops their 1 year old and it bothers the shit out of both of us.
It's so uncomfortable.
I agree. Usually by 4 years of age, children are becoming more conscious of discipline. I'd recommend time outs at that age and younger, and still, typically the bad behavior will be a result of exhaustion, frustration or just a cry for attention.
I think 6~9 is more or less when discipline evaluations should be given special attention. All punishments should be measured to ensure the child has an understanding of right and wrong.
MikeBreezy92
Member
Why though? Is it first resort? 1 yr olds just do whatever sometimes regardless of what you're saying.
MWS Natural
Member
Any of the destiny ps4 guys want to start organizing some stuff?
Big Baybee
Member
Honestly, that shit works with my 3 year old. She only has to be told to stop once. She wants no part of that corner for a full 3 minutes. It's like torture to her. But with her all it takes is a stern voice. Also helps being big and bearded.time outs?
They are hardcore Pentecostals so it's religious for them. I've been to their church (all white, super awkward) and it's basically science is evil, whip your kids, fuck gays.
Boss Riovane
Member
So I ask again is RE6 worth 7 dollars?
Massive Duck. C.M.
Banned
If you have someone to do co-op reliably with, yeah, I had more fun than I expected playing a friend
I think so. I enjoyed it a lot. Do you have anyone you could play co-op with? That's the best way to play through it.
MikeBreezy92
Member
Well of course. It forces people to perhaps have to look at their parents and elders in an unappealing light and maybe even confront the reality that we were abused under the guise of discipline. It's a tough topic, made no easier by how insensitive some are about it. (Though the current thread is pretty civil)It's so uncomfortable.
MorisUkunRasik
Member
Not until a child is around 5 do they even begin to categorize things into 'right' and 'wrong', hitting around that age and before is more parent venting frustration than correcting behavior if the parent believes it or not. It could actually end up teaching children undesirable lessons like violence solving problems and 'might makes right' among others.
After that period it does get a little grey with the understanding of punishment. Most studies have shown the amount of damage you can do to a young person by physically disciplining them outweighs perceived advantages. At best it stops undesirable behavior immediately but hardly keeps it from reoccurring and can create anti-social/overly aggressive behavior in the long-term.
I'd say a good amount of time where pain is used as discipline, it was very far from the best course of action.
psn: Kursk
Think me and DY are gonna try and do that Raid sometime this weekend.
Haven't played it, but I'd have a hard time believing that it wasn't.
Big Baybee
Member
Yea I can't remember last time we put her there. It's only a couple of minutes but goddamn she hates it. I got the belt growing up and when I tolds moms the wife was pregnant, she was like promise me you'll never hit your child. I was like I already got you covered. Then she apologized for whooping me and that she wishes she would have done things differently. It was deep.
Massive Duck. C.M.
Banned
It's getting there. We finally got someone with the "your parents weren't shit/you're a deluded fool" verses
I was only physically disciplined a couple of times in my life, and it was due to my mum or dad losing their patience rather than to teach me a lesson or anything. I knew it was wrong and they did too.
I'm not sure how I'll discipline my daughter yet because she's too young for me to 'get' her as a person. It won't be physical though, unless it's a 'don't touch that dangerous shit' hand slap.
I can't harbour any ill will towards parents that want the best for their kids, even if they go about achieving that in misguided ways. I can't see all physical discipline as malicious child abuse, even if I don't personally agree with it.
I'm not sure how I'll discipline my daughter yet because she's too young for me to 'get' her as a person. It won't be physical though, unless it's a 'don't touch that dangerous shit' hand slap.
I can't harbour any ill will towards parents that want the best for their kids, even if they go about achieving that in misguided ways. I can't see all physical discipline as malicious child abuse, even if I don't personally agree with it.
I dig that, and if I have been doing it more lately, it probably does look strange. I didn't think you were taking a swing, just pointing something out.
Doesn't make me look at my parents differently at all. If they didn't raise the way they did I wouldn't be the person I am today, one I'm mostly happy with. Looking back on what they could have done differently is a nonsense proposition to me because you can't ever know what would be different about your present. Best you can do is take your childhood into consideration to better inform your own parenting.
i know time out didn't work w/ me and i've never really seen it work. it often turned into these big extended ordeals of crying on the kids part and bargaining on the parents part. it wouldn't be one of my first resorts when i have kids as far as how i would like to discipline. (edit: obviously this is a group decision w/ the other parent an ideal scenario)
a deep/stern voice will have a kid looking at you like a deer in headlights. it's like it shakes them at their core.
i know myself i was hard to discipline even though i wasn't bad. i was just purposefully annoying. whoopins were the only thing that worked for me. a lot of times just the threat of a whoopin (or w/ my grandma, a look in the direction of her switches) would be enough to get me to chill.
i could handle the rest of whatever my folks came up with (timeouts. loss of privileges. getting my room stripped for a few weeks was fun.)
Massive Duck. C.M.
Banned
Seeing that thread title every time I look at OT is really starting to piss me off too
Angelus Errare
Banned
Meh, my mom and dad "whooped" me. I love them to death, but like Carter said...that shit was wrong and did me no good. I'm definitely not going to repeat some straight up battered child syndrome shit of "I deserved it" cause nah.
I mean most people would never beat their dog, but they brag about disciplining their kid...think about that shit.
And that thread title is annoying as shit considering that corporal punishment is a big thing in Korea and Japan and in Asian homes (the number of times I've watched kids get beat by teachers is hilarious). It's also a big thing in many Hispanic communities...but I'll digress
I mean most people would never beat their dog, but they brag about disciplining their kid...think about that shit.
And that thread title is annoying as shit considering that corporal punishment is a big thing in Korea and Japan and in Asian homes (the number of times I've watched kids get beat by teachers is hilarious). It's also a big thing in many Hispanic communities...but I'll digress
Prototype Viktor
Member
i say start growing cotton out of your backyard and then having the kids pick it when they act up
I got whooped only once and never caused any problems ever again
My mother beat me twice that I can remember. The first time was the worst: belt, shoe, a hanger, and I recall she stopped to consider hitting me with a tennis racket. Second time was one of those plastic bats. Neither time did I learn anything and both times it was clear that she was doing it just out of anger and not a desire to teach me much of anything. In those moments, it felt like she hated me and if there was any lesson I learned, it was that people who are more powerful than you can do whatever they want to you. Even people who claim to love you.
Now do I resent my mother for this? No. My mom is one of the most loving and giving people I know and to focus on this would be to ignore the fact that had it not been for her guidance and love, I probably would have killed myself years ago. But I also recognize that I can love my mother to bits while also acknowledging her actions on these occasions as barbaric and cruel.
I think this is where some - not necessarily on Gaf, but in general - get tripped up on this topic. We think that to acknowledge the actions of our caretakers as abusive (because let's be honest: as much as we roll our eyes at people calling a pop on the hand child abuse, a lot of the shit we brush off as just discipline is fucking abuse plain and simple) would be to label them as monsters. No one want to make that call on their parents (depending on your relationship with them, of course).
But for me, I just accept that my mom is human. She was doing the best she could with what she had to work with and she didn't make all the right calls. I won't ever say I deserved to be beaten, but I'm not going to hold it against her for the rest of my life. Especially knowing that she herself was abused as a child (a fact she didn't fully come to grips with until I was an adult) and was probably just doing what she was taught.
I plan to have kids and I won't ever hit them on account of I hate seeing others in pain. Especially children. I believe there are better ways to teach children right from wrong, and the window where I might consider it effective is so small it's like why bother.
Now do I resent my mother for this? No. My mom is one of the most loving and giving people I know and to focus on this would be to ignore the fact that had it not been for her guidance and love, I probably would have killed myself years ago. But I also recognize that I can love my mother to bits while also acknowledging her actions on these occasions as barbaric and cruel.
I think this is where some - not necessarily on Gaf, but in general - get tripped up on this topic. We think that to acknowledge the actions of our caretakers as abusive (because let's be honest: as much as we roll our eyes at people calling a pop on the hand child abuse, a lot of the shit we brush off as just discipline is fucking abuse plain and simple) would be to label them as monsters. No one want to make that call on their parents (depending on your relationship with them, of course).
But for me, I just accept that my mom is human. She was doing the best she could with what she had to work with and she didn't make all the right calls. I won't ever say I deserved to be beaten, but I'm not going to hold it against her for the rest of my life. Especially knowing that she herself was abused as a child (a fact she didn't fully come to grips with until I was an adult) and was probably just doing what she was taught.
I plan to have kids and I won't ever hit them on account of I hate seeing others in pain. Especially children. I believe there are better ways to teach children right from wrong, and the window where I might consider it effective is so small it's like why bother.
Massive Duck. C.M.
Banned
Pretty much how I feel and how I presented my experience in the thread, but of course no one addresses that because it's not fun to argue with sense.
A lot of people go at this all or nothing, you have to be either against corporal punishment AND condemn your family to be truly converted, or love your family but stand firmly for corporal punishment. You've got people who already don't care about having civil discussion with people they don't know and have to respect going for throats in a really personal subject, tied to people who raised them.
Angelus Errare
Banned
magnificent83
Member
Woke up this morning and saw it and just shook my head. Try as I could, when your main link is Bernie Mac standup ... I mean I remember when Russell Peters did this. Why are we pretending like its a tradition? I mean if 70% of the US supports corporal punishment and blacks make up 12% of the nation [bs math], how does that make it a black problem?
Just another example of there being no room for nuance or middle ground on GAF (or the internet in general).
Big Baybee
Member
I was at a restaurant last month and a little 5 year old white girl was throwing a tantrum outside of it. It was almost cartoonish how fast the dad slid that belt off his waste. One swift, slick motion then pow.
MikeBreezy92
Member
Only a sith deals in Absolutes.....
MorisUkunRasik
Member
Dreams-Visions
Member
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hqhoM5CliFM
THIS
IS
MY
NEW
SHITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
probably old to you, but new to me. This will be played at loud volume, mostly in residential areas.
THIS
IS
MY
NEW
SHITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
probably old to you, but new to me. This will be played at loud volume, mostly in residential areas.
Massive Duck. C.M.
Banned
It is more difficult than it should be to purchase Run the Jewels from Japan
Of course we do, everyone does (as in, members of every community). Hell, it wasn't that long ago that we were quite happy to have teachers give kids a wrap on the knuckles or a canin'.
Switch or slipper, we're all guilty. I think it's interesting to look at cultural roots for these practices, but there shouldn't be any suggestion that the end result (physical punishment) is unique to the community in question.
Black Republican
Member
anyone getting a iphone 6 tommorow?
sticking with my S5
sticking with my S5
CountBlack
Member
I remember when used to live in the islands when I was younger. I was around 8-9 years old, I was out with some older kids until around.. 10:30 ish which was way to late to be out especially on an island that had a lot of crime and drug issues. Anyway my mom was worried sick about where I was, calling people, looking around the streets for me but I was in some area I've never been. Anyway I get home late af, my mom locked the door so that when I get home I wouldn't just be able to sneak into bed..
those whoopings brehs
To be honest though, I had on jean shorts and they were like +70 armour that took most of the damage so it wasn't as bad as it could've been. Then after we talked about it, then she heated up some food for me that she bought hours ago then I went to bed. Did I deserve it? Personally yes, to that degree probably not, but she knows how it was out there at night with the junkies and shit. Probably was assuming the worst.
We talk about things like that now or the AP thing pretty freely/easily.
those whoopings brehs
To be honest though, I had on jean shorts and they were like +70 armour that took most of the damage so it wasn't as bad as it could've been. Then after we talked about it, then she heated up some food for me that she bought hours ago then I went to bed. Did I deserve it? Personally yes, to that degree probably not, but she knows how it was out there at night with the junkies and shit. Probably was assuming the worst.
We talk about things like that now or the AP thing pretty freely/easily.
Massive Duck. C.M.
Banned
anyone getting a iphone 6 tommorow?
sticking with my S5
just got my 5c literally last month, so no.
might replace my US-use 4 tho
Caught pretty much this exact one
Why did the whipping thread get locked? I saw nothing bad in there.
I have had my ass whipped by my dad and so many relatives so many times that I don't remember them all lol.
I even remember when the pastor of our church was whipping children. We would get on our knees and put our hands out. Then he/they would then use a belt and strike our hands. Shit was terrible.
It's weird because I often picture my childhood as happy and completely block out the beatings.
I have had my ass whipped by my dad and so many relatives so many times that I don't remember them all lol.
I even remember when the pastor of our church was whipping children. We would get on our knees and put our hands out. Then he/they would then use a belt and strike our hands. Shit was terrible.
It's weird because I often picture my childhood as happy and completely block out the beatings.
Massive Duck. C.M.
Banned
Mod probably looked at the title and a few posts and did a preemptive strike. Last spanking thread got pretty vile (even though this one was relatively calm for having the premise it did).
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