Thank God for Donald Trump.
At the coda of the Obama presidency, mere months before the tea party was supposed to shock the country and take the white house, a brazen political outsider has burst into the arena uninvited and destroyed the entire foundation of the Republican party. And like a phoenix of lore, within months it will be born anew, speciously similar to the GOP but fundamentally different. This is the death of Reagan conservatism, and the base is ringing the bell as loud as they can.
Donald Trump has exposed to everyone what many had suspected: that the success of the tea party was not because people wanted tea party conservatism, but because they were anti-establishment. Trump fits conservatism like gloves on OJ. Trans people entering bathrooms of their choice? It's whatever. Christianity? He says he's a big fan, but we know his knowledge of the bible starts and ends with Charles Heston. Balanced budget?
Trump said:
I would insist on it relatively soon. Right now we're so under, we're so far under that you can't go too quickly. But I would absolutely insist on it relatively soon.
Sounds like he has little conviction in this regard. In fact, by most measures, he really is a poor conservative.
And yet he's drawn in the base with the now infamous campaign promises only a true fascist could come up with. The truth was, the same forces that primaried Eric Cantor, rejected McCarthy for speaker, elected Ted Cruz and shut down the entire federal government in an unprecedented fiduciary putsch... elected the
un-conservative. By a landslide. They don't want a smaller government; they want to control immigration. They don't want free trade; they want their jobs back. They don't want war; they just want to kick ISIS ass. Israel is negotiable; maybe Japan should have nukes; our military presence around the world is a bum deal; and Bush didn't keep up safe! This is the champion of the Republican politics.
Imagine, for a moment, that every Republican politician was 70% similar to Trump. What would life be like? Horrible, you cry! But maybe you're wrong. Sure, there's now a registry for Muslim immigrants. Yeah, we're not accepting refugees anymore. And ok, we're flat out kicking the children back across the border (a Guatamela, perdedores!). And as Ann Coulter would say, for not-Americans, things are bleak.
But now picture what we have gained. There is no constant march to war (The Syrians? Who cares?). Gay marriage is whatever. The budget gets passed, and every single day a new deal is made in congress across the aisle. Nobody touches Medicare or Social Security: those are good the way they are. Religion? Oh, yeah, we love "Two-Corinthians". And maybe Obamacare is still under attack, but by and large the frenetic race to the right is over.
If you really think Trump is bad, you forgot that there's much worse. Trump's a racist... But the Bushes lied to America. They propped Saddam up and then risked American lives to tear him down. W and Cheney abused their power in ways that would make Nixon proud. Before John Boehner, the three prior Republican speakers of the house were revolting human beings while simulatenously lording over American morality like modern Winthrops. The conservatives blamed the EPA for Flint, Michigan, and then blocked federal relief funding. The tea party shut down the entire government because they don't know how economics works and big numbers scare them.
In most respects Donald Trump is leaps and bounds better than your average elephant.
The best part of all of this is that Republicans will learn this lesson well. Pandora's box has been unlocked. No more conservative litmus tests. No more proving you're the biggest baddest budget cutter there ever was. No more pandering to religious freaks and sucking Pat Robertson's dick in the back of his biblemobile just to get evangelicals. No more getting castrated just because you tried making a deal with Democrats - deals are good! What you really need is a simple dedication to true Americans: say no to bad trade deals and corporate overlords. Be tough on immigration. Be tough on terror. That's all you need. The playbook is dead; long live the playbook.
So hurrah to the Donald! And welcome to the new America.
