any advice on how to know what to spend my skill points on? right now i do what i normally do in games and just horde skill points until I run into a reason to need them
To be honest, I don't think a single skill is actually mandatory. It all just depends what you want to focus on and what you like.
For example, if you're not interested in outposts. Those are useless. Not interested in crafting? Those are useless. Not interested in shipbuilding? Those are useless. You can get ships, weapons, and items that'll carry you through the game without needing those. Some say the skills like botany or zoology are useless. But if you enjoy going around to all the planets and surveying them, those are great. Just depends what you decide you like with the game.
Not sure how far along you are but for an early basic, all-around character, I think these are my top ones that make things more enjoyable early on :
1) Boost pack - Just one point is fine unless you really enjoy using it in combat or are traversing a lot. Just 1 point has been fine for me. I don't really use it much during combat though.
2) Piloting - I would suggest 2 points into here since the ships feel real sluggish without it
3) Security - Lots of stuff to hack/lockpick in the game and you can get some decent stuff/credits to help you along
4) Persuasion - I don't believe you need this to actually get the dialogue option offered to you, but it increases success rate and opens options with success
5) Weight lifting - I have this maxed out since I was really getting bogged down in the early game
6) Stealth - A bit inconsistent, but 1 point in this gives you a stealth meter that's pretty useful