I've been listening to my gay friends and leaders the last two days (Listening! It's so 1991), and this is what I am hearing:
It is very difficult to accept the Christian lament for LGBTQ folks in their deaths when we've done such a brutal job of honoring them in their lives. It kind of feels like:
"We don't like you, we don't support you, we think you are a mess, we don't agree with you, we don't welcome you, we don't approve of you, we don't listen to you, we don't affirm you. But please accept our comfort and kind words this week."
Anti-LGBTQ sentiment has paved a long runway to hate crimes. When the gay community is denied civil liberties and respect and dignity, when we make gay jokes, when we say 'that's so gay', when we turn our noses up or down, when we qualify every solitary statement of love with a caveat of disapproval, when we consistently disavow everything about the LGBTQ community, we create a culture ripe for hate. We are complicit.
We cannot with any integrity honor in death those we failed to honor in life.
Can you see why the Christian outpouring of compassion toward Orlando feels so disingenuous? It seems like the only harm toward the LGBTQ community that will overcome Christian disapproval is a mass murder. We grieve not publicly for your dehumanization, suicide rates (individual deaths have failed to move us), excommunications, denial of liberties, hate crimes against you, religious exclusion, constant shame beatdown.
Christian love has yet to outpace Christian disdain.